Where does
one begin when life is all downhill, one's health is
failing and getting worse, and one has just been
diagnosed with another illness that threatens to
strike her down and make her an invalid?
I was
diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction
Syndrome, or CFIDS, in 1991.
Debilitating as that disease often is, I felt very
fortunate to be able to function and work....until
finally I was taking vacation days as sick days and
ran out of all paid days off altogether. So I took
time off to care for my mother who was
dying....sounds silly for someone already ill and
barely able to care for herself, possibly, but it was
something I felt compelled to do, for my mother had
always been there for me throughout my life and I
loved her very dearly. When mom died on February 16,
1993, I took an educational leave of absence and went
back to school to work on my BA degree, thinking I
could handle school even when I was ill....and I was
right--at least for the first 2 years. Then I was
diagnosed with fibromyalgia, or FMS, in early 1995....I
had *severe* muscle pain and cramps all over my body
constantly--and insomnia so bad that I rarely ever
slept, often staying up 3-5 days at a time without
any sleep (which exacerbated my illness, but I had no
CLUE what to do--especially since I was one of the
poor who had no decent medical coverage and couldn't
afford a doctor, much less a specialist for my
problems.) My home-life was the cause of my insomnia,
but I won't go into that here...those closest to me
know the story, and those who don't wouldn't really
want to know. I had learned of IRC and the chat
channels in November, 1995....and when I was
diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I turned to them in
desperation--they became my 'social life' because I
could, in fact, no longer go much of anywhere due to
illness and memory lapses. I found quite a few
not-so-desirable leeches on the chat channels, but in
February 1996 I stumbled upon a channel called
#wildchat, and my adventure into chatland began. At
first my nick was SexiLadi...but you can *imagine*
what kind of scum found me with THAT nickname.
However, one of the best things in my life came out
of that channel....I met one the dearest, sweetest,
kindest, funniest, most intelligent & *wonderful*
people I have ever known: