The Swaenenburgh Free Press
El Capital,20th May 1998Sources close to the government hint that our government is developing plans to legalize drugs in the next months. The legalization would include most types of drugs ranging from weed, XTC, to possibly heroin and cocaine. When asked the spokesperson of the PM did not deny that the rumours were false and confirmed that informal talks were indeed being held at the highest levels about this subject. He stated that government officials visiting Amsterdam in The Netherlands were interested in the liberal Dutch drugs policy. Legalisation would mean that the government could control prices and thus restrict drug-related crime, as well as recieving tax from the lucrative trade in drugs. A member of the ruling left-wing Progressive party welcomed the possible legalization stating that drug-tacking was no different from drinking alcohol or smoking tobacco. The government is to issue a statement at the end of this month.#
El capital, 27th May 1998 The government of Libertia confirms hereby that drugs will be legalized in our nation at the end of this year, when legislation on the subject will be approved by the parliament. The government feels that drugs should be taken out of the criminal circuit so that it can be regulated. This would mean that indeed the government intents to put a maximumprice on various types of drugs in order to control drug-related crime. An addiction is an illness, not a criminal offence. The government would like it to be known that no advertising shall be allowed and that the sale, which will take place from strictly selected chemistshops and coffeeshops 'Dutch-style', will only be allowed to adults. Export of drugs sold in this nation will remain a serious offence. For more information ask the Ministry of Education & Information.
El capital, 20th October 1998Whereas state symbols, flags etc. in most nations emphazise the unity of nations, Libertia is facing a serious crises over choosing new symbols and a flag. On the one hand there are those who believe in a conservative approach, stating our nations glorious past, freedom and unity should be the focuspoint when designing, others feel since we are so young a nation why not go for something more modern and progressive indicating a global interest, individuality and democracy etc. Last week the Progressive party was under serious attack by the king himself, as his majesty publicly stated: " I won't have my crown over that damned abomination!" As he was shown the new coat of arms by a local artist. The PM responded his majesty should keep his royal mouth shut and go fishing. The king, being the chief-in-command of the Navy, is currently mobilising troops trying to kick the PM out of his parliament. All we of La Prensa Libertad can say is, it has been a beautiful day for experimenting with democracy.
El Capital, 25th October Ratio has returned to our kingdom. The argument between parliament and HM the King has ended afther long and extensive talks, resulting in the withdrawl of both the Marines from parliament and the proposels for the national coat-of-arms. Agreed is between the two parties to let representitives of the king design a new coat-of-arms and parliament approve it. The use of force has also resulted in the kings' brother being installed as the new Minister of Defence. The balance of power thus shifts clearly in favour of the Royals
EL Capital, 28th December Rumour has it that our country will not only change its coat-of-arms in 1999 but also change its name! Within the royal family there is discussion about why our country was named Libertia in the first place. No one seems to know why ! HM the King proposes to give the kingdom a new name, to be reveiled next year in HM the kings'Newyearsspeech to (what is left of)parliament. Since the Royals once more simply do as they please, Libertia may not be such a good name anyway, on which note we of the (still) free press wish you all a truly blessed Newyear.
El Capital, 3th of April In a flaming speech at the Royal Palace last night, HM the King condemned Serbia's attitude towards neighbouring countries and peoples, stating Milosevic belonged in a psychiatric hospital, not in a Presidential Palace. The Serbs will, trough their genocide on ethnic Albanians in the region, destroy any credibility that is left in relation to their historical claims on the Kosovo-territorium. The King called for a military intervention on a mass scale, the independence of Montenegro, Kosovo and Vojdvodina, and a continuation of bombardments around the clock untill the bastard gives in.
