Amy Caitlin Our angel in heaven In February of 1998 i met my soul mate Gary. By June 1998 i found out that i was almost 4 months pregnant, we were scared and anxious, we both cried in each others arms but soon discovered that together we could make it alright. Gary had a steady job and i'd done well enough at school to go to university. Our baby would be well looked after and we had a wide support network of family and friends. We began to look forward to the eminent arrival of our child, picking names and talking of the future. My parents were none too pleased that Gary had 'impregnated me' so to speak, while i had still been at school, although technically as i was over the age of consent he had done nothing legally wrong. He as two years my senior though, was expected to be the 'responsible one'...but from day one we found it hard to be apart let alone keep our hands off of one another. Of course as young lovers our birth control methods were erratic and haphazard, and pregnancy was the result. We looked forward to seeing our baby at our first scan with a sense of excitement and joy, Gary frequently touched my tummy amazed at the life that was evolving inside me, and when the scan date arrived, Gary, my friend Angela and i set off for Glasgow royal maternity hospital with laughter and smiles. It's funny but i remember clearly things such as the track suit i was wearing, and a girl i'd gone to school with who i met in the waiting room, although these details are insignificant, it highlights the effect that this day had on my mind. As my name was called, we trooped into the room and giggled as the nurse smeared cold gel onto my tummy. We watched the screen with eager anticipation as she pointed out the babys heart beat. Then stared at the screen, face untelling and indifferent. My heart sank and I knew, just by the dreadful silence that something was wrong, something awful that she wouldn't say and i felt my face burning up while my heart went cold, i looked for a reassuring look from Gary or Angela, but only saw the same feeling of dread as myself express itself upon their face. We were asked to go upstairs to another scanner, she told us she was having trouble seeing babys head and that they had a superior scanning machine in another departemant, and so we tearfully made our way upstairs. In the upstairs room we were introduced to a consultant who went through the scanning process again, finally asking me to go and empty my bladder again, when i returned angela had been asked to leave the room and garys face was transparently white, he held my hand as she uttered the dreadful, and tactless in my opinion words ' Your baby is not normal'. Nausea swept over me as i realised what she was saying, I cried uncontrollably as she explained that our baby had a fluid cyst around the neck which was causing pressure upon her brain. She offered me an amniocentisis, to disclose wether she had a chromosomal problem or she could arrange a termination. I chose the amnio. I was shaking in the waiting room as my mum arrived to comfort me, Angela was weeping, as we looked out the window i remember seeing a single magpie and thinking ' One for sorrow'. and i prayed to god that my baby was alright. They arranged an amniocentisis there and then and becuse they couldn't get enough fluid they also performed a cordiocentisis, where they inserted a needle into the umblical cord. I was sent home to await the result. The days passed in a blur of crying on Garys shoulder and praying to god. I remember lying with my eyes closed exhausted from crying, and hearing Gary who'd been so strong for my break down crying, his heart breaking just like mine. When i arrived at hospital they performed another scan and told me that my baby had died. I suppose deep down i already knew this, she hadn't been kicking, and i had hoped that it was not so.. The results of the tests showed that She had Turners syndrome, meaning that she only had one chromosome..an X chromosome which meant that she was a girl. The ironic thing is that Children with TS can lead normal lives as is testified in TS sites on the web. I was given an appointment to come into hospital to induce her birth, and we decided to name her 'Amy Caitlin' meaning beloved girl. On August 2nd 1998 , i was given a small private room, They induced me with a pessary and shortly i began to double over with pain, I was given an injection of a strong painkiller, as there was no danger to a dead baby i was given as much pain relief as i needed. The midwife told me that they wouldn't advise seeing my baby, through the drugs, i agreed. I gave birth to my angels body, and she was taken away, too young for me even to bury. I went home with an empty womb and aching heart, i will never forget my dear darling Amy Caitlin who i carried under my heart and who took a piece of my heart with her. God bless My angel in heaven.