Colonel Helmet's Highly Irregulars -- Chapter 11

Many months had passed since the last Skmo was seen in or around the great city of Saukville, and things were almost back to normal. Well, normal except for the Skmo cumsplats that still covered many walls in the city. The sun had baked them on quite disgustingly. In the south however, the Mexicans had taken New Mexico during the great battle for Saukville and ironically renamed the territory to Newest Mexico. What was left of the US militia had been able to confine them to Newest Mexico and parts of southern California that the US had been trying to pawn off on the Mexicans for years anyhow. The Highly Irregulars saw this as a great time to bathe and possibly catch a drink. Ok, maybe they saw it as a good time to catch a drink and possibly to bathe. Either way, they were on hiatus for no more than two weeks when the Skmos sent in their newest commander, Maniwantdick. He was none other than the son of the great fallen Oligotwontan. Maniwantdick was a powerful leader that had the respect of his troops and as soon as word reached him that the highly irregulars had left town he marched his full army back into the city of Saukville and took it with ease. The greatest city in all the land had once again fallen prey to the evil empire.

A lone calf wandered slowly down Green Bay Avenue past the local Wal-Mart. This calf didn’t exactly seem out of the ordinary, other than the fact that it was wandering down the middle of the road. It was your average calf: white with black spots, four legs, mooed sporadically. Something about it, though made the local people stop. Something just seemed out of place. It wasn’t exactly uncommon for a cow to be loose within the city limits of Saukville; actually it was a regular occurrence. But why did this young cow seem so different?

Maniwantdick had just finished his breakfast at Bublitz’s family restaurant and had decided that on this day he would choose to take his shit before he took his shower. Usually he liked the feeling of the dangleberry’s hung in his asshole all day, but today it did not seem right. Something was amiss. He couldn’t exactly figure it out, but he didn’t like it.

The calf continued wandering slowly down Green Bay Avenue until it happened upon Maniwantdick’s motorcade as it was pulling away from the restaurant. The calf stepped out in front of the parade almost deliberately, or so it seamed. Maniwantdick saw the calf and ordered that it be raped, and then shot like all animals he found roaming within “his” city. The guard approached the young calf as he had so many before, lifted the tail, then inserted his pathetic member into the calf’s anus. Just as the guard began to make his ‘O-face’ the cow exploded, tearing off what had once been his penis and leaving him stand there with his pants around his ankles. Maniwantdick watched in horror as he realized what this meant. The Highly Irregulars had returned, and they were not happy.




Chapter the First
Kapital Zwei
Chapter the Third
Capitolo Quattro
Kapitel Funf
Enemy Scene (chapter 6)
interlude (chapter 7)
Chapter 8
chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter the Tenth
Chapter 11
12 Chapter
Chapter 12
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