Whether these sites are wacky or downright twisted, this list includes my personal faves, and other useless pursuits that have gotten me through my exam weeks and school vacations.
Please note that the site has been revamped for easier navigation. . .I've reorganized it into types of Useless Sites and expanded to a second page =)
Famous Monkeys List I am continually amazed at the uselessness that abounds on the Web. But it doesn't stop me from encouraging it! This site is a list of "famous monkeys" that is semi-comprehensive, albeit blatantly WRONG about Mighty Joe Young (who first appeared in 1949 Ray Harryhausen flick, not that Disney deal, but who am I to quibble?)
Fieldguide to the North American Male Here's a link to learn everything you ever wanted to know about the dating, mating and behaviorial habits of one of nature's most fascinating creatures: The North American Male. From the time we were toddlers, most women have been mystified by the male animal. This site attempts to explain him. . .a formidable task indeed!
Godzilla vs. Tamagotchi I thought that I'd escaped Godzilla when I left the cable at home. . .then I surfed the web. Luckily, this site makes as much out of the meeting between Tamagotchi and Godzilla as some poor college animator did when Godzilla met Bambi. . .BOOM!. . .crunch
Jumping Jehosaphat Does eveybody remember those "Little Professor", quasi-calculators that came out during the 80's? This is the next best thing. . .enter a simple equation (uh, how 'bout 2+2?) and the cute little Java sheep jumps out the answer for you!
It's more fun than the farm on Cook!!!
Half-A-Cow What's more fun than a barrel of monkeys? Eric the Half-a-Bee. Wait, sorry about that obscurity. This site is like the one before. . . more fun than the farm on Cook!
The Kevin Bacon Game You've heard of "six degrees of separation", right? How about the "six degrees of Kevin Bacon"? At this site, you can link any actor in Hollywood to Kevin Bacon. . .in six moves or less! Strange, but true. . .
Media Dunk Tank Have you had enough of Martin Lawrence? Does Jim Carrey irk you as much as Jenny McCarthy and Rush Limbaugh? Have no fear. If your browser supports JAVA and Shockwave, you can have the exhilirating experience of virtually dunking them in a vat of hydrochloric acid. . .
Isn't America great?
Mr. Showbiz Plastic Surgery Lab Ever wonder what it'd be like if the cast of Friends interbred? Or if you crossed Rosie O'Donnell with Jay Leno? Here's your chance to run them through your personal blender. . .slice and dice!
Putrid Politicians Along the lines of the "Media Dunk Tank", this site offers a chance to "warp" the politicians who shape our lives before they shape our lives.
Comic Book Periodic Table Whoever said that comic books rot your brain didn't know these guys. They have managed to associate every element on the periodic table with a comic book character or episode. Cool.
Furby Autopsy What is a "Furby"? Gizmo on crack?
If you haven't succumbed to "Furby-mania", join us in celebrating the demise and dissection of one of the single most irritating toys to come out on the market since "Baby Loves to Talk". Excellent.
Magic 8 Ball Okay if people could test Twinkies, why not the 8-Ball? Those quirky toys that give us so much glee are finally dissected into their squiggly plastic parts. More fun than a barrel of monkeys. . .
Reverse Speech Remember way back when your parents told you about playing their old Beatles' LP's backwards to hear secret messages ("Turn me on, dead man")??? Or maybe you've done something like it with old heavy metal albums. . .
This entire site is dedicated to the study of what people really mean when they talk. . . such as the ever popular, ever misquoted, Neil Armstrong "It's one small step for a man; one giant leap for mankind" . . .
To hear it backwards, using a RealAudio player, you have to go to this site. . . kind of brings back memories of Mr. Mxylplx . . .or Xlplyxm. . .
The T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. Project Have you ever wondered how much torture a Twinkie can take? These guys did, and they have the photos to prove it!
The Dialectizer Ever wonder what Elmer Fudd would do to your normal, everyday speech? Or how the Pledge of Allegiance would look in jive? This site gives you the chance to find out. For the easily amused. . .like me.
The Klingon Language Institute Okay, so Esperanto flopped big-time, but if you're a "Trekkie", you'll argue that Klingon has more potential to become the lingua franca of the Federation. . .
Then again, maybe you just want to pick up a cool cocktail party trick.
Save the Puns Foundation This site is dedicated to incorrigible punsters everywhere. Still in their budding stages, but with a plethora of puns out there, it's sure to bloom in no time!
Hotmail To keep in touch, what better way than using words? At Hotmail, you are guaranteed FREE e-mail as long as you have access to a web browser. . .very cool.
The Microsoft Lexicon So far in this page, I have condemned Bill Gates as the devil incarnate. . .wait. Wrong Bill. . . ANYHOW, escape that Bill and his escapades to explore the realm of "Microspeak", the unofficial company lingo of Microsoft. Though the Lexicon is not comprehensive, it allows the layman (or journalist, house investigating committee, intern or whoever) to get a peek at the workings of the world. . .where do you want to go today?
Travelang To pick up a traveler's working knowledge of any language, visit this site. . .it's better than those instant Spanish tapes!
The Verbivore One of my favorite incorrigible punsters (or sultans of syntax) is Richard Lederer. This is his web site. . .the Verbivore. . .if you're anything like me, you'll eat it up!
My Other, Less Useless Pages: HOME MY RESUME MY POETRY ABOUT ME COLLEGE SONGS SWDG
