It's so amazing how what someone said to me in passing when we were in the 8th grade still offers me food for thought. It's the reason i used to fight with my hairdresser every month. i met her recently and she probably doesn't even remember that conversation we had about hair.
She (my 8th grade acquaintance)was very anti straightening of kinky hair temporarily and permanently. She claimed that it was an attempt by blacks to conform to definitions of beauty established by white people. That surprised me. I had always straightened my hair to make it easier to manage and because i thought it looked better. But once she said that- I thought to myself- she might have a point. So i have never permed my hair. Every time i went to get a press n' curl the hairdresser would say "girl you need to perm this junk. it's too wild and it's too hard to comb. it'll be easier to manage." My response to her "No." Eventually i stopped going to visit her because she wouldn't stop asking me. I only went to her all those years because her store is less than a block from my house.
The other day i wanted to get my hair pressed. This made me think about girls who go to the hair dresser almost fewevery week. In a year the total of their trips to the hairdresser- $2000. That excludes hair maintainence products like shampoo, conditioners, oils... That led to wandering about makeup.
i think it's a conspiracy. We have all these magazines telling us that we need to weigh a desired amount, which can be accomplished by eating food A & B which are only availble at Store 12. Then we need to make our face look like Cindy's by Shopping the stores she shops at. Then we need to dress like tyra by shopping at and wearing- . Finally we should eat at such and such restarant because it's the cool thing to do. Forget the fact that you're paying $20 for a cupcake.
In my attempt to rebel against all these financial suggestions i try to avoid supporting the cosmetic industry all together. It is so easy to fall into their trap. I want to look nice, but i refuse to worry about it 24-7. There are so many other things to be insecure about so let me just kick that one to curb- because it's too expensive to nurse.
I've lived in Los Angeles for over 10 years and i've never been to Hollywood. i mean i've rode the bus down sunset bl but i've never gotten off and walked around. Anyhow, someone from overseas has been staying with my family and really wanted to see hollywood. So we went down there on Saturday. My attitude was, i'm glad i went so now i know (instead of just thinking) that there is nothing of interest to me there. the only thing that i found highly amusing was that since i was wearing Nigerian attire a lot of people presumed i was a foreigner. So their tone and mannerisms totally changed. I guess it seemed a little condescending because i already knew everything they were telling me but they actually weren't. they were just being helpful.
I would say that about 8-10 people have lived with my family since we've been in these United States. Of those people only one was a relative. The remaining were strangers who were down on their luck and my father happened to get wind of their story and offered them a place to say. Most of them have been females which meant that i had to share my bed with them. That's why i had no fears about going off to college and living with a roommate i didn't know. I thought nobody can be worse than the people i've had to live with. this one lady was the vain woman i have ever met. It didn't help that everyone that met her immediately complemented her beauty. what this meant for me was that i was locked out of my room for 2 hours daily as she worked on her "beauty" routine. Anyhow this willingness of my parents to accept strangers seems like a result of their Nigerian hospitality culture. Cuz it's hard for me to imagine the typical American opening their homes to a perfect stranger. the average stay of our "guests" is 1 year. But then again i know some Americans who are perfectly willing to host perfect strangers. It just seems more uncommon.
One thing that annoys me slightly is foreigners who bash America. I'll be the first to admit that America is not perfect. Yet, it is in poor taste to complain about everything. One day i got fed up with someone who was doing it, and said "You can always go back to where you came from, since America is so bad". and that stopped their ranting for a few minutes. I think it's ok to make observations about American life but incessant complaining about the US and its people gets a little old after awhile. i guess i'm of the belief that you don't have the right to criticize someone's house unless you're a member of the house. As a guest you don't have that privilege unless your opinion is solicited or you are doing it and helping to solve the problem.