Confucius says.....
- A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
- A girls best asset is her liability ('lie'ability).
- Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission
grow up to be shiftless bastard.
- Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!!
- Best way to prevent hangover is to stay drunk.
- Boy who diddle little girl do diddly squat.
- Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
- Boy who plays with himself pulls boner.
- Confucius say too fucking much!!!
- Elevator smell different to midget.
- Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
- Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.
- Girl who go to bachelor pad for snack get tit-bit
- Girl who is wallflower at party is dandelion in bed.
- Girl who marry detective must kiss dick.
- Girls should not marry basketball players because they always dribble
before they shoot.
- He who chases cars will soon get exhausted.
- He who eats crackers in bed get crummy sleep.
- He who eats too many jelly beans, farts in living colour!!
- He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
- He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
- He who lives in glass house dresses in basement.
- He who outruns the cheetah is fucking fast on his feet.
- He who refuses to listen is lying.
- He who sniffs coke drowns.
- Hockey player on ice have big stick.
- Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy.
- It take square ass to shit brick.
- Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
- Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole woman
have more!
- Man like baby - want to suck tit all day.
- Man trapped in sewer eat shit and die.
- Man who argue with wife all day get no peace at night.
- Man who date flat-chested girl have good reason to feel low-down.
- Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.
- Man who eat jellybean fart in Technicolor.
- Man who eat pussy do lip service.
- Man who fart in Church sit in own pew.
- Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
- Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.
- Man who fuck ugly dog get howled at.
- Man who gets kicked in testicles left holding the bag.
- Man who go to bed with diarrhea wake up in deep shit.
- Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake with smelly finger.
- Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand.
- Man who kiss girl's behind get crack in face.
- Man who lay maiden in pantry get ass in jam.
- Man who let woman on top is fucking up.
- Man who lifts stones off woman get rocks off.
- Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.
- Man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money.
- Man who masturbate only screwing himself.
- Man who piss into wind get wet.
- Man who pull out too soon get hit in rear end.
- Man who pulls on woman's bra-strap may get bust in mouth.
- Man who put head on Rail Road track to listen for train likely to end
up with splitting headache.
- Man who run behind car get exhausted.
- Man who screws near graveyard is fucking near dead.
- Man who sleeps with old hen finds it's better than pullet.
- Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters into his own hands.
- Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons
- Man who stand on toilet get high on pot.
- Man who take woman on camping trip have one intent.
- Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
- Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
- Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
- Man with one chopstick go hungry.
- Man with tool in woman's mouth, not necessarily a dentist.
- Men who put cream in tart not always bakers!
- Naked man fears no pick pocket.
- Never eat yellow snow.
- Passionate kiss like spider's web - soon lead to undoing of fly.
- Rape impossible. Woman run faster with skirt up than man run with
pants down.
- Schoolboy OK to masturbate as long as it's not against Principal.
- Schoolboy who mess around with school girl during wrong period get
caught red-handed.
- Secretary not permanent until screwed on desk.
- Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk.
- Sex on beach is like American beer - fucking near water.
- Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
- Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!
- The hand that turneth the knob opens the door.
- Virgin with thimble on finger never feel prick.
- Virginity is like a balloon, one prick all gone.
- War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left
- Wash your face in morning neck at night.
- Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
- When in doubt, whip it out.
- When lady says no, she mean maybe. When lady say maybe, she
mean yes. When lady say yes, she no lady
- Wise man never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
- Woman who bake beans and pees in same pot very unsanitary.
- Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.
- Woman who fly air plane up-side down, have big crack up!
- Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock
- Woman who spend much time on bedspring may get offspring.
- Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!
- Woman who wears padded bra, makes mountains out of molehills.
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