Greetings from Massachusetts,
My mother was under the misconception that I lived in the bright lights and big city. Perhaps you, too, believe that I live in Boston. Let me set the record straight. I live in the country. But, it's not God's country. For, you see, I live in Massachusetts. God's country is 2 miles away, in New Hampshire.
How far away from Boston am I? Distance-wise, I live the equivalent of 45 minutes away from Buffalo. In this area, this translates to 2 hours away from Boston, 1 and 1/2 hours, if you're lucky. Tyngsboro, the village I live in borders the Merrimack river and several lakes. It's quite rustic, though there aren't that many farms in the area. However, it's still not good enough to be considered God's country.
In God's country (New Hampshire) there is no income tax. There is no sales tax. You can buy wine (real wine, not that Chateau Diana stuff) in the supermarkets, along with beer and wine coolers. In God's country, you can purchase cigarettes at lower prices (just like on the Res). Automobile insurance is not required (no joke!). In God's country you can buy liquor and wine with no sales tax! At discounted prices! In state-owned, state-run liquor stores! On Sundays!
The village I live in is quaint with one historical society, two private kids' schools and with three dance schools for parents who aspire to have their 7-year-olds become little ballet/tap/jazz-tap dancers. However, I have discovered the ear in the grass-- Tyngsboro is Sin Central.
The zoning board has made the parcels of land just north of the roller/ice skating rink, just south of the miniature golf/batting range/ice cream stand, just east of the Family Bank and one of the aforementioned dance schools, just one mile north of my apartment, they have zoned it for adult business. From miles around they come to partake of our rustic, small-town charm at the three local strip clubs. Full nudity is featured, though there is an arcane state law which requires a 3-foot buffer from the dancers. (FYI, in God's country only topless clubs are allowed.)
(A quick aside. Back when I was attending Foolish U., one of my fellow students (also a psych major) put herself through college by dancing at the Foxy Lady, on Chalkstone Avenue (in Rhode Island there is true sin, with no 3-foot buffer zone). She then wrote a tell-tale book where she accused Foolish U.'s stingy financial aid policies of forcing her into the necessity of cat dancing to pay for tuition. Are there any UB students working in the Royal Canadian Ballet Company to pay for the Comprehensive Fee increase?)
SEPTEMBER 22, 2000 IS THE DEADLINE TO SUBMIT RESUMES FOR ON-CAMPUS INTERVIEWS WITH THE FOLLOWING COMPANIES. GO TO THE CAREER PLANNING WEB SITE TO APPLY:
Job seekers, interview season has started. 1) Prepare the third, and final, draft of your resume. 2) Print out a copy of your resume. 3) Have someone else proof your resume for typos. 4) Put on your interview suit and take a Hudson start. (In "Call of the Wild" times, there were people who were going to travel to Alaska by dog sled starting from, say Buffalo. The trip from Buffalo to Alaska is pretty harsh, and if you screw up you die. So, on the first day travelers would set out early in the morning with their packs and their dogs and their sleds, and they would travel only one or two miles that day to, say Tonawanda, and then set up camp. The idea was that you would use that first day as a trial run to make sure that you didn't forget any crucial equipment. If you discovered that you were missing something important, say tent spikes, you could easily return to Buffalo instead of dying miles away in the wilds of St. Catharines. This was called a "Hudson start".) Anyway, make sure you have all the clothing and accessories you need for the upcoming job fair. Wear your interview clothes to class to get used to them. 5) Do you have clothing to protect your interview suit from the elements? 6) Get a haircut. Do it this week so your hair will look good at the job fair. 7) Have you spoken with Melissa Ruggiero at the Career Planning and Placement office yet? If not, call and set up an appointment to discuss your career search plans.
It's a busy month...
Here are job ads found in the Sunday Boston Globe. I've selected some of more prominent and/or amusing ads:
I'm still trying to find time to cull good ads from last week's "Big Help" section. In the meantime here's this week's ads:
Tvisions claims "We're a premiere, pre-IPO web development company. We develop the most innovative web solutions in the world. ... We've actually made money for the past six years." They are based in Watertown.
Mirror Image's (mirror-image.com) advertisement contains the following words and phrases, "money, get mega-rich, get mega-rich quick, 'the first Internet accelerator that addresses all the key speed-of-light constraints.' (a quote by George Gilder), guys you envy, we're loaded, your bank account, your island's waiting".
Foliage Software Systems (foliage.com) has a big ad which doesn't really catch my interest.
Rational Software (rational.com) has an ad in the paper, and they have been advertising on the radio. The company "helps organizations develop and deploy software for e-business, e-infrastructure, and e-devices". Unfortunately, they prefer that you send your resume in Word format.
Simpatix (sympatix.com) says "Join a dot com start up! A dynamic new 'dot com' with a difference." According to their ad, fringe benefits include free breakfast and lunch daily. Their main product seems to be timeto.com.
Remember those S&H Green Stamps that your mom used to collect at the supermarket? Well, S&H Green Stamps has gone e-business. They are now S&H greenpoints (greenpoints.com). Boston, New York, and Hotlanta.
Integral Access (integralaccess.com) writes, "Pocket Protector Optional-- Mouth Guard Mandatory. This is not your typical Engineering Department. At Integral Access, the only thing more intense than the technology we develop is the ice hockey that we regularly engage in to maintain our competitive edge."
At Speedline Technologies' (speedlinetechnologies.com) open house in Franklin, "two New England Patriots football players will be on-site to sign autographs. ... Only job applicants will be eligible to receive autographs."
Burstmedia.com is advertising on WBZ.
Q: Mallika from Buffalo asks, "You have said that Sept 15th is the last date for certain companies. How do I apply to them? Go directly to their web-site and post my resume?" Greg from Buffalo asks, "You mention deadlines to submit resumes for interviews with several companies. Where and how do we submit our resumes?"
A: On-campus interviews are run by the Career Planning and Placement (CPP) office in Capen Hall. To sign up for these interviews you must: 1) register to use CPP's Online Career Office (OCO). 2) Upload your resume to the OCO web site. 3) Find companies on the OCO web site and submit your resume. 4) If the company selects you for an interview, you'll get email. See http://www.ub-careers.buffalo.edu for more details, or stop by the CPP office.
If you have any questions about academics, job hunting, or the Boston area, please email me at ( bfan2 "at symbol" yahoo "dot symbol" com ) and I'll try to answer them.
Until next time,
Ben