Musturds Guide to a Good Newsletter

Content. It is nice, but not absolutely necessary to refer in the Newsletter to the run in some way. Phrases such as "I think someone went for a run ..." or "Some Blue Veined Custurd Chucker (term from Viz's Profannasaurus meaning dick, willie or tadger - see below) went for a trot" are usually good enough. Sometimes describing the run in terms like "up", "down", "left", "right", "false trail", "clever bastard" and so on can also be handy as it does suggest that the author may have actually been on the run and it does try to convey something of the trail to the reader. However, if the run was largely unsatisfactory then you can talk about...talk about...almost anything...like your new Fish Finder maybe...no one is gonna care.

Style. Lets face it, your average Hash Man has the literary expertise of a coal miner. Actually, it is a little known fact that Shakespeare (of the William variety) had a coal miner for a father, or was it that he just had a coal miner, or was it a hockey player, or did he just dream it on a summers night. Anyway... I digress. Any old style will do just fine as long as it has a bit of life to it. There really is no place for a 'Zen and the Art of Hash House Harriering' or a 'Hare and Peace', although a 'Hair Piece' would definitely keep some of the old heads warm in winter. Please your black self mainly. Most of us will probably be surprised that you can write at all and therefore wont be too critical.

Profanities. Defined in the Pocket Oxford Dictionary as blasphemy, swearing, irreverant speech or behaviour, profanities are the Hash writers best tool when it comes to livening up an otherwise boring bit of rotten old prose. The optimum ratio of profanities to other words falls somewhere around one in twenty. Any more than that is showing off and any less suggests you left the writing to mum. If you're ever stuck for a good profanity check out Rogers Profannasaurus at Viz Magazines internet site - www.viz.co.uk