HOW TO ROLL A PROPER JOINT
Once your stash is assured, buy
rolling papers. You'll find papers in head shops where they sell pot paraphernalia. Choose
papers appropriate to the occasion: white for dressy events; black for formal affairs like
funerals and operas; American flag papers for July Fourth; candy-cane striped ones for
Christmas. You may even hand paint your own papers.
Use one-and-a-quarter inch papers
as the added length produces a longer joint and reduces the number of joints you will need
to roll. This is a good preventative against the perils of the dreaded Carpal Tunnel
Syndrome.
Use two papers. A single paper
joint is weak and effete and subject to breaking easily. There are few things worse than
sorely needing a fat joint to stave off a lumbago attack and find your only joint is
broken and unsmokable. Two papers will double its strength and keep it intact.
Lick one glued edge and stick it on
the unglued edge of the second paper. Fold a 1/4" crease on the unglued edge and put
the pot in the crease. Roll it between fingers and thumbs a la John Wayne, lick the
remaining glued edge, and stick it to the joint.
Lightly twist one end, apply a
match to it, inhale deeply and hold your breath for several seconds. The THC from the pot
will surge through your bloodstream and revitalize your health while a sappy grin slowly
spreads across your face.
If some or all of this isn't clear,
I'll happily answer individual queries on the Art of Rolling Zen Joints. My fee is one fat
joint of quality pot per query.