This page is dedicated to all my friends and former co-workers at 
The store is filled with cool toys (some SLIGHTLY overpriced), fun music, and excellent employees. What exactly makes them so excellent? The fact that they LIKE their job. Who wouldn't? Go to work and play with toys all day? Sure! Well, there's more to it than that, but it really is fun, and everybody has a great time.
So anyways, Jon was the only one who could stand up to the evil cashier Beth. No, we don't call her "Evil Cashier Beth". That would just be stupid. And because Jon was the only one who could resist Beth, he was the only one with any lunch money. But Jon's a pretty nice guy, so sometimes he'd let us have some of his lunch. You know, like the salt off his pretzel or something. He's a really generous guy. But even if he didn't get enough to share, he'd still let us sit around and watch him eat.
One day, I got really brave and decided to ask Jon why he wasn't afraid of Beth. "Well," he told me, "Believe it or not Grasshopper (He liked to call all of us Grasshopper), I used to be afraid of Beth too, until I went and talk to the wise and powerful ACE. He taught me everything I know." 
That is, until Beth* beats the crap out of you in the back room. Yeah, Beth had a bad habit of beating up the other employees for their lunch money. We were all pretty scared of her.
Everyone...except for Jon. 
Jon wasn't afraid of anything...well, except thirteen year old Sunshine Girls. Those scare him alot, but otherwise...well, okay, he was kind of scared of mice, too, but only really big ones. Other than that, he was fearless. He was our fearless leader. That's what we call him, "Fearless Leader Jon". Sometimes he lets us call him just "Jon" for short, but it's usually "Fearless Leader Jon". He likes it a lot better.
"Who is ACE?" I asked. Then Jon opened up his wallet and showed me a picture:
"This is the wise and powerful ACE. He is the only human who has ever been brave enough to have his picture taken with Beth."
I stared in awe at the picture. "If you want to be free or your fear, you must go in search of the ACE," he told me, and then told me to get back to work. He can do that because he's an assistant manager.
As soon as I left Jon, I quickly found Shawn 
hiding in the back room behind some boxes. I told him what Jon had told me. We decided then and there that tomorrow we were taking a sick day to go in search of ACE.
Well, we didn't have to search long. We found the ACE at the front of the store, actually WORKING with Beth. We were amazed and immediately stricken with fear, not because he was working with Beth, but simply because he was WORKING. Such a wise and powerful being should not working; he should be levitating at the top of a mountain or something. We started to walk towards him, but he stopped us.
"Come not closer," ACE said, in a voice strangely similar to Yoda. "I have mono and want not you it to catch."
"Oh, wise ACE, we wish to know the secret to conquer our fear. Can you help us?" we said. He nodded. "How?" we asked.
"You need only give me a squdge, and all the fear will be erased from your body like bad analogy in corny ficticious story."
So I slowly approached the great ACE, and squdged him. 
Then Shawn squdged him, and then the other employees started catching on and pretty soon everybody was squdging everybody, and it was like one big happy family. But then Rob 
showed up and told us we all looked like idiots and we were scaring the customers away, so we stopped. But no one was afraid of Beth any more, so we decided to have a party after work. Everybody got really trashed and Jon shrunk somehow. He and Charles got into a big argument over who used to be taller.
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