In this ever more commercial world, everything has tie-in merchandise. The Cycling Thing doesn't, but if it did, this is what it might be like. These albums are not available in any shops....

	This first album contains original songtitles and some you may recognise that seemed appropriate. Contains some rude words 1. Cork to Kerry Team Lard* 2. Dreams The Corrs 3. Only Happy When It Rains Garbage 4. All We Seem To Do (Is F***ing Cycle) Claire The Hair* 5. Yesterday Amanda Lapwood† 6. How's That the audience 7. Hiding In The Trees David Parr and the Zoids* 8. Giving You The Eye Two Cute Irish Singers* 9. One More Game Sh*thead* 10. Ok I Admit It (We Went The Wrong Way) Chris Gillmore* 11. Deeply Dippy Right Said Fred 12. Whenever You Look Around (I'll Be Right There Behind You) Simply Red‡ 13. Cold And Wet In The Middle Of Nowhere Best Looking Cow* 14. Send A Postcard To Your Heart Spawny Tart* 15. The 60 Mile Medley Team Lard featuring Paul James and Chris Gillmore*
	The second album contains original songtitles, old favourites and a man playing a saw. Contains some rude words 1. One Year Older, None The Wiser Team Lard* 2. Miserable Waitress In A Westcountry Town Knife and Fork* 3. Road Rage Catatonia 4. Song for Bath Old Man's Saw* 5. Over The Border (And Back Again) Chris Gillmore* 6. Forest Of Doom Team Lard* 7. Jump, Crash, Pain Fear Of Nothing* 8. Pizza Or Pasta The Deciders* 9. Down The Hill Sprain* 10. You're Tender And You're Tired Manic Street Preachers 11. Mulder and Scully Catatonia 12. Push It Garbage 13. I'd Like An X-Ray Please Paul James* 14. Run Naked Past The Window Sh*thead featuringDavid Parr* 15. Another One Bites The Dust Queen 16. A Pessimist Is Never Disappointed the audience

* Previously unreleased tracks
† Cover version
‡ Simply Red never sang this, I made it up