Funny Jokes

There are 3 essential types of jokes in the bizarre person's world. 1) Campy pun jokes 2) Dead Baby Jokes and 3) Jokes with punchlines that don't make sense.

-Campy Pun Jokes-

1. Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

2. Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

-Dead Baby Jokes-

1. Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
A: So you can see the expression on its face.

2. Q: What do you call a baby in a blender?
A: Lunch.

3. Q: What's red and spins around at 40 MPH?
A: A baby in a blender

4. Q: What's pink and bubbly and taps on glass?
A: A baby in the microwave

5. Q: What's pink and red and swings back and forth, back and forth?
A: A baby on a meathook

6. Q: What's bright blue, pink, and sizzles?
A: A baby trying to breast feed on an electrical outlet

7. Q: What's red and is on all four corners of the room?
A: A baby that has been playing with a chainsaw

8. Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A: A baby with its head caught in a plastic bag

9. Q: What's blue and green and sits on the floor?
A: Same baby, 3 months later

10. Q: What's charred black and smells really bad?
A: A baby in the fireplace

11. Q: What's the difference between a TV and a baby?
A: A new TV doesn't deserve to be in the garbage.

12. Q: What's the best gift for a dead baby?
A: A dead puppy

13. Q: What's a surefire way to stop a baby from crying?
A: With an ax.

14. Q: What's more fun than swinging a dead baby on a clothesline?
A: Stopping it with a shovel

15. Q: What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall?
A: Ripping it back off

16. Q: What's easier to unload, a truckload of bowling balls or a truckload of babies?
A: A truckload of babies; You can use a pitchfork

17. Q: What's the difference between a baby and an orange?
A: You have to peel an orange before you eat it.

-Jokes With Punchlines That Don't Make Sense

1. Q: What did the magician say to the record?
A: Nothing! He was dead!

2. Q: What am I thinking about?
A: Cellophane!

3. Q: What do you call a piece of pie that has no eyes?
A: A piece of pie with no eyes!

4. Q: Where's the bubble?
A: I don't know!

5. I watched TV once... and I saw the toothfairy!

6. I knew a guy who owned a horse AND a penguin!

7. The Jolly Green Giant and the Easter Bunny are sitting in the bathtub. The Easter Bunny says, "Would you like some more soda?" and the Jolly Green Giant says, "No, thanks, I'd rather have a typewriter!"