THIS IS MY DISCLAIMER: THIS PAGE IS JUST FOR ME TO SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE I CAN PISS OFF, SO IF I PISSED YOU OFF,IM HAPPY. PLEASE SEND ME LOTS OF HATE-MAIL JUST SO I KNOW IT IS WORKING, THANK YOU.(THIS PAGE ISNT SUPPOSE TO BE THAT SERIOUS EITHER) Okay I just have to say right here right now. My girlfriend better NEVER wear velvet undwear when she wants to do ANYTHING PHYSCIAL! We would get as far as her underwear and thats it. I would spend the rest of the time just feeling it. I mean there is just something about velvet that makes you just want to rub it forever. I dont know, maybe it's just me...I might have a velvet fettish. All I know is that I just have to rub velvet. I've even seen strangers in the mall wearing it and I came up and just started to rub it, now granted it a very FINE girl that was wearing..but thats not the point. Okay, the inspiration for this bit came from work. Actually almost all of them come from my work place. I bet you're glad you dont work there. Well anywayz, enough about my pathetic life, you just want to read my pathetic idea huh... I was discussing with my friend (who happens to be female...and YES! I DO HAVE FRIENDS), and we got into an agruement about who had it rougher...men or women. Well of course I said men had it just as rough as women, if not more. Now I know all you women out there are getting offended, at least I hope you are, if not I'll try harder. But hear me out. Okay granted, you females have periods. I use that term cause I cannot spell worth shit and can't use menstrual cycle...oh wait! damn...that excuse is no good now..shit. Okay, okay, I'm just lazy and period was shorter. That and I dont give a damn about being politically correct. The point being you guys have periods and you have babies (although I don't see why you would want to bring a demon child into this world, but thats a differnt opionin). Yes those are painful, but hear my reasons why men have it just as rough. Women have it nice because they can get up and leave anytime they want. If your in school, you can just get up and leave when the bell rings. Guys on the other hand cannot. You see, sometimes when a guy becomes bored..."Mr.Happy" decides to stretch. Now you think no big deal, but a mans luck (or at least mine) is that you cannot get it to go back to "sleep" again before the bell rings. So here you are, with a book in you lap, everybody else is leaving, and the teacher is staring at you. Do you women have ANY idea what is like to ask a teacher if you can sit in on the next class? Or worse yet, if the teacher calls you up to the front while you have your "popeye" stretching. No I dont think so. Also, You women complain about all your shit like cramps. But I NEVER hear you bragging about what you should be. Hell! I know if I could have multiple orgasm's I would be telling EVERY FRIGGIN PERSON I EVER MET! I mean whats wrong with you. Thats like the greatest gift and I dont see you throwing it in guys faces'. Why the hell not?!? Okay, I know its been awhile but I'm back. I haven't been recieving enough hate mail so I decided to write about something that ought to piss alot of people off. Handicapped parking. It is my opinion that these people should have to start parking in the back. 10 years ago I would not have said this but now I am, and for this reason. Handicapped people get to drive around in miniture go-karts all day, they can take it in the store. So why shouldn't they park thier ass at the back of the parking lot and drive thier tiny car to the door. I think people who actually have to walk should get the closest parking spaces. I'm not saying handicapped people should get the very back though. Noooo....the peopel who should get the very back are the fat...oops...thats not very "PC" is it.. I ment to say, the volume blessed....or I could have said overly healthy...no wait..they aren't healthy if they are fat huh. Damnit..I called the fat people fat again. Shit....I keep doing that. Anyways the point being is that the fat people need the very back parking spaces to help work off some of thier abundant muscle in reserve. Now, I'm not saying that fat people are bad, but I think its a stupid idea when they say, "I am who I am, why cant you accept that?" I mean common...all I have to say is ...BULLSHIT! If I never took a shower would you accept me? Well I think I've offended enough people for a bit..so till later.... Okay here was the 50 million dollar question on my mind today...."Why are most of the people who use AOL Instant Messanger so abundantly stupid?" I received an IM from a person becuase she found that I had spelled likes as lik in my profile...and then proceded to berate my web site...to which she admitted that she never actually read, proving her intelligence by saying the great and wonderfully enlightening phrase..."IT SUCKS." Well thank you! You surely are a true master of the obvious. You know, I just love it when people point out stuff that I already knew as a fact along time ago. Plus she judged my intelligence by my spelling. She wasnt wrong..I am pretty stupid, but I figure that it is just because living around red necks reduces brain cells. Its worse then smoking..but that is an entirely different article. The point of this one is, if you are going to mock some one and call them stupid, at least think of a better phrase then a 13 year old could come up with. ARGGGG!!!! Women piss me off so much some times. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that "men" do it alot too. But at least I what our problem is. We, as in the male sex, are...ASSHOLES! We are suppose to be an asshole. Seriously, men if a women ever asks you why you are being insensetive or a jerk, just respond by, "Sorry, I'm just an asshole." She will NEVER argue. women know we are...so guys stop denying it and let it work to your advantage. Anyways, the point I was making was how women are so illogical most of the time. And dont write me shit about how women aren't. It's a proven fact that, in general, the guys logical side of the brain is a little bit bigger then a females where as a females emotional side of thier brain is bigger then a males. In my opinion one of the most illogical statements a women can make is, "Well, you should know." Yeah, I can see every guy who is reading this nodding his head in agreement. At least he is if his significant other isnt standing over him. Usually that statment refers to when a man fucks up big time and the women is obviosly pissed and a guy is stupid enough to ask..."Whats wrong honey, you seem slightly upset." Then comes the every wonderful statement..."Well, you should know." WHY!!!! Do you really think that if a guy is dating your or married to you that he is purposly going to get you pissed at him. He has moved on from masterbation to something better hopefully. He does not want to have to resort to using his hand again. And thus if he has not pissed you off on purpose do you really expect a dim witted, asshole to figure out something as complex as that. Thats like looking at a three year old and say, hey figure out my taxes. Hell, I haven't even figured out taxes yet and I'm 20 friggin years old. So women, please, in the future, try to use a little more logic then you have been. -->TIME FOR PAGE TWO<-- SEND HATE MAIL TO: pharmakea@yahoo.com