CHOOSING THE RIGHT PIPE

Many older folks may find joint rolling impossible for one reason or another but don't despair. Marijuana is smoked in pipes and anybody can stuff pot into a tiny bowl and inhale even at the peak of the arthritis season. The trick is to choose a pipe that's right for you, a pipe appropriate to the occasion. There are only three basic designs and each will convey smoke to your lungs and spread jolts of healing THC into your bloodstream with decidedly pleasant results.

The first looks like the tobacco pipe one commonly sees except that pot pipes have very small bowls and are usually quite small overall. They also have tiny screens that fit inside the bowl to prevent the smoker from drawing fine pot and ashes into his mouth.

Pot pipes are made from wood, plastic, stone, glass, iron, brass and many other materials. They're cheap and expendable. Some have lids that close over the bowl and are ideal for the man/woman on the move. Like rolling papers, pipes come in assorted colors and styles and can be matched for a particular occasion.

Pot pipes fill up with goop in time until the inside looks like an artery almost closed off with plaque and you end up trying to draw smoke through a needle-like opening. Cleaning the pipe is a chore as the goop takes on the consistency of cement and it stinks a good bit, too.

The second pot pipe is the renowned hookah, or water pipe, aka a bong. It's the one pashas are seen smoking in A Thousand and One Nights reruns, except pot smokers use a miniature model. These pipes have a reservoir that holds water and the smoke is drawn through the water en route to the smoker's lungs. Some say the water strains out any undesirable elements but this seems unlikely as I know of no such elements in pot.

In any case, the bong has its shortcomings. For one thing, it's awkward to use and some seniors may find its peculiar shape may cause them to drop the thing and spill bong water all over everything. Bong water is brown and smelly and truly undesirable. It also happens that bong smokers inadvertently inhale bong water now and again and that's another reason to stick to pipes and/or joints.

Finally, there is the hash pipe used for smoking hashish, a potent form of marijuana made by doing unspeakable things to pot flowers and reducing them to small, hard chunks of concentrated pot. One slices off small pieces and smokes them in hash pipes with really tiny bowls. Hash smoke is strong and loaded with THC and will heal almost anything.

Match pipe to occasion and don't forget to inhale.