Torn ACL Fantasy Football League

The Torn ACL League was founded in August of 1996 by current commissioner Steve Murray. The inaugural draft was held in the office of former Philadelphia Phools owner, Ray Santee. Three other teams were represented: the San Francisco Blowfish, owned by the commissioner; the Dallas Bulls, owned by Glenn Murray; the Tampa Bay Bombers, owned by Tom Holzerman. John Tracey of the Cheboygan Army Ants and Erick Gimbel of the Anchorage Snowboarders were live via direct satellite on a cell phone. The draft lasted 14 rounds, with Brett Favre being the first overall pick by Tampa Bay. Four other quarterbacks followed, with the trend being broken when Dallas took Emmitt Smith to finish the round. Dallas also took Mr. Insignificant, Ken Dilger, to end the draft.

The Phools stormed out of the gates to a 5-0 record before dropping 5 of their last 9 games. Tampa Bay and Dallas struggled through the season, especially late. Cheboygan was inconsistent but made the playoffs while Anchorage held strong at two games over .500. San Francisco had a mid-season 8 game winning streak, which aided their cause to tie Philadelphia for first place.

Tampa Bay and Dallas met in the league's first ever Toilet Bowl. Dallas lost the game, but proudly claimed the throne of porcelain. As it turned out, these two teams were figured to be in the Super Bowl, but instead it was Philadelphia and San Francisco. The Blowfish took the low-scoring game and walked away with the first ever Torn ACL Super Bowl title.

The 1997 league season figured to have six teams again, but two late additions in Matt Craig's Baton Rouge Showboats and Eddie Brower's Boulder Brickhouse expanded the league into two divisions. The draft was held at an outdoor facility near league offices, and all the teams were represented in person. Brett Favre, once again, went first to Baton Rouge. The lowlight of the first round came at pick #5, when Philadelphia selected the Eagles' defense. For the second year in a row a tight end was Mr. Insignificant.

Cheboygan and Baton Rouge battled all season for the Eastern Division crown, while Anchorage (under new ownership) and Roswell (San Francisco's new home) battled in the West. Dallas again was terrible, but the Western basement belonged to Boulder who could only muster a 2-12 record. Tampa Bay improved by a game, while Philadelphia fell to last in the East.

Both the improved Army Ants and upstart Showboats had quick exits as they were dispatched by two .500 teams from the West. Dallas avoided a repeat offense with an early exit from the Toilet Bowl. While Boulder claimed the Toilet Bowl with a loss to Philadelphia, Liam Corcoran and the Snowboarders ended Roswell's hope of a repeat Super Bowl title with a huge victory.

1998 saw the return of Erick Gimbel as owner of the Cancun Slammers, and the addition of Sam Plyler's Blue Ball Bashers. Several teams changed venues and names, and Philadelphia changed owners. Philadelphia won the #1 pick and selected Barry Sanders, while owner Sam Plyler was not present for his #3 pick, which slid all the way to the 20th pick as a penalty for being late to the draft. Mr. Insignificant was John Allred who went to Carolina.

Tampa Bay, in a big turnaround, won the East, followed by Baton Rouge and Carolina, the division's champs from the previous year. Blue Ball and Philadelphia finished in the basement tied. Anchorage again took the West, followed by a surprising Dallas team and a sub-.500 Cancun franchise. Roswell fell out of contention down the stretch, while Los Angeles mired in the muck all season.

Roswell and Philadelphia exited quickly from the 2000 Flushes convention, as Blue Ball pulled off a surprising upset to make Etzel Brower the two-time Toilet Bowl champion. Baton Rouge dispatched with Carolina, as did Cancun with Dallas in round 1 of playoff action. Both division champs (Tampa Bay and Anchorage) advanced after first round byes, and met in the Super Bowl. Anchorage again came away with the win, becoming the first two-time and back-to-back Torn ACL World Champions.

1999 was the strangest year in league history, spanning league borders into Canada and Singapore. It all started out when Philadelphia won the first pick in the draft, but was immediately taken away because one of the team names had fallen out of the hat, and a redraft was necessary. The draft was held at the Thunderbird Lanes offices, a bowling alley. And things just got weirder. Only one of the top draft picks actually was worth taking, Peyton Manning. Of the rest, four had season ending injuries, three were subpar, one was a rookie, and one was a holdout for eight weeks. Mr. insignificant was K Mike Vanderjagt, who was cut, and actually was more significant then we could be led to believe.

In the East, Baton Rouge and Tampa Bay both finished 9-4, with Baton Rouge gaining the number one seed because of tie-breakers. Philadelphia returned to the playoffs at 7-6. Expansion team Montreal finished 6-7, and Carolina's miserable season ended at 3-10. In the West, a logjam between Dallas, San Francisco, and Houston, all at 7-6, ended with Dallas as number 1, and San Francisco as number 2. Expansion Singapore had a decent year at 6-7, and Anchorage, who lost eight straight, fell to 4-9.

The Toilet was marked by upsets, as both Carolina and Anchorage, the last place teams, both won out in the first round. Singapore lost the title game to Montreal, claiming the 99 Toilet Bowl Championship. The East saw Tampa dispatch with Philadelphia quickly, but lose a closely contested but controversial Eastern Conference Final. In the West Houston ran over San Francisco, and upset the Dallas Bulls to become Western Conference Champs. Super Bowl IV was the first to see both teams go over 100 points. The Baton Rouge Showboats emerged at the end as the 1999 Champions.

The 2000 season saw the return of the draft to league offices, held in the new Hockey Guy tent, John Tracey moved again, San Francisco went back to its original name, and the Showboats moved to the Western Conference. But for the third time in five seasons, one member was absent from the draft as new owner Clint Page and the Thunder Bay Lightning failed to show. The Commissioner drafted for him, and things went smoothly as Peyton Manning was selected first overall. Mr. insignificant this year was actually a group of insignificants, the Dallas Cowboys Special Teams.

With Baton Rouge now in the West, Tampa Bay ran away with the Eastern Conference with a 10-3 record. The upstart Montreal People came in second at 7-6, and the Thunder Bay Lightning overcame a three-way tie for third at 5-8 with tiebreakers. The Nashville NewBlood (the relocated Carolina Wolfpac) and the Philadelphia Flying Monkeys also at 5-8 were sent to the place of which we dare not speak. In the West, the Dallas Bulls claimed the top seed on the final day with a 9-4 record. This was the result of a four game slide by the Houston Haberdashers to finish the year at 8-5. The defending champion Showboats barely kept above .500 at 7-6, finishing third. The San Francisco Blowfish finished 6-7, as owner and Commissioner cried foul at his own rule changes. The Anchorage Snipers finished 3-10 thanks in part to a large number of forfeits.

The Toilet Tournament saw both Anchorage and Nashville forfeit opening round games, but in the finals, Commissioner Steve could not have both teams forfeit again, so he decided to accept the outcome, and Nashville was crowned with many flushes. In the East, Montreal was handed a victory by Thunder Bay via forfeit, but was trounced by Tampa Bay in the finals. The West saw the Showboats beat out the Haberdashers, and then take out the Mouth Glenn and the Bulls in the West finals. There was little question who was left standing at the end of Super Bowl V, as the Bombers rolled to victory for their first ever Championship.

2001 saw the return of former Toilet Star Bill McNally and the Singapore Whipping Canes, and new face Alex Page, (brother of Clint Page, who has become quite the draft dodger) who took over Montreal at the last minute. John Tracey moved yet again, this time to the Windy City, only to be renamed the Wolfpac. Tampa Bay would make a name change mid season out of sensitivity to the terror attacks, but everyone stayed pat. Holzerman actually got the number one pick despite being the reigning champ, and took Kurt Warner of course. The job of taking lowly Mr. Insignificant fell to Baton Rouge, who took the Bears Special Teams.

The Eastern Conference was pretty much a three team race the whole way, with Philadelphia at 8-5 edging out Montreal (also 8-5) for the top spot by virtue of a superior conference record. Tampa Bay rallied in the final three games to climb to 7-6 and clinch third. The Wolfpac were buried by a 1-8 start, but they got back to a respectable 5-8 by winning four straight to close out the year. Thunder Bay was awful all year and concluded with a 1-12 record, losing their last seven. While the East was clear cut, the West was a mess from day one. At one point all teams were tied at 5-3. Baton Rouge managed to emerge and take the number one seed at 9-4, but four teams battled for two spots in week 13, with Houston (8-5) beating Singapore (6-7) and San Francisco (7-6) gleefully beating Dallas (6-7).

In the big porcelain bowl, Chicago, the defending champ, and Dallas, a former champ, both high-tailed it on out quickly. In the finals, Singapore trounced Thunder Bay, completing a miserable season for Clint. The playoffs were hot, with Tampa Bay ousting Alex Page's Generals and Houston edging the Blowfish in the first round. In the Eastern Conference Championship, problems arose yet again as both of Philly's QB's were hurt, but one played, and if he hadn't, Kordell Stewart was in line, and he would have gotten the Monkeys past Tampa Bay. But Jon Kitna's performance was ugly, and so the Bruisers moved on. In the West, the Haberdashers just beat Baton Rouge by two in a high-scoring, run and gun game. So Houston and Tampa met in Super Bowl VI, with the Eddie and the Habs emerging victorious, becoming the first team to hold both Toilet and Super Bowl Championships.

2002 was another year of change, but owners were more embolden to trade. There were a total of four moves: John Tracey from Chicago to Nishibiwajima, Japan - Bill McNally from Singapore to Sao Paulo, Brazil - Alex Murray from Philadelphia to Christmas Lake Valley - Alex Page from Montreal to Charlotte. As a result, both the East and West divisions underwent huge facelifts. The East included: Baton Rouge, Charlotte, Sao Paulo, Tampa Bay and Thunder Bay. The West: Dallas, Houston, Lake Valley, Nishibiwajima and San Francisco. In addition to the moves, Sao Paulo was like a Wall Street broker - Bill traded out of the first round and ended up with five picks in the first three rounds of the draft.

That investment paid off - Sao Paulo finished 11-2 in the East, and scored the most points ever by a franchise. Charlotte was not that far behind, finishing at 10-3 behind the stellar play of Rich Gannon, Priest Holmes and Terrell Owens all year. Baton Rouge qualified for the playoffs for the 6th straight year at 7-6. This left the defending East Conference Champion Tampa Bay out of the playoffs as they finished with a disappointing record of 5-8. Finally, Thunder Bay did better than the 2001 season, but they still finished at 2-11. The West had Houston (8-5) win the division and Nishibiwajima (7-6) clinched a playoff spot for the first time since 1998. The final playoff spot involved a shared record of 5-8 between the Murray brothers, but Lake Valley rose to take the spot due to a better conference record than San Francisco and Dallas.

In the Toilet Bowl: Thunder Bay beat Tampa Bay and surprised many in the process, while San Francisco held off a clean sweep by trouncing Dallas. Toilet Bowl vii saw a return match of Toilet Bowl i, but the result was the same as Tampa clocked Dallas, leaving the Bulls holding two toilet paper rolls. In the Super Bowl playoffs: Charlotte easily dispatched of Baton Rouge, and then pulled off a stunning upset over Sao Paulo to win the East Conference. The conference win was costly, however, as Priest Holmes injured his hip and was done for the season. Lake Valley stunned Nishibiwajima with a 9-yard victory, but then Houston haberdashed any dreams that the Commies had for the Super Bowl to win the West. Due to Priest Holmes' injury and Terrell Owens sitting one out due to injury, Charlotte's roster was depleted - and this allowed Houston to score an easy victory in Super Bowl VII. The Haberdashers became the first franchise since Anchorage in 1997-98 to repeat as Super Bowl Champions.