Mist. low, cold, heavy.
Pushing down on my shoulders,
my head bowed.

It engulfs me,
swirling and snaking:
like a chilly caress over
my face.

Fingers that reach inside
and wrap around my heart,
clinching like steel--cold, hard.

I protest not, 
but welcome the distraction;
the cold moves through my being
till I'm numb.
     I feel no pain, no emotion.

From deep within a burning
wells up in my soul,
only to be squelched by the icy void.

I am overwhelemed by the 
chill that consumes me,
unable to break free
in my feeble attempts.

Content with the frigid
emptiness inside,
               I surrender.

A fire starts,
burning with passion and desire,
chasing away the cold.
The mist begins to fade---
afraid of the warmth,
it retreats.

My soul takes comfort
in this renewed emotion,
hungering for the source.

The flames of first love
dance about my heart;
filling my body with 
life and feeling.

The fire that was extinguished
so easily before,
now rages with an intensity
             beyond my grasp.

Lost.  A whirlwind of darkness rages around me,
blocking your face, confusing my spirit.
Thoughts tumble rapidly in my head
of hurts and promises broken.

My heart, an empty shell,
beats meaninglessly.
Spinning wildly, trying to stop
this mental storm rages on.

No one notices this broken child,
pieced together by futile hope.

And still the whirlwind races.
A cry, not from the lips--whose sounds are empty--
but from the heart, the soul.

Overcome by brokeness and misery
I fall on my knees,
only to find your feet.
My soul is blank, I have no words to say,
only tears.

All this motion, all the fruitless deeds;
seeking You, but never opening my eyes.

Face to feet, You reach down,
holding together the pieces of me.
The storm has ceased, and in the stillness you say
Let go.

5-19-01

Glass walls.
Fragile world.
Peering out, but unable
to escape those looking in.
Suffocating my spirit,
this air-tight vessel they put me in.

Dizzy---
Spinning in circles like a child in awe
of the distorted world around them.
Faster and Faster, arms out to balance,
until I fall.

Broken pieces.
Too many to pick up.
Dangerous shards lying around---
reminders of my failures and mistakes.

Outside the box,
I must find me.