School Report Card

The following may help Parents better understand their child/children
school report card.

Satisfactory progress       .......... I can't think of a single
				       interesting thing about him/her.

A born leader               .......... Mafia "Godfather" type.

Easy going                  .......... Bone idle.

Lively nature               .......... Thoroughly disruptive.

Good progress               .......... If you think present work is bad, 
				       you should have seen it a year ago.

A sensitive child           .......... Never stops whining.

Helpful                     .......... Creep.

Reliable                    .......... Grasses on his mates.

Co-operative                .......... Teacher's pet.

Adventurous                 .......... Could break his neck before the year
				       is over.

Has difficulty in forming
stable relationships        .......... I can't stand him/her either.

Self confident              .......... Cheeky little bastard.

Good at contact sports      .......... Thug.

Fond of music               .......... Anything to get out of work.

Suffers from minor ailments .......... Truants regularly.

Friendly                    .......... Never shuts up.

Easily distracted           .......... Hasn't produced a decent piece of
				       work all year.

Works better in a small group ........ Daren't take my eyes off him/her.

Imaginative                 .......... Careless with the truth.

Needs encouragement         .......... Thick as a brick.

Expresses himself clearly   .......... Swears like a trooper.

Keen to do well             .......... Egotistical.

All work is of a high standard ....... Has ambitious middle-class parents.

Does not easily accept authority ..... Potential criminal.

Is easily upset             .......... Spoilt rotten.

Often appears tired         .......... Stays up until all hours watching
				       late movies or's into glue sniffing.

Good at practical activities ......... Illiterate.

A rather solitary child     .......... Has B. O. or nits.

Clever with his hands       .......... Light fingered.

Independent minded          .......... For "independent" read "bloody".

Enjoys extra-curricular activities ... Flogs fags and dope.

Determined                  .......... Completely lacking all scruples.

Inclined to day dream       .......... In one ear and out the other.

A good sense of humor       .......... Teases other kids unmercifully.

Enjoys all P. E. activities .......... Muscle bound moron.

Reads well aloud            .......... In love with his/her own voice.

A quiet child               .......... Lacks self confidence and initiative.

Easily influenced           .......... The class fall guy.

Popular with classmates     .......... Brings in dad's girlie magazines.

A vivid imagination         .......... Never short of an excuse.

An inquisitive mind         .......... Caught playing "Doctors and Nurses".

Forging his way steadily ahead ....... Cheats all the time.

Is dyslexic                 .......... Blind as a bat.

Artistic                    .......... Exponent of graffiti.

Likes to proceed in his own way ...... Mulishly obstinate.

Open to suggestion          .......... No mind of his own.