Colonel Helmet's Highly Irregulars -- Kapital Zwei

As Colonel Helmet realized exactly what the attack meant and what he would be forced to do, the words came to his lips once again, "fucking skmos." The Highly Irregulars needed to be gathered together and the mission plan drafted. Colonel Helmet reached under his shaven ass and pulled his emergency kit out from underneath the cushion on his wheelchair. He extracted a single blue pill, put the emergency kit back and pushed the button on his intercom. "WANG! send Dr. Clithero! ASS! Christ! ASSCHRIST! i'm dying!!!" Still naked from his wheeled jaunt through the halls, he swallowed the pill, fell out of his chair onto the wooden floor and immediately began convulsing and foming at the mouth. Dr Clithero arrived with an entourage of nurses and attendents in tow. Seeing the condition of Colonel Helmet, he sprang into action. "Fuck! I need everybody out of here! Now!" he screamed. "This man needs an enema. Nurse, prepare the enemizer for me!" As the nurses left to prepare the unholy instrument for use on Colonel Helmet, Dr. Clithero walked to the door locked it and turned around. Colonel Helmet was already in his chair calmly lighting a cigarette. Speaking to Dr. Clithero he said, "Captain, I'm assuming you havent seen the news. The Skmos are at it again. There are Skmo paratroopers, Skmo tanks, and Skmo airborne divisions rolling in from Canada. On top of that we've got mexican rangers closing in from the south. The Highly Irregulars are needed again." The Captain couldnt believe what he had heard. "I thought those fucking Skmos learned their lesson the first time. They will learn it this time. Oh yes, they will learn it this time. . . . " he said, trailing of into unbelieveing silence. Colonel Helmet brought him back from his memories of the first Skmo war, saying, "Captain! Those sadistic bastards are coming for me at any moment with a rectal tube the size of an elephants trunk. I need to assemble the Irregulars so we can take care of this. We need to leave. Now."

One hour later the Irregulars were gathered at the traditional meeting place of the Marina. Colonel Helmet looked around at each of the men in turn. Every man nodded in silent acceptance of the task at hand. When his gaze fell upon Major Thor, the Major stood and began, "Gentlemen, (and not so gentleman, L. Col. Kniess) we need to begin this meeting of the Highly Irregulars. We know what we must do. We know what is demanded of us. And we know that we shall succeed. But before we begin planning for the destruction of our mortal enemies, the Skmos, we need to ask for safety from above with the ceremonial pissing on the grave of that unholiest of unholies, the foul Nicky Boy." Each man desecrated the memorial in turn, and in doing so gained the favor of all that is right in the universe. With their safety in battle asked for and thoughts of Skmos in the back of their minds, the men turned to the task at hand. Colonel Helmet stood up and screamed, "Wir sind der hoffen bewegli. . . . oops" The Captain slowly walked over and gave Colonel Helmet his medicine. As the sedating effects began to work, the Colonel began once again "The Skmos have done it again. This aggression will not stand. This aggression will not stand, man." And with that the men began preparing for the battles to come.




Chapter the First
Kapital Zwei
Chapter the Third
Capitolo Quattro
Kapitel Funf
Enemy Scene (chapter 6)
interlude (chapter 7)
Chapter 8
chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter the Tenth
Chapter 11
12 Chapter
Chapter 12
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