The following is taken from an interview with Dr. S.N. Sox, Dr. of Sockology at Crew University, by Warrin Grey.
Dr. S.N. Sox: Today we will be discussing the origin of socks. As we all know, socks have been around for several hundred years. Originating from the plant Fernfeetius Soxus, many different shapes, styles, and colors have been grown over time with most of the major differences having been grown in the last century.
Warrin: Is there anything about these plants that you would warn potential growers about?
Dr. S.N. Sox: Yes. They somtimes let off a really bad smell if not watered and fed appropriatly.
Warrin: Is it possible to water it too much?
Dr. S.N. Sox: It is. It can become rather limp when it gets wet. It has also been known to change color depending on the variety of plant.
Warrin: I think I had a striped fernfeetius soxus plant when I was younger....grew grey socks with stripes. Would you happen to know the scientific name for such a plant?
Dr. S.N. Sox: This is an interesting plant. There aren't too many around these days. They seem to come and go over time. To get a stripe into a sock, you must infuse the stripidius strain into the plant of your choice. In your case, the stripidius pollen was combined with that of the Heatherus Fernfeetius Soxus to make the interesting offshoot.
Warrin: It seems that the colors have names oftheir own. Is that corect?
Dr. S.N. Sox: It is. For example. The common white sock is derived from the plant: Albino Fernfeetius Soxus. A black sock would be Negus Ferfeetius Soxus.
Warrin: What about those socks that are white, but have grey bottoms, or grey toes and heels?
Dr. S.N. Sox: This is another example of cross pollination. The bees get a little comfused sometimes.
Warrin: Ok. I think I understand the basics. Now what about socks that have logos? Are they added after the plant has been harvested?
Dr. S.N. Sox: This is actually a very rare specimin. It is true that some manufaturers will add their logo to the sock after it is off the plant. These are easilly recognizable as frauds if inspected closely. The plant in this case can only be pollinated in a lab environment due to the necessity of a sterile environment. Outside a lab, you would get logos that would not be at all specific. The original plant was believed to have been discovered in the tropical rainforrest sometime in the early 80's. It's name is the Fernfeetius Soxus Logoium.
Warrin: How about the sock that is taking the country by storm. Probably one of the most popular sock types this year. The ankle sock, also known as the quarter crew.
Dr. S.N. Sox: This would be the Fernfeetius Anklius Soxus. A very common plant as of late due to the latest ElNino weather pattern. From the lack of certain elements over time, this plant became stunted and did not develop into a full grown Fernfeetius Soxus.
Warrin: I see. Well then let's see if I can get the naming right for the kind of socks I most often wear and am wearing right now. These come from the Heatherus Fernfeetius Ankilius Soxus. Is that right?
Dr. S.N. Sox: Yes . You are wearing grey ankle socks that are definately from that plant.
Warrin: Perhaps you could mention very briefly the association between the Soxus plant and that which is responsible for the amount of sneakers in the world today?
Dr. S.N. Sox: That would be the Fernfeetius Sneekus. It goes along with Soxus like pork chops and apple sauce. The Sneakus plant is a varied and complex plant. Some say more complex than the Soxus due to the sheer amount of cross breeding that happens. An example of this would be: Sneekus Nikus and Sneekus Vanus. And then there are all the different styles. Too numerous to mention. here.I think this is best left for another interview. It is a broad and fascinating study. Far too intense to discuss at this time. I do have to get going soon to teach a class.
Warrin: Well thank you Dr. Sox. I would love to talk more on the sneekus plant at a late time.
Dr. S.N. Sox: It would be my pleasure. Now if you'd please excuse me, I must go.
Warrin: Thank you again Dr. Sox. And thank you to the listening audiance for joining us today. From all of us here at Sox Talk - Keep your socks on!
*The preceeding does not reflect the viepoint in any way of Crew University or it's affiliates.