The following is the true story of a group of young men, who by ordination of God, were chosen to form a team of epic legend and mythical fame. While the names and places have been changed to protect the innocent, the story remains....
This is the story of the Phat Slobs. In the fall of 1996, a group of young men entered the intramural season with a vision. A common goal that would place them at the pinnacle of athletics and make then the center of popularity. Though scattered through the ranks of different teams, the supernatural forces of God would draw them together in the spring of 1997 to form an experimental new intramural team for the Basketball season.
It's code name was the S.a.x.x.x. Gathered together for the first time, this elite group of athletes took the basketball world and set it on it's side. Never had Howard Payne University experienced a team quite like it. The skill, the accuracy, the explosive scoring sprees. The SAXXX all but decimated the teams that stood in it's way, with all the smoothness of GQ male-spokesmodels.
Softball season was soon approaching. Team moral was at an all time high(afterall...who could hold a candle to these guys?). Everything seemed to be in place for an outstanding softball campaign, and with the edition of Donnie Holzworth, the team that couldn't get any better..just did. Team members Jeff Scott, Jesse Tunnell, James Criner, and Rick Gebauer were enjoying a pleasant meal in a particular restaurant in Abiliene that has been known to have been frequented by Howard Payne students...or should I say STUDents. The atmosphere was pleasant, and the woman were plentiful. The four young slobs had no idea that a legend was about to be born... Conversation was the same as always....Who would enter the Intramural Hall of Fame first? Who would have the most home runs in the league? Who would have the distinct honor of being the SAXXX first victim on the field?
Then it happened. Something was just not quite right about the name.....SAXXX? What was it? Maybe it was the 3 X's. Maybe it was the was the food they were eating. Or maybe it was the fact that the name itself evoked images of a certain part of the male anatomy that I would rather not discuss. Whatever it was....it had to be changed....but to what? Studmuffins? No. The rejex? No....(although I hear that someone overheard that suggestion and actually decided to use it!) The MasterBatters? Do I even have to answer that one? Hmmmm. So many names, so little coolness. What could capture the essence of this team? What could be said about a group of athletes such as these? How could the name describe the shaking of the opponent with the swooning of the women?....WHAT WAS THAT NAME?
"Fat Slobs? said Rick jokingly. "How about Phat Slobs....with a ph?" said James. "Hmmm. Yes, that has a certain "pimp" element to it." proclaimed Jeff. "Whatever." mumbled Jesse as he was checking out a waitress. From that night forth...the team has been known by the name...PHAT SLOBS! After all, anyone can be in intramurals.....but it takes a man to be a PHAT SLOB!
Yes Ladies and Gentlemen the story did not end there. It was only beginning. The team that broke all the rules is back with it's own rules. The most entertaining team in intramural history will be making girls giggle, guys murmer, and old ladies have strokes....Yes the SLOBS are here to stay!!!!
And that is the history of the Slobs....from dream to domination. Every word said here is true and every line is accurate....ok well most of it.....ok a little bit of it.....Alright! I read it off a bathroom stall in Taylor Hall, but it sure sounds good doesn't it?