By Lawrie Kavanagh
Courier Mail Saturday October 10th 1998
When Cheryl went feral last Saturday night, I said to myself: Lawrie, old boy, what this country desperately needs today is a School for the Rehabilitation of Rotten Losers that we may set kids an example of the old Aussie principle of dignity in defeat, a trait apparently lost on the present generation.
Then this week, as Cheryl's mood softened with each vote gained to that of the sweet girl-next-door, I had to reassess my calculations. I said to myself: Lawrie, old son, what this country needs more than anything is a school for rotten losers that features a crash course in potential female prime ministers not crossing their bridges until they come to them. You rush in like Cheryl and you're likely to go head over heels into a dry creekbed, winding up with scars that will stay with you for the rest of your life.
Your party mates and your supporters don't like being blamed for your failures... well if I was a Dickson resident I wouldn't like being flung in with a bunch of "difficult demographics", as you branded the electorate when casting about for any excuse last Saturday. Sounds like they've got a social disease.
So Cheryl, I'd like to quote you two fine examples of dignity in defeat that will be linchpins in my School for the Rehabilitation of Rotten Losers. I've seen many great examples of people standing tall and proud through adversity and defeat but the two instances that have always struck me came from the great Aussie marathon man, Robert da Castella, and - wait for it - John Howard.
Now, please Cheryl, pay attention and you may learn something. In 1986, one of my boyhood heroes, the great cricketer Colin McCool, died and I regretted never having written to him a fan letter to tell him what an inspiration he had been to me and countless thousands of Aussie kids of the post-war years.
So I decided then and there that if anyone had inspired me to the same degree I would let them know - write them a fan letter, if you wish. I didn't have to wait, because two years earlier I had gained the same respect for de Castella, who stood proud and tall in defeat before the international press after losing the race the world expected, nay, demanded he win: the 1984 Olympic marathon in Los Angeles.
My letter to Deek said in part, "...the performance that really floored me was your humbling strength of character after finishing fifth in the L A Olympics in 1984. You stood tall... you accepted defeat with humility, a steady eye and a strong clear voice when you could have been making excuses and crying with self-pity, You could only hobble into the press conference on bloody feet after the race but what you said there is worth repeating: "I got a few blisters and lost a few toenails but it didn't affect me during the race. I didn't feel it at all. I was just beaten by better men on the day."
"And I don't mind repeating what I wrote from the Los Angeles Olympic press room at the time: "If I never interview Robert de Castella again, I will always remember the post-race conference for having had the honour of being in the same room as a humble giant. There was no hint of self- pity, no excuses, just words of genuine praise for his rivals. You could not have been more proud of the man had he won three gold medals..."
"And Deek, I would like to quote your closing remarks that day and hope that every aspiring athlete young and old, male and female, will read and remember (and politicians too Cheryl): "I am proud of what I achieved today and what I have achieved over the years. No one can take that away from me. I was well prepared and I did my best. I ran myself out and that is all I could do."
Ah sweet, sweet dignity! Are you still there Cheryl? No? Well, others might like to know what impressed me about Howard's dignity in defeat after losing the 1987 election during which his campaign was absolutely scuttled by a ranting, raving Johannes Bjelke-Petersen, who was threatening to start a bushfire that would raze the nation during his infamous Joh-for-PM push.
When Howard said in conceding defeat that night, and the way in which he said it, made me just as proud of Australians as if I were standing next to the great Deek that LA twilight in '84... and I didn't even vote for the man. "We are about to enter our third century as a nation and whatever differences divide us politically, those things that unite as Australians are much greater and more enduring than those that divide us," said Howard steady of voice, head held high.
Later that election night, the man who wrecked Howard's chances with his pathetic grab for national power appeared on TV ranting and raving about the reason for his loss... blaming everyone and everything but himself. You get the picture, Cheryl? So, if you ever find yourself going feral on a Saturday night again, just stop and think of Deek and Howard. Your comrades will be bursting with pride just being able to call you a mate. And you won't need to apologise. All it needs is a little common sense and plain old dignity in defeat. And, please, don't cross your bridges until you come to them.