BenJamminVT: always with you and the scat, dude... when does the feces stop
BenJamminVT: always with the smearing
Winstonian93: stops after the shower
BenJamminVT: oh...well, that's progress, I guess
BenJamminVT: you gotta slowly wean yourself off the fecalphilia
Winstonian93: yea, takes time man
BenJamminVT: work it down from full-body mudslides to occasional turd rollings
Winstonian93: but the mudslides are sooooooo refreshing
BenJamminVT: yeah, I know, man... it's tough at first
BenJamminVT: don't lose hope... a time will come when other things will get you just as wildly horny as fecal matter
Winstonian93: but maybe with the help of friends, i'll be down to just occasional chili dogs
BenJamminVT: like... naked women
BenJamminVT: yeah, we can only hope
BenJamminVT: "Hi, my name is Ryan and I'm a fecalphiliac..."
BenJamminVT: "Hi, Ryan"
Winstonian93: withdrawal is so tough
Winstonian93: don't know if i can do it
BenJamminVT: thus begins the 12-step program of fecal recovery
BenJamminVT: well, the first step is admitting you have a scat problem
BenJamminVT: when you find yourself in the bathroom at work multiple times daily, just trying to squeeze one out so you can smear it on your chest and then put your shirt over it, you know you need help
Winstonian93: but i thought it was normal
Winstonian93: doesn't everyone?
BenJamminVT: I know, man... I know
BenJamminVT: well, consider the looks of utter horror and disgust you get as you walk down the hallways
BenJamminVT: especially when you still have a lil' smidgen o' shit dangling off of your nose or chin
Winstonian93: i think they thought it was just chocolate
Winstonian93: and i had just gotten out of the trash
BenJamminVT: I hope so... but remember, chocolate doesn't smell like feces
Winstonian93: but it tastes like it, well to me and my dogs....
BenJamminVT: yeah, that's another thing you should probably work on too, is the bestiality
Winstonian93: so i should stop putting honey on my penis and have them lick it off while i ejaculate into their fur???
BenJamminVT: as hot as dogsex can be, sometimes you just hafta step back and say to yourself, "Wait a minute, this is just wrong"
Winstonian93: but it's only wrong if you don't enjoy it, right?
BenJamminVT: well, I think a logical first step would be to quit ramming your dogs in the ass, because it just hurts them
Winstonian93: but blood is soooooo lubricating
BenJamminVT: but you BOTH get enjoyment out of the honey lickjobs, so I'd say that's ok
Winstonian93: how about the intentional abdomen fucking of the dogs, i always sew them back up when i'm done, so it's ok right?
BenJamminVT: sure, if they're properly anesthetized
BenJamminVT: but tying them down to the kitchen counter with a muzzle to keep them from biting you is probably animal cruelty
Winstonian93: oh, i just covered their noses with ether and had my way
BenJamminVT: oh, that's acceptable
BenJamminVT: do you shave a spot off their back to ejaculate onto the bare doggy skin? I used to do that before my dog died of unexplained massive internal hemorrhaging
BenJamminVT: I guess I crammed in one too many anal beads
Winstonian93: no, the fur tickling m'balls just turned me on
BenJamminVT: well, good... cuz that way you don't hafta explain the shaved spot to people
BenJamminVT: "Yeahhh, he, uh... had an operation"
BenJamminVT: "Again? In the same spot?"
BenJamminVT: "..... Yes."
Winstonian93: yea, i learned that from my bird
Winstonian93: people just didn't understand
Winstonian93: so i was prepared with the dog sex
BenJamminVT: you know what's awesome? While your anus is still coated with a fresh layer of diarrhea lube, cram a parakeet up there and let it squirm about a bit, and then take it out and watch it try to fly
Winstonian93: i got a lot of pointers out of your newly relased book
BenJamminVT: Yeah, writing that book is the best thing I ever did... besides that luscious golden retriever I did back in '97
BenJamminVT: Parakeets have a really hard time trying to fly when they're covered with sticky human feces
BenJamminVT: their feathers stick together for days
Winstonian93: yea, and it's just hilarious to watch
BenJamminVT: Have you ever tried catsex? The noises those animals make are amazing and arousing
BenJamminVT: and they're sooo tight, you need an extra-sharp kitty butt plug to loosen 'em up a bit before you can really go at it
Winstonian93: ah, how bout just a sharpie?
BenJamminVT: whatever floats yer butt
BenJamminVT: boat
BenJamminVT: no... butt was right
Winstonian93: yes, butt
Winstonian93: do it doggy style..........in da butt
BenJamminVT: hahaha, thanks, George
Winstonian93: so what's the moral of the story? it's ok to fuck ANYthing in da butt
BenJamminVT: bingo
BenJamminVT: and that settles that
Winstonian93: yes