Journal4 June 3rd Please pray for little Jalen and his family. Each of us as parents fears the death of our own child and are saddened greatly at the news of the passing of another mothers little angel. Rest in peace little man. god bless. June 6th Well, i'm well into my summer holidays and spending all this time with Kayleigh is amazing, She's such a little comedian! She's really impressed with her 'Big girl pants' that my mum bought for her. She's trying so hard to use her potty but unfortunately at this stage she has lots of accidents, but we're getting there, and she's very enthusiastic. Gary is on holiday at the moment for a fortnight, but unfortunately some money worries have us a little snappy at each other but we both know that it's just stress and laugh and apologise after...well making up is the best part. He fixed my puter for me, retaping it so that all the crap that was slowing it down and making it too slow to update my site has been wiped off. So i should be able to keep my journals up to date. Darrens confirmation went great, even my big brother turned up, i was glad he came, as even though he's annoyed me by his attitude to his family, i still love and miss him. I've had a few good nights out with my best friend lately and i think i'm beginning to feel better about myself and my body, wheras before i had lost a lot of confidence through my shape changing etc. After we were both chatted up a lot on our night out i began to realise that i hadn't turned into some kind of ogre after all , it just shows you..all you need is a good ego boost. Tomorrow is the day of the UK general elections, it's the first time i will have voted as i was 16 at the last one and my polling card went to the wrong place at the scottish elections, so i'm feeling all grown up, lol. Well must go, i'll come back..i know i've missed out loads. cya. June 13th We've been doing some cleaning up around the house and it's amazing all the little jobs that get forgotten when you have a wee baby around the house. Talking about wee babys, kay is almost a 'tweenie' she's no baby anymore...almost 2, i can hardly believe it! It's soo good to have Gary around..4 more days before he goes back to work. i've been laughing my butt of at Kay lately as she's really hilarious now that she can string some near sentences together, today she said quite matter of factly to Gary ( who was eating some chocolate animals) ' I want sweeties!) She's so amazing right now! We had to re budget our money as we've come to the conclusion that we have been completely mismanaging our money, we realised that we should have a lot more spare to spend than we actually end up with, after our bills are paid, so hopefully this new budget will make a good difference. I don't know if anyones noticed but the whole fake sites thing has started up again with everyone accusing everyone else of being a fake, it just takes one person to be lying and then everyone suspects everyone else! It's such a shame, especially when the whole point of our sites is to support other young mothers and mothers to be in their sometimes difficult journeys. As there has been some awful losses on the net recently i have finally decided to tell my story of our painful pregnancy loss in detail in hope that it will help somebody else. I also feel that i can speak of it now that i have been blessed by god so much by Kay, although it is still painful, Anyway on a brighter note, i've been enjoying making some graphics on paint shop pro..it's so much fun.lol. If anyone can give me some tips i'd be grateful. you can see some of my efforts both on this site and on my graphics site. well i'm enjoying my wee bottle of wine that gaz bought for me so i'm signing off, catch you later.love maz. June 14th. Well writing my story on my pregnancy loss has been very therapeutic. I'm glad i did. Today i went to a mass at my old secondary school, where my lil bro is going after the holidays. I met my old head techer and showed Kay off, i was proud to have Kay and inform him that i was at university. I also met my primary school teacher which was quite funny. Kayleigh was as good as gold singing and clapping to the hymns. My lucky little brother is going to England for the weekend with the school, to scarborough...Which i LOVE. He's really exited..I wish i was going too! Well a short entry today but i'll write again soon..love maz.