*Finally, the contestants in the previous match have left ringside and have made their way to the back. The arena dims and the following is heard over the arena's PA system...*
*"Bodies" by Drowning Pool begins to blare throughout the arena, and that can only mean one man is making his way to the ring. The top of the ramp is engulfed in smoke when finally the man, the myth, the legend himself emerges fromthe smoke...Jack Daniels! And of course, the ever so lovely Clarissa is by his side and they both make their way to ringside. What's the deal, Daniels isn't scheduled for a match this week? Well, we're about to find out, because Daniels and Clarissa are in the ring, and Daniels has a mic in his hand as the music fades away.*
Jack Daniels: Well...well...oh fuckin' well, Clash of the Champions is quickly approachin' and Jack Daniels has himself yet 'nother match. But 'fore I get into that, let me side track here for just a second and reflect back to last week...Thursday Night Thunder to be exact. Jack Daniels stepped into the squared circle with 'nother man. There was a lot at stake. The EWA Intercontinental TItle...a historic record that stood for years...and maybe even more important, respect. But yet, that other man proved to wanted it more and walked out the better man. The Golden Boy wanted it just that much more than Jack Daniels did and it showed in the end, when not only did he walk out with the IC Title yet 'gain, but went on to surpass Bunda's unbelievable record IC Title reign of 125 days. That's right Goldie, savour the flavor of gettin' one over on Jack Daniels, cuz it doesn't happen to often. And now that ya have beaten Jack Daniels and have went on to break this record, it can become official. It can be recognized that ya are quite possibly the greatest champion the EWA has ever seen. Had ya never face this drunken bastard onthat given night, your entire premise of being the EWA's greatest IC Champ would have gone right down the toilet along with that big load of crap that Jack Daniels left behind in the toilet fifteen minutes ago. Just keep that in mind Goldie.
Now, onto a more important matter at hand here. Ya see, week in and week out, there's this little fly that keeps pesterin' Jack Daniels. He's like the little engine that couldn't. And each and every week, Jack Daniels puts him in his place, and shows him just how fuckin' easy I could end his sorry, pathtic, meaningless life. But yet, Evan Douglas just doesn't seem to get the message through his thick skull.Jack Daniels beat Evan to damn near death at King of the Ring, but he still wanted more. Daniels damn near ended Evan's life once 'gain last week when I placed him in his casket and tossed him 'round like the little bitch that he is. And yet, he gets up and is still comin' back for more. Ya see, it ain't 'nuff that Jack Daniels was gonna whoop his sorry ass once more at the Clash, oh no. Evan had to go to good ol' Rossy Gates, bitch and whine and have Gates agree to a casket match. Well, isn't that just swell. Now, not only does Jack Daniels get to beat your sorry ass to within an inch of your life, but he gets the honors of puttin' ya in your casket, and puttin' the final nail in the coffin. Do ya realize what ya just did Evan? Do ya realize it bitch? Ya just written, signed and documented your own death certificate jackass. Cuz don't think for one single solitary second that Jack Daniels is gonna take it easy on your sorry ass Evan. DOn't think for one second that Jack Daniels is gonna have sympathy for your sorry ass when your losing blood by the quarts and that final nail is being hammered into the coffin. Bitch, this is the day Jack Daniels has been waitin' for...the day Jack Daniels and Clarissa have been waitin' for...the day Evan Douglas has been taken from this green earth...
****Evan Entrance and 1st speaking part (just talk up some shit to JD, read below to get an idea of where to leave it off at : ) )Jack Daniels: Ya know Evan, your mouth, your mind and your ass don't seem to be in sync here. Your mind seems to be never workin'...your mouth seems to be always runnin'...and your ass seems to be always takin' a whoopin'. And this time, Jack Daniels is gonna take full advantage of that and make it bite ya right back int he ass. I say we up the ante Evan. I say we make this Casket Match, just one of our matches. Yeah ya heard me right Evan...just ONE of our matches. Ya see Evan, I have the feelin' that Jack Daniels is gonna be in the mood to be whoopin' your ass all night long. So I suggest...no no...I'm fuckin' tellin' ya that Jack Daniels is uping the ante and makin' this match a best 2 out of 3 falls match, with the Casket Match being the stipulation for just one of the falls. And bein' the nice drunken bastard that only Jack Daniels can be, I'll tell ya what Evan, ya can go right 'head and name the stipulation for the first fall. Merry fuckin' Christams Evan, cuz this is 'bout all Jack Daniels will ever give ya. Well this and your most deserved ass whoopin'.
*****Evan Speaking Part (Evan makes ladder match as stip and talk some shit, and go on as if to name the second fall stip, but JD will cut you off)Jack Daniels: Whoa whoa there killer. Jack Daniels told ya to name the stipulation for the first fall, not the first fall and the second fall.
****Evan Speaking Part (Basically have Evan bitch how JD already declared the match and the Casket Match as the 3rd fall, therefore Evan should be able to call the 1st and 2nd fall or something like that)Jack Daniels: Alright jackass, I'll tell ya what we're gonna do here. Rather than get in an argument with ya and bring myself down to a second grade level that you're in...Jack Daniels is gonna tell ya how it's gonna go down. Fall 1, Ladder Match. And hangin' just above the ladder will be a piece of paper...no no, not just any paper...a golden ticket. No don't get confused, Jack Daniels ain't talkin' 'bout the golden ticket in those Willy Wonka Chocolate bars. Jack Daniels is talkin' 'bout a golden ticket that on it, gives the right and authority to name the stipulation of the second fall, right there on the spot...to the person who obtains the golden ticket. And if there needs to be a third fall, then it will be the Casket Match. And if by some miracle, ya happen to sneak a fall outta this drunken bastard, then make no mistake 'bout it, that Jack Daniels will put that final nail in your coffin, and may ya forever rest...in...peace.
*****Evan Speaking Part (respond to the match overall and all and talk some shit)Jack Daniels: Get ready for it Evan. Get ready for not just one ass whoopin'...but for three ass whoopin's of your life, all in one night. Damn, Christmas has come early for Jack Daniels this year. Ladder match...Second Match to be named...and a Casket Match. Get ready Evan...get ready for...