The Story of The Wall (aka Hank's wall of funniness)
By Hank Green
Well the short version is the classic "one day, in hank's room, sumthin funny happened". However there's a little more to it than that. The wall is a collection of really funny things that happen to my friends. Things that make us laugh really hard. And then that day the things happen I go home and write them on the wall. Most of the wall quotes are inside Jokes, and you won't think them funny at all if you don't go to eckerd college, and live in prasch gershwin or benedict. There are a few exceptions of course. Katherine's mom made it to the wall when she threatened to put Katherine's dad in a nursing home. And katherine's good friend rory got on wtih his wonderfull freudian slip...ery. Yes and also you might discover every once in a while a comandment. These are rules to live your life by. Every time we come across one of these morals containing the necessary wit they become a comandment. We started at 12 and we're all the way down to six I think, but there is no 10, and we forgot what 8 was. So we've got six of 'em. So without further ado, enjoy it, if you can.
THE WALL
Click here for explainations of all of these things
Part 1 Part 2
1. Well aimed squirt--Em. 11-11
2. "Empirical Thor" (unknown 1998) — Katherine when tired in chemistry
3. 11th commandment. Thou shalt not say dood, quite so much.9-21
4. Commandment # 12 thou shalt not bite to hurt 9-21
5. Give Fred life 9-21
6. This penis fine 9-21
8. Hairy food 9-22
9. My wang is smooth -derek 9-23
10. Oh God...have some cheese 11-?
11. Where's macao 1-6-99
12. Bidi bittah
13. Daked 10-15
14. Lick my humongous corybungus fungus with your toungus -Garvin 1- 23-99
15. Carrot pee 9-22
16. Commandment #6 Thou shalt NOT "have some fun" in the library
17. When thou dost pedal slurpee type drinks thou wilst provide scoopy straws for thine consumer...commandment 7
18. Its a scoopy straw
19. Let me see your body — Chris to bridgett (concerning her paper)
20. Dood |||| |||| |||| |||| ||| — bridget
21. Katherine 9-21
22. Freudian slip-ery rory 10-12
23. I'm dribbling her 10-2
24. Its the thing that holds the pencil on the wall. It says "One day in my room .......somethin funny happened. Smile !!!
25. The pencil with a present for an eraser that Maria gave me for christmas
26. Whats the scariest sound in the world? The sound of an approaching chris
27. The original 9-21 Hank
28. Putilizer —T
29. |
30. We were just starin at yr chest. H D to Bridgett 9-21
31. Bubbly pop tarts --Evan 10-2
32. There is entirely too much butt sex goin on here
33. 9/21 "Whats percent error Hank" --Katherine "poop?" --Hank "Honey noooo" --Katherine (as possesed by Garvin)
34. Throw it away
35. The chiquita banana bameal (Chris' truck)
36.
37. Migel 9-21
38. Dont touch ME !! 10-25
39. You want me to itch my wang? Derek to Bridgett 9-23
40. Oink Oink Oink jeanie (unknown)
41. |
42. BILLION maria
43. Katherine Court ----------New Filford Ct.
44. H-"can I be your asprin" K-"Does that mean I'd have to swallow you" H-"No it means you'd have to take me"
45. H-"I'm gonna eat you" K-"I'm gonna season you"
46. Lao Tsu Pooped too — 10-26
47. Sarcastic Orgasm — Beverly 1-23-99
48. Commandment #9 thou shalt not waste taco bell (lest thou be struck down in the prime of thine life and forced to lick the stinky feat of sweaty people.)
49. I'm Mrs. Nesbitt (Drunken katherine)
50. Lets go get some LSD and sniff old people. 10-2
51. Bug #2, dood this one was bloody
52. "Hank, why do they call them navy beans?" --Katherine "Cause they taste like seamen" — Hank
53. I was just readin somethin and it made my brain stop 10-25
54. Derek, why are you so cool -bridgett "whats my name?" -Derek
55. Would you like sundays on your nut 1-12
56. I'm four and he's a horny rooster 1-17-99
57. Bug #4 10-8
58. 5 of my ex-husbands are dead
59. Uncle poopy farted in my mouth 1-13-99
60. 1 handed nooky
61. I would pleasure her orally for an A in that class (katherine shakes her head up and down emphatically as if to say "Oh hell yeah me too!"
62. Maybe I got stuck in time, did ya ever think of that --Mikey
63. Inverted hicky 9-28
64. H— "you're in my shirt!" K— "So what" H— "SO AM I!!"
65. Limp willy 1-12
66. Jilly bo bob 1-10 -katherine
67. Dood, there's blood on your window.......Thats all 10-16
68. Sidecock Katherine 3-19
69. Up Up down down left right left right A B B A select start. Katherine, Hank, and Francisco.
70. Basketball lint (it was taped on the wall) Katherin, 2-25
71. I'm covered in blood lying next to to dead girls, NOT AGAIN
72. Drunken squirrells
73. Ooooo, the Yankies, they are so kyoot, I just want to squeze their buts, and jump on their penis'
74. Em-I want to make love on that rug. Hank-I want to make love with that rug.
75. Crotchal area
76. Billie Jean ain't Garvin's lover
77. The light saber was half way to my brain before I felt anything. Eric