*The scene opens to a bleak gray sky. As the camera slowly pans down a large building comes into view. And standing in front of that building is none other than Evan Douglas himself. But strangely enough.. he is alone. As the camera pans around a little bit more it picks up a sign that says "New Bethlehem Hospital".. that sound awefully farmiliar.. isnt that where Spiral spent most of his formative years? And.. isnt that in England? Why the hell is Evan Douglas there? And where the hell is Jack Daniels? Evan motions for the camera to follow and he walks into the hospital. Without stopping he walks straight passed the front desk and into a hallway. He stops in front of a door and when he opens it we can see that all four walls are padded... and so is the floor! Evan turns..*
Evan Douglas:Well here we are.. finally.. yes.. we're in jolly old England and this my friends *motions to the room* is where Spiral spent his life up until 1999. Feel sorry for him yet? You do? Well dont.. the reason he was here is because he burnt his family to death.. thats right.. Spiral killed his parents.. he killed his brothers and sisters.. and right now he is out walking the streets.. but thats not the best of it.. if we can just... *Evan signals to someone* ahh good.. Jack Daniels is standing by.. Jack?
*A monitor is brought into the room and we cut to Jack Daniels who seems to be sitting down in a cage somewhere..*
Jack Daniels: I'm here in South Bend, Indiana. This little cage that Jack Daniels is sitting in.. is where Lunatikk Crippler grew up.. He fuckin' killed a kid his age and was locked up.. but better yet.. he doesnt know anythin' 'bout his childhood.. and still better yet.. his fuckin' parents hate the poor bastard.. alot of people say he's reformed and that he aint like that no more.. but not this Drunken Bastard.. *A screen behind Daniels is revealed and we can see Evan standing in the padded room* You know something Evan?
Evan Douglas: *Pause* Whats that Jack?
Jack Daniels: I'm thinkin' that this place.. and the place your standin' right now.. is the weak link in the Psycho Circus team..
*We cut over to England and Evan Douglas*
Evan Douglas: I was thinking that exact same thing Jack.. in fact.. I've been thinking it all along.. we already know these two are simply fucked in the head.. but I didnt actually realise just how much Spiral was lacking in the mental health department until I stepped foot into this place. You've got to see it Jack.. this is the madhouse of madhouses.. And if we exploit this fact.. then we'll walk out of burning desires with our gold in tact. *Evan looks into the camera* You see Spiral.. Crip.. we've got you by the short and curlies.. we know how you operate.. we know what you want and what you need.. we know what you've done and who you've done it to.. You two think you're the masters of playing with peoples minds.. well know you know that you've met your match.. Absolute Power has the ability to simply walk into your minds and fuck them up more than ever.. we saw it just last week.. Absolute Power has changed you.. You walked into the office of Darren Edwards wearing suits.. speaking calmly and collectively.. there was no wise cracking by you Crip.. there was no deep and distant anecdotes from you Spiral.. and the two of you think that you can walk into a ladder match with the greatest tag team in the history of this sport in the right state of mind? Well I know this may be quite obvious.. but the two of you are seriously out of your minds.. you're walking into this match in a much different way than you usually would.. but Absolute Power.. we're coming in exactly like we always do.. confident and positive that we will walk away with our gold.
*Cut back to Indiana with Jack Daniels*
Jack Daniels: : Just like Evan said, we've taken ya bastards outta your game...outta your mindset. Absolute Power stepped over into your territory...we did what ya motherfuckers claim ya do best...and we stuck it to ya. We upstaged ya each and every step of the way. We outclassed ya like only Absolute Power can. Plain and simple, we mind fucked ya to the point where ya looney bastards became so dillusional, ya actually thought ya would stand a chance takin' on Absolute Power in a ladder match. Not only that, but ya bastards lost your inner hardcore and psychotic feelings within yourselves cuz instead of blastin' Daniels and Douglas withthe free shots we offered ya, instead ya extended your hands and offered to shake our hands outta respect. Respect? RESPECT?! Ya motherfuckers haven't seen 'nuff from Absolute Power to garner up respect for 'em. But Jack Daniels will guaran-damn-tee both of ya looney bastards that after Burnin' Desires...after all the mayhem...after all the broken bones and concusions...after all the blood lost...ya motherfuckers will have a complete understandin' of respect when Absolute Power beat your asses one more time, and walk outta that ring with our tag team straps. Circus, not only will ya finally realize what respect really is, but ya will become just like the rest of 'em...just like every other one...ya will become JUST 'NOTHER MARK!
*Cut back to Evan*
Evan Douglas: Do you remember this place Spiral? Of course you do.. you only got out 3 years ago didnt you? I've got a couple of questions I wanted to ask you Spiral.. Whats it like growing up knowing that you're the one responsible for killing your family? On christmas morning who gave you your gifts? The other loonies? The nurses that beat you over and over again? It must really have sucked being you Spiral.. and it doesnt suprise this living legend that you turned out the way you did.. but does Evan feel sorry for you? Hell no you sick son of a bitch! You killed your family.. you deserve everything you got and everything you're going to get this week when you step into the ring.. surrounded by ladders.. to face Absolute Power.
*Cut back to Daniels*
Jack Daniels: Ya know, if this drunken bastard had to be locked in this cage in the basement of some shithole, he'd prolly go looney as well. But me...I'm not an animal. I don't deserve to be locked up in here. Now as for Crippler, he's a different story. He's the one who went psycho and killed some helpless little boy. And ya wanna call yourself the good guy Crippler? I don't fuckin' think so. Ya see it doesn't matter if you're the good guy, the bad guy, the looney guy or the drunk guy, the fact still remain the same. The facts that ya could never beat Jack Daniels. On the Grand Canyon, ya couldn't beat him. In the parking lot of an arena...ya couldn't beat him. Why is that Crip? Why? Is it simply cuz ya absolutely suck? Yeah that could be it, but this drunken bastard thinks it runs deeper than that. Ya say that ya had amnesia and can't remember a damn thing. I think it's just an excuse to hide and protect yourself from the ugly truths. Ya don't have a fuckin' clue who you're parents were, do ya Crip? Jack Daniels has always said you're clueless, but I think ya know...ya just can't deal with it. Ya can't deal with the fact that your ol' man was prolly an abusive drunk who beat ya and his old lady down from time to time. I mean, what else could it be? Let's not forget you're from South Bend, Indiana, so the chances of your ol' man bein' an abusive drunk who would kick the shit outta ya and his old lady is 97.3721%. So in reality, everytime ya stand face to face with this drunken bastard, one thing comes to your mind...one image...one memory that ya say ya can't fuckin' remember. The memory of your ol' man beatin' down on a defenseless little boy. That's why ya can't muster up a fight 'gainst The Drunk One. That rage has built up and everytime ya go one on one with The Drunk One, that rage begins to reveal itself and take action upon my drunken ass. But in the end, ya can't do it. Ya can't take that final step up the ladder, and put an end to the beatings. Cuz ya know if ya did, it would only result in more of 'em...many more and more brutal than the first. That's what you're 'fraid with Jack Daniels. Ya look at my drunken mug and ya see your ol' man. And just like any youngin', ya would show your ol' folks some respect. And now, ya wanna show Jack Daniels repsect. Oh don't ya worry Crip, I'll make sure ya will respect the hell outta me. And when I do that...I'm gonna ask ya one question. One simple question Crip...
WHO'S YOUR DADDY...BITCH!
And seein' as ya had yourself a serious case of amnesia as a youngin' as a result of your head bein' pounded in too damn much by your ol' man, ya should have no problem in answerin' that question Crip. Cuz who else than Jack Daniels has handed ya your ass more times than anyone else inthis circuit? Nobody. Who else than Jack Daniels has thrown ya off a cliff on the Grand Canyon? Nobody. Who else than Jack Daniels has taken ya to and beyond your hardcore limits and still managed to beat ya? Nobody. Now if ya still wanna prance 'round and flaunt your tainted victories over Evan from the past, then go right 'head Crip. But what ya don't realize is that you're only hurtin' yourself. You're only exposin' your weakness in relyin' on Spiral to actually win a match and get somewhere. Well tell me Crip, what's gonna happen when Spiral is taken outta the picture on Sunday night, and then it's just me and ya left in that ring to decide who goes home champions and who just goes home? Never thought of that did ya? Jack Daniels will tell ya what's gonna happen...the same damn thing that happened in the MTT3...your asses lose. Somethin' your accustomed to Crippler. Losin' your memory. Losin' your dignity at a young age and bein' locked up in this cage. Losin' your virginity to some power ridden goth out east.
The truth hurts...DON'T IT MOTHERFUCKER?!
Evan Douglas: ****CRIPPLER SMACK NOW I THINK****
*The scene cuts to Daniels who is now where Evan was earlier, the New Bethlehem Hospital, in the very same white padded room. But for some odd reason, Daniels seems one with the room. He is seated in the middle of it as he looks up and begins speaking...*
Jack Daniels: Ya know, this room brings back some memories. It seems like yesterday when Jack Daniels was in one of these. What's the matter Spiral, thought ya were the only one that's spent some time in one of these? Ya never thought this drunken bastard has been in one of these 'fore? There's a lot ya don't know Spiral...a lot. Ya see, back 'bout two years ago, Jack Daniels was taken away from his home, the ring...literally right from the sqaured fuckin' circle. Jack Daniels was forced into a straight jacket and off he went to the Betty Ford Clinic where he was put in a white padded room just like this one. They tried all the same tactics that they prolly tried with ya. They tried to brainwash my drunken mind. They tried to force feed my mind with happy thoughts and get me off the Ol' No.7. That obviously didn't cut it. So they tried different medicine and injections and therapies. Ya know what this drunken bastard is talkin' 'bout. But ya see, the only difference between ya and me Spiral, was that none of it got to me. After I got out, I was my ol' drunken self 'gain, whoopin; ass in that ring and like only Jack Daniels can. My mind wasn't all scrambled like yours. Ya let 'em get to ya. Now look at ya. You're all fucked up in the head. Ya sit there, talk to yourself and write in your little journal like some little eight year old bitch. Ya turned into some freak of nature. And the worst part 'bout it is you're proud of it. You're proud of psychotic, looney nature. There are certain times that might call for those measures Spiral...and one of those is gonna be at Burnin' Desires.
I bet ya still have our very first match still fresh in the back of your mind Spiral. I bet the idea of ya pinnin' these drunken shoulders to the mat for a three count gives ya a devilish grin and a sense of self confidence for a change. But what ya don't realize is that it's a flase sense of self confidence Spiral. Ya are no better that your partner in crime Crippler. Remember how ya won that match? Yeah, with Crippler's help...with his interference. *Daniels puts his head down and shakes it* What a fuckin' injustice *Dnaiels picks his head back up*. Ya see, every match ya and Crippler may have over us, which ain't many to begin with, it's all cuz neither of ya can cut it on your own, so the other has to have your back. Just like I asked Crippler, what's gonna happen when Crippler is outta the picture and it's just ya out there? Who are ya gonna rely on then? Well, let Jack Daniels tell ya that ya better have an ace up your sleeve cuz there ain't no way...and Jack Daniels means...NO FUCKIN' WAY, that we're gonna let this one slip outta our hands.
Like I said earlier Spiral, certain circumstances require certain measures. And the circumstances that lay in front of us this Sunday night require drastic measures. Ya might call 'em psychotic, hardcore, maybe even fun. Jack Daniels sees 'em as necessary. Whatever it fuckin' requires...hardcore, psychotic, unthinkable and drastic measure is what Jack Daniels has made a livin' off of. You're lookin' at the drunken legend who fell forty plus feet off a jumbotron and through tables to win a match. You're looking at the drunken legend who has been wrapped in barb wire from head to toe...shot with a nail gun...has taken dozens of consecutive chairshot. This IS the drunken legend that has been thrown of the Grand Canyon and still came back the very next week to defend his title.
Ya know Spiral, ya need to stop and think from time to time, it could work to your advantage. Ya need to stop and think who brought ya into this world of wrestlin'. Ya need to stop and think who paved the way for jackasses like ya to make a name for themselves here in this industry. No not him. Keep guessin' though Spiral...I'm sure ya'll get it. No, dammit not him either. Aight fuck it, ya obviously don't know your ass from a hole in the ground. It be moi...Jack Fuckin' Daniels. Back when ya were in this very room half way to your looney state, Jack Daniels was inventin' the hardcore division in this industry. 'Fore this hardcore drunken legend, there was no one willin' or able to take the bumps and deal with the pain that was handed out, except for that one drunken bastard. I led the way for little shits like yourself Spiral. So ya should show me the respect I fuckin' deserve. But that doesn't mean for one fuckin' second that Jack Daniels needs to show it right back to ya. Ya need to earn that respect Spiral. How? Figure it out jackass. But let Jack Daniels be the first to tell ya, not very many have figured that out yet.
So come to Daddy bitch...Jack Daddy Daniels...and let the best show ya how it's done.
*The scene cuts again, except this time we find ourselves in a different location. We seem to be in an alleyway behind some apartment buildings. And now, Daniels and Douglas are by the fire escape of the building. Douglas is sitting on the ladder and Daniels is leaning up against it with one of his arms.*
Evan Douglas: ***MORE EVAN SMACK ON THE TEAM I GUESS/CLOSING THOUGHTS****
Jack Daniels: Ya motherfuckers may have taken everythin' we have thrown at ya and have still managed to get up and come back at us. Does Jack Daniels call it courage or gutsy? Not a fuckin' chance...if anythin' it's pure fuckin' stupidity. Cuz all the beatings we have handed ya...the tables...the barbecues...the stage...everythin' we have put ya through, take that all as just a little preview of what to expect at Burnin' Desires.
Ya bastards have set this up for Absolute Power to lose. Ya think we will fall to the new wave comin' through the NWF. After 3 months withthe titles, ya think we're vulnerable now, and have filled our egos up to the max makin' us overlook our competition. But that's where you're wrong bitches. Ya wanna make this out to be the cinderella story of the NWF. After weeks and weeks of beatings ya have been through, it's 'bout time ya get sweet revenge and the last laugh. But we ain't havin' no fairytale endings here bitches. The bad guys can will and as a matter of fact...they will. Cuz ya see, all the happy endin' bullshit, it's all cliched and eventually, it's all forgotten. But ya see, it's when the bad guys crush all those fairytale believers hopes and dreams of a cliched endin' and causes an uproar and is remembered throughout time. Cuz the fact is, Jack Daniels...Evan Douglas...we will always be remembered as the legends we are...as the champions we are...as the fuckin' greatest that we are. Why? Cuz we'll never fuckin' lose and let any fairytale hype bullshit, or momentum turnin' moments dethrone us as the greatest fuckin' tag team ever to set foot in a squared circle.
A -FUCKIN'-MEN!
One more thing fellas...hell, actually three. When we're all done on Sunday and your respect for Absolute Power is drippin' outta your asses, ya motherfuckers will realize just why...
Jack and Evan: Till then...MOTHERFUCKERS!
*Scene fades to black...*