Invaders from britain, a bitter sweet invasion.
Finally, a miracle month has gone. We called it “miracle” because 2 famous football clubs from England, which are Liverpool FC and Manchester United FC, flied over to perform a friendly match with Thai National team. If you named yourself as a fanatic fan but you did miss these events, next life would not enough to wait for their return. Anyway, there are some stories about how much influence they have upon Thai fan.Refer to WARP’s standard,it can’t be just an ordinary report. We defined it as an exclusive gossip that you can’t find in anywhere else but here.
“ Scousers lost in the city ”
17th July 2001
Part 1: A Rumor Day
Every The Reds’ fan or even us, WARP, had been experienced the rumors spinning all day that Liverpool team had landed in Thailland.This incredible day started with the promoter sort off fans who were attending to catch the players at the airport by providing a coach to pick the team up right at the plane gate. Those fans that been waiting from dark till dawn had to carry all the disappointments along the way to Hotel instead.I also had a technical problem, I stuck in the cab for almost an hour but the luck was with us as I arrived there on time.
*Phew* The Press Conference will be held in The Grand Ballroom, I have to get through the human- being wall that blocked the doorway before I proudly showed the invitation card to the guard just to value ourselves as a VIP guest.At last, I settled myself in 2nd row in the middle of the Ballroom where it’s a perfect place to sneak out and take some pictures. While waiting for the conference to start, I found myself cursing another journalist who spread the rumor that we can only use the elevator to get to the ballroom on the 2nd floor not the stair.I had spent at least 15 minutes walking with no direction before get in the room by that bloody stair.
4.35pm The conference should has been started 35 mins ago but still no sign of it yet. I heard people screaming down stair from time to time, the louder they scream the more I felt excited in my stomach.
4.45pm Gerrard Houllier suddenly popped in the room, blimey I was up front next to the stage already.
1 minute with Gerrard Houllier: “ There were tons of Liverpool fans greeting us on the way to Hotel. In Singapore, there were about 40,000 people in the Stadium but there were only 47 out of them supported us “
After Houllier and the promoters finished their job, some said that the footballers wouldn’t come down because of jet lag. I wonder if 2 hours flying from Singapore really can be jet lag? Anyway, they can’t fool me cos I saw staff prepared to change the nametag on the table. Everyone, I was right! Few minutes later, the 3 musketeers , Jamie Redknapp, Robbie Fowler and Sami Hyypia entered the room with the treble cups sparkling in their arms. Flashes from cameras splashed again and again accompanied by the screams of craze in soprano tune.
1 minute with Robbie Fowler: “ All I think is the game this Thursday. I will talk about the new contract as soon as I get back to England.
Please don’t ask me how many goal I will score cos I don’t know either”
Meanwhile, the last rumor of the day came. It said the Liverpool team was divided to 2 groups, Owen as the leader of another group was going for the training session right now. There was a pile of reporters left the room without the doubt that they were fools once again.
Part2: “ Gala Dinner Night, Footballers and the restroom “
9.00 pm. After the training session, it’s time to please the sponsors in Gala Dinner night.
I claimed to wait in front of the restroom to take the pictures only. Anyway, The VIP restroom is for the footballers who everyone considered them as the upper class. Mind you, I saw Nick Barmby used the NON VIP one maybe nobody told him. I really had nothing to do right now because the whole team was inside. I began to make a poll about who’s been in the restroom and how many time, the results are below.
1. Nick Barmby 2 times ( 2 mins each) 1 Guard
2. John Arne Riise 1 time (1.37 mins) 1 Guard
3. Sami Hyypia 1 time (3 mins) 1 Guard
*WINNER*4. Pegguy Arphexad 4 times
(2 mins each) 1 Guard
5. Michael Owen 1 time (5 mins) 4 Guards
6. Jamie Redknapp 2 times (5 mins each) 2 Guards
7. Robbie Fowler 1 times (5mins) 4 Guards
The winner is Pegguy with the best record, 4 times per hour, maybe he needs to see the doctor to fix the pipe tomake sure that our goal won't leak like water. I felt very sorry for the stars like Owen, Fowler and Redknapp who have the followers even to pee. I wonder did they have to pee quietly cos guards might make fun of it behind their back. Also, right when they came out there was a psycho like me waiting in front of the loo .
4 men and a baby goal :)
Jamie and the guards
*Sigh* Anyway anyhow, I have a story about Stephen Henchoz to sell here. It was a huge coincidence that he met his missing Swiss friends here In Thailand! I spied their convo for a second and I heard that a Swiss couple was having a romantic dinner (actually they both were dress like backpackers in Kaosarn Rd.) They happened to notice Liverpool Logos around the hotel so they asked the waiter to give Henchoz a note. They ran into each other arms as soon as they met. That scene was so sentimental enough to make me sob a little bit.
11.00 pm. Time to go back to hotel . The footballers have to past WARP gate before get in the Coach. There were quite a lot who’s been my victim though such as Fowler, Litmanen, Riise, Stephen Wright, Redknapp, Westerveld, Barmby, Hyypia, Thommo and Houllier. What a bit ridiculous was Houllier who has been know as a popped –eye manager. He dropped by and gave us an autograph. I said “ Merci Beaucoup” which means “ Thank You” in French, and then he turned to me smiling with the eyes popped out and murmured something in French.I assumed that he was surprised that there was a psycho speaking French in front of the loo.
1 minute with Sander Westerveld: “ Too bad we can’t go elsewhere ”
1 minute with Sami Hyypia: “ As we have to stay only in hotel so I enjoy myself being in and out the elevator instead ”
1 minute with Jamie Redknapp: “ My wife, Louise has been here already so I think about coming back here again ”
Talking about Redknapp, he’s one of the superstars who was bought up among a fine family that explains why he treats his fans politely. If someone says thank you for signing though he was being busy with other fans he would just stop and says thank you in return. There was a girl I met at Gala Dinner, he told me that once she was about to be carried away by a Guard who’s thousands times bigger than her because she sneaked in to get Redknapp’s autograph. Guess what, Redknapp saved her from being threatened by guard who’s totally THAI. I wonder why no one is gonna throw those fake fans who always ask stupid question like “ Where’s Beckham? Isn’t he playing for Liverpool?” (But they happened to have authority connections). I’m upset every time I think about it because these fake ones deserve to be throwing away more than the loyal fans.
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“ Glory Glory Man Unitedddd !!”
28th July 2001
Part 1 : A Ringside story
5.00 pm. Coffee Shop I waited for the Press pass for the training session.The Red Devils fans were marching on the street early in the afternoon.
I waited until 6 pm before getting inside the ground I saw the real Beckham posing at the corner and seemed to enjoy being in front of cameras. There was not much reporter compares to Liverpool’s. For some reasons I thought it was very hard to get the press card and the staff was very strict. Well, I was quite wrong because I saw a friend from high school who’s now working nothing like a reporter.
She was standing, screaming and waving for Andy Cole beside the pitch. I came to her and shoot some questions. She told me that she got this press pass from her relative who was too sick to come. Then I asked her how come she’s still alive on earth cos the picture on ID and her face
is not match? . She proudly replied me that the guard did check but still he let her in. (!?!) I really had no idea to continue the convo so I just say good bye and got back to where I was.
Few mins later, Beckham took a ball and put it in the middle of the pitch and shoots it.I can say it’s unbelievable that the ball ended up in the goal!!!!! At that time, there was a silence for a minute before fans screamed like mad. Beckham must be a person who really needs love from all over the world because he did another( far ) free kick again.I wondered how could he make it twice, talented isn’t it? Apart from Beckham’s show it seemed nobody give a shit for the training session.
7.00pm at a ringside Hooray! They finished the session already. The luck was with me today as the players were quite close to where I was. Beckham (again!) was the first who took the jersey off ummmm his tattoo reminded me about the Mohican interview. Andy Cole and Dwight York followed Beck’s idea but unfortunately fans did scream but in another way.
Jaap Stump also took of his kit and threw it away to the fans as a present. It was not pleasant at all because the wave of the fans claimed to be the owner of that kit. 5 mins times passed by,
it was getting serious because everyone wanted to possess it. I heard 2 people were cursing with a very ugly dirty words and possibly end up like hurting each other into blood. At the end,the police appeared to cool down the situation with a very cliché style.
Police : errr.… aren’t you 2 fighting?
A Boy : He pulled my collar and was going to punch me!
(Showed the wrinkle collar)
A Man : He stole my kit first!
Police : err... ( confused totally lost ) whose kit then?
(Someone shouted “Jaap Stump” HA!)
A Man : ( quickly added ) It’s mine , i was the first who took it!
Then the police let A Man have that jersey.
Police : It’s only just a shirt, we, Thai, should have not fight.
( leave with a stereotype smile )
I was pissed that the silly police let that man from hell got the kit without a proper investigation but he left something in my mind to think over. Why do we have to risk a life like that just to get a damp sweaty smelly kit own by A foreign footballer that our grandma even doesn’t have a clue who bloody he is? (And also Why he got to run and kick the ball ) I left the stadium because I don’t want to squeeze with the fans that still wait until the end of time. I have just known that a stadium nearby was holding a GSM Thai League (finally I know the exact name) There were not much audiences compares to Manchester United but seemed like they were having a good time.
Why do Thai people are crazy for Football more than Boxing which is originally in Thailand?..I don’t really know. It might be like giving boxer Gold by sponsors distracted the charm of the boxing game and the gambling played a part or in another word, to take control the game.
These things really cut down’s people faith then they would rather go for football instead.For some reason, Premier League, the season runs from August to May and there’s a LIVE match cover every weekend include the extra Monday night. It’s quite different from Thai League that
nobody keen to take a look. The players have been dishonest because they have the benefit on the gambling, been drunk but still have to play and sad but true Thai footballers look ugly.It’s not only for teams in GSM Thai League but also the national team that has been neglected
by Thai fans.There was a question like “ Liverpool won 1-3 but who scored for Thailand ???" If most of the football fans in Thailand are still have no attention even for the national team, I can bet that the GSM Thai league promoter would be close to crisis. As long as the promoter never seem to put the effort to develop this league and us still determine to devote ourselves for the foreign football , will it be the day that we dare to step the foot on other head to catch
Tawan Sripan’s kit? Will it be the day that we check in the hotel room just to feel Zigo’s smell or seeing Thai team in the World Cup Final? The answer is would be
”No I don’t think so.”
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WARP Da Guest #2
There are a billion million questions from fans around the world asking us about a new haircut of The Three Lion’s youngster captain named
David Deckham. Some says that he did it in order to be sarcastic to Alux Fergusun, a big boss of Manchicken United FC, who dropped him out of the first starting line up because of his poor performance lately. While there's some says that he was forced by his beloved, adorable wife, Veirdtoria. By the way, to find out the truth for these rumors, we, WARP, proudly presents an exclusive interview " One Night With A Mohican knight” imported directly from England exclusively for Fans in Thailand.
Exclusive Interview: "One Night With A Mohican knight"
Deckham’s haircut has been talk of the town since a mysterious picture was revealing by a quickie hand paparazzi. He took a snapshot when Decks took off Posh Spice's Gucci cap to scratch his head a bit while he was watching the dogcart in York with his admiral son, Booklyn. There were loads of phone calls ringing in WARP office once the photo was published. Most of the callers are young ladies (and almost ladies) from
'Decks or nothing ' Fan club, asked us if it was the real picture of Deckham or it was Vinnie Jones in disguise. (A former Wimbledon's player who's now getting his arse in a wide screen, Swordfish) Deckham was very please to give us the right story to cover all the rumors, our date was set right away after he had just grabbed England's 3 points by the marvelous free kick, won over Greece for the World Cup Final Qualification, to extend England’s chance to take over the leader and to kick Germany to the second place on the table.
I was waiting for Decks in a tunnel where there was a frame “This is Greece” was hanging above. The players from both England and Greece were walking pass me. I saw Seven Gerrard was having a serious talk to his mate from Liverfool FC, Robby Flower, who was a bit upset because of a disappointed performance. Deckham was coming in with his mate from Manchicken United, Paul School. It seemed like they were bluffing each other about their divined goals. I quickly ran to Mr.Deckham and introduced him that it was me from WARP magazine then he just grabbed me in his arms and took me inside the changing room among the thousands jealousy eyes from other reporters chasing behind my back. Decks and me sat in the corner of the room, he opened a couple of Pepsi cans that he got from a kid in the tunnel, gave one to me and began to talk.
"I wanted to go for something quite hip that no one would possibly want to imitate You know what, it's darn annoying every time you see your picture publishing in tabloids everyday but your look is not hip at all!!!!! "
It is where the story begins. The newest England's captain who has been hot in every single move he made. News & rumors about his life and family are in focus not less than gossips inside Britain royal family.
“ People were babbling about me got me head shaved to protest Alux who dropped me off the first starting line up last X’mas because of me lousy performance, skipping the training session, arguing with team mates or even being as a spice boys daily on tabloids, I think it was really bullshite.
Decks sipped Pepsi to chill him down after had been in a battle for 90 minutes.
He was about to take off his sweat jersey before asking for my permission,
“ err… is it ok if I .. ? “
I abruptly said I would never mind him doing that though my heart goes boom inside with a dodgy thought why he has to pretend to be nice to a no name journalist like me. Before flattering on my own, Decks took me back from fantasy.
hmmmmm I think that my Fashion leader instinct has got nothing to do with football, I respect Alux as my dad. I know my performance was under standard for quite sometimes I haven’t had a proper goal for these 2 months but you have to keep in mind that I‘m a midfielder not a striker. Yet, all of us footballers have to been through a hard time sooner or late. Not only myself but also Renaldo and Andy Cole, you can see what happened to them "
There was a lovely boy coming in between us asked for the autograph. Decks gave it to him right away without moaning, it seems he loves children; it is tremendous contrast to his hot tempered behavior on the pitch
“In fact, I got the inspiration from a movie called '" Taxi Driver " starring Robert De Niro, I watched this film, De Niro 's haircut kicked me right to my heart. The Mohican style was quite fashionable and classy. I think it would probably be a new trend for this century. Then I got in my Porsche and ran to see Tyler Johnston, my personal hairdresser to get me hair done. Hmmmm it cost me not more than 1000 quids, very cheap though.. I think it quite matches to my new Prada’s pyjamas that I bought in Italy few weeks ago”
He took a deep breathe before having a comic relief scene.
"
However that was after Veirdtoria's approval, of course,” Deckham added.
She also suggested me to take our dearie angel Booklyn to get the same haircut as mine
We asked about his family, wondered how could he and Vierdtoria manage their times to look after their son, as everyone knows how busy they are.
We loved our son as much as anyone could imagine. We’re planning to re decorate his bedroom. Don't you think it's a good idea to put some pictures of Vierdtoria babe and me on the wall around the room? Our son would be growing up as a perfect boy, being well known, having a good taste, being a fashion leader, being good at football, having his own album worldwide and having a successful life by taking us as his best image, it's a brilliant idea, innit? "
We get back focus on Football issue, a bit afraid that he would show us the tattoo written his son’s name on his bum. We went on asking him is it true that England's captain should have had a proper haircut as in a conservative style.
"
That's life and whatever anyone thinks about an England captain having a fashionable hairstyle, it's what you do on the pitch rather than what you look like, I really don’t understand why people never mentioned Gullite’s haircut or Buggio’s pony tail in World Cup 1994 in a bad way like mine."
He paused as if he was thinking about something then said,
"
Isn't Mohican hip enough, anyone?"
These were very brave words coming from a player whose success arguably came from his looks, rather than his talent. I think that he has proved us that how much he deserved to be a Captain considering by the outstanding performance tonight It was the last word he said to WARP before he sneaked out of the room and got into his brand-new redPorsche. He left us with amazement in his charm that is still spinning around in our mind...until now.
