Greetings from Massachusetts,
I have just learned that one of my dear friends, a bright, young University at Buffalo computer science student (whom I will refer to as "Milo"), is currently interviewing with an evil software company based in the northwest (which I will refer to as "NURV"). Therefore, I feel obligated to devote this edition to warn him and possibly to keep Milo from making a mistake (working for NURV) which might threaten his very life (and my life). To that end, this weekend I went to see the movie "AntiTrust" which deals with exactly this same subject.
First, about the theater experience itself. There is a great advantage to going to see a movie in its second week of release, especially if the movie sucks as much as "AntiTrust" does. The theater was almost entirely empty, except for a gaggle of teenagers who talked throughout the movie. Normally, this would be unacceptable, but I think that we all knew beforehand that there was no enjoyment to be gotten out of watching the movie itself. In fact, I think that the teenagers chose this movie specifically because they knew that they could safety talk through it. I saw this movie at the General Cinema in Tyngsboro. General Cinema is the theater chain where, before the movie, they show an advertisement for refreshments featuring a box of popcorn who goes out on a date with a cup of Pepsi soda.
In this Letter, I will be revealing the plot of this movie. I feel bad about doing so, partly because all of its plots added together barely add up to one. However, as I've said before my life is at stake. Again, much of what makes this an extremely poor movie is its lack of plot. Things just seem to happen for no apparent reason. The characters perform actions for no apparent reason. It's as if many different scenes were cut from the movie- scenes which would have clarified the plot had they been left in. However, I am not complaining too much because, as I see it, every minute the producers cut from "AntiTrust" is another minute that I have to watch a different, non-sucky movie.
Anyway, "AntiTrust" is about a bright, young computer science student named Milo who gets recruited to a megalithic Portland, Oregon software company named NURV, headed by a egomaniacal, rich geek, played by Tim Robbins. Milo's best friend, a good guy and proponent of open source, gets a job offer with NURV, but he turns down the offer in order to form his own start-up company, developing open source software. In fact, Milo's best friend is such a good guy and excellent programmer that he receives an award from Sun Microsystems' Scott McNealy who makes a brief appearance in the movie (credited as Scott McNealy, playing himself). So, Milo moves to Oregon with his girlfriend, played by Claire Forlani. Everyone in the movie is beautiful (even the computer science students), but since they are all from Stanford (where everyone is beautiful), this is pretty realistic.
Needless to say, NURV is an evil company which, under the direction of its evil leader, uses its monopoly position to destroy other companies. That's not all. They also spy on independent programmers via hidden cameras, steal their code, and kill them to cover up the thefts. In the course of the movie, Milo's best friend is killed by NURV thugs after making a programming breakthrough (involving video compression) which NURV steals. Of course, I watched this part with great alarm. That could very well be me!
Through several unbelievable coincidences in the plot, Milo begins to suspect his malignant nature of his employer. Through a leap through a plot hole, he learns that NURV killed his best friend. He also learns that Claire Forlani is actually a NURV spy, paid to surveil him under the guise of being his girlfriend. My company has pretty good benefits, but company-paid girlfriend is not one of them, to my great disappointment. I knew that I should not have accepted their first offer! This is a lesson that all job-seekers should heed, lest you, too, end up all alone.
The rest of the movie is not very memorable, except Milo's girlfriend tries to kill him with a stupidly blunt plot device. And, there is an attempted sub-plot involving Rachel Leigh Cook, the young woman who smashed up her kitchen in the "this is your brain on drugs" commercial sequel. Oh yeah, there is also a Hollywood-style chase towards the end.
So, "Milo", what should you learn from this movie?
Therefore, I must implore you not to work for NURV. Milo, listen to the wisdom of Hollywood!
If you plan to graduate in May 2001, you must fill out a form to do so by 2001-02-01 (or else you won't graduate!). Apply at the Records and Registration office.
Don't have any job offers yet? Don't worry! At this time last year, I didn't know my future plans, and lots of other people are in the same situation. The important thing is that now is the time to start! There's a full semester of on-campus job interviewing ahead! Now is the time to to make another appointment with Melissa Ruggiero in the Career Planning and Placement office! She will point you in the right direction and tell you the steps you need to take.
Once again, some of the more notable and/or amusing advertisements from previous weeks' Boston Sunday Globe's "Boston Works" section.
Although I do not approve of companies with substantial military business, I do include them in my Letters. Ratheon says, "We will defend the free world together... At Raytheon Electronic Systems, you'll play a key role in the production of advance technology products.... [like] the Exoatmospheric Kill Vehicle, part of our innovative missile defense technology." I will admit that none of the projects that I've worked on sound quite as exciting as a Kill Vehicle. (www.rayjobs.com)
[picture of snowboarder] "Safety Strap Optional. Thinking on the edge mandatory. If you think you know Engineering, think again. Here at Integral Access, the technology is as extreme as the people who develop it. It's a totally fresh environment in which the marriage of amazingly advanced prodcuts and totally focused people creates a completely unique way to work, right at the competitive edge." (www.integralaccess.com)
Cereva has an ad with a picture of four grandmothers in sunglasses and flowered bonnets, the words "Make them proud.", and their web address. (www.cereva.com). I'm not going to bother to figure out exactly what it is that they do.
Habama! (www.habama.com) just completed another round of venture funding. Habama!
Aura Networks says, "Join us in restful, unstressful Nashua, New Hampshire." They do telco stuff and need Java, C, and C++ software engineers. I recently learned that, despite the state-owned liquor stores, in New Hampshire the shops stop selling beer at 11:45pm. I was recently thwarted from purchasing a six-pack of Schaeffers. So, that is two strikes against New Hampshire, formerly known as God's Country. You can't marry your first cousin, and you can't buy beer after 11:45pm. And, (although I haven't confirmed it) you are entirely out of luck if you desperately need to do both late on a Saturday night. (www.auranetinc.com)
ATG has been running ads on WBZ. They are holding recruiting sessions at area ski resorts. They hold a 4-hour happy hour every weekend at a Killington venue called The Pickle Barrel. Check them out at (http://www.atg.com/ski/).
"You're invited to start at the top! Sit down and talk with Tod Loofbourrow [sic], our president and CEO to learn about Authoria first-hand, straight from the top. As part of our pre-invited group, you'll get the inside scoop on how Authoria's business model, development plans, and partner relationships have positioned the company for overwhelming sucess." Their ad includes buzzwords like, Java, EJB, J2EE, and Multi-tier e-business. Their ad concludes with "P.S. Did we mention we have a cappuccino machine?" (www.authoria.com)
From Mirror Image Internet: "Work for the company that's going to revolutionize the Internet as we know it today. (Or, wait to get hired by the slew of copycats that will surely try to follow us.)... Send your resume to jobs[at]mirror-image.com today. Or, you might find yourself sending it to one of our scrambling competitors, tomorrow." (www.mirror-image.com)
[picture of dude in sunglasses] "Giga bites. Tera rules." Does this make you want to read more? "Looking for the coolest technology on the planet? Hang loose with the Avici Terabit Switch Router... our TSR is becoming the envy of the industry. If you want to stop working with inferior technology, lose your dismal career and join the company that's riding the wrecking ball into the old school: Avici Systems." (www.avici.com)
America Online says, "Bring a resume, win a Sony Playstation 2!... Create new online interactive services for a living. Use your C/C++ skills to develop software for our 26 million members worldwide." Yet another career fair draw. (www.aol.com/careers/)
Finally, another outstanding ad from Foliage Software Systems. Foliage has consistently had the best ads that I've seen. "Honestly, right now we don't have one good job opening. In truth, we have more than twelve. Not good jobs, but terrific career opportunities. Whether you're experienced in engineering, marketing, or sales, Foliage is an exciting and stimulating place to work. So much so, in fact, that we have one of the lowest turnover rates in the entire software development industry. People who work at Foliage don't leave. So take a look at the list, see where you fit, and send us your résumé today. It's a great career move for any number of reasons." (www.foliage.com)
+++ If you have any questions about academics, job hunting, or the Boston area, please email me at (bfan2 "at symbol" yahoo "dot symbol" com) and I'll try to answer them.
Until next time,
Ben
P.S. Milo, see if you can get me a job with NURV. If they can offer me relocation expenses, my own office, and a girlfriend, I will immediately hop jobs!