A few of my friends recently started to talk about SNL... especially Jack Handy's deep thoughts. I haven't watched much of SNL since I was little, and so I didn't really understand or appreciate Jack Handy until recently.... here are a few of the more deep ones...

• One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
• I bet when the neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.
• Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
• The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
• Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.
• I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

A few of my own (maybe more pet peeves)...

Don't you hate it when people answer a question or start a statement starting off with "honestly?" I don't get it... it's not like I want to hear a lie.

One of the most misused words of the English language is "ironic." Whenver people try to sound overly sophisticated and intelligent, they tend to use that word and make their statement or argument more intelligent, and so many times I sit there thinking, "No... it's not ironic at all... maybe a coincidence, but it is not ironic." The song "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette doesn't really have anything ironic in it at all. Almost all the scenarios that she portrays aren't ironic, but are umm.... bummers. So instead of her singing, "isn't it ironic," she should sing "isn't it a bummer." Now what would be ironic is if she deliberately titled the song "ironic" knowing full well that there's no irony in there at all. :p

What's with the word "same difference?" Shouldn't it be "same thing?" But people use them interchangeably. Similarly, the phrase "near miss" is wrong too. If two cars almost hit one another, shouldn't it be a "near hit?" If it's a near miss, then they would've hit each other. Jason Jeong... please understand this... ahhhh... frustration.

When you try to give a birthday cake to a friend at a restaurant, make sure to light the candles in the kitchen of the restaurant or a bathroom. I lit all the candles inside my car and tried to bring the cake in. Immediatley, a few candles went out b/c of the wind, and it took me forever to walk into the restaurant because I had walk backwards to use my body as a wind breaker. Someone said to me in the parking lot, "You should've let the employees light the cake inside the kitchen." Yeah, that would've been the smart thing to do.