(The scene fades in and we find ourselves standing outside the Phoenix state prison. What we are doing here, only one can wonder. But there must be someone around who can answer us this question. And there is the man himself, sitting on the front steps of the Phoenix State Prison...Jack Daniels. Daniels has something with him we haven;t seen in some time come to think of it, his trusty bottle of Old No.7. Daniesl takes a swig and then looks up as he begins to speak...)
Jack Daniels: Ya know it's quite amusin' how people will run as far as they could away from the truth. It's amusin' how people won't even admit to something. And ya know what else is amusin'? Ya know what else is just flat out fuckin' hilarious? Evan Douglas. Ya see, what makes Jack Daniels piss his pants is the fact that Evan makes claims he knows damn well he can't handle...his mouth writes checks that his ass can't cash. It's the same story each and every time Evan puts his ugly mug in front of a camera and starts ramblin' on and on and on. Now Jack Daniels is aware that Evan is in a different state of mind than he ever was. I mean, we never seen a side to him like this...he's not showerin', he's not makin' his little conceited comments, he's not gettin' any from his bitch (Daniels grins). But the only thing that Evan is doin' the same is, he ain't makin' no sense.
Let me ask ya a simple question Evan...a simple yes or no question. Are ya willin' to go to the big house, throw your carreer away and the rest of your life just so ya can put an end to Jack Daniels once and for all...just so ya can kill Jack Daniels? Think 'bout it Evan, it's a serious action with serious consequences to pay. Ya see Evan, even if ya are willin' to take those consequences, which Jack Daniels doubts ya are...in the end, in theory, Jack Daniels will have gotten the better of ya and beaten ya. How ya ask? Cuz your carrer will be shot. Your life will be in a worse state than it is right now. You'll be regretin' every last ounce of what ya did. And all while Jack Daniels is layin' on a thick, soft, white cloud sippin' away on his Old No.7.
But ya see Evan, the difference between ya and I is that Jack Daniels is willin' to take full responsibility for his actions. Jack Daniels is willin' to face the consequences of his actions. You're not...you convince yourself that ya are, but ya ain't foolin' nobody Evan...nobody. Ya can't sit and stare the truth in the eye...the truth that ya absolutely don't stand a fuckin' chance in the world of walkin' outta that cage alive...let alone victorious. You've lost your focus, in addition to your mind. Ya lost a grip on reality Evan. Right now, you're livin' in a cloud of lies...in a cloud of hope...in a cloud so far from reality, one would think ya have some legitimate problems. And what's so ironic 'bout this is, that ya do have some fuckin' serious, legitimate problems starin' ya right in the face Evan. You're already plannin' your victory parade...but tell me Evan, how do ya plan on goin' to your own victory parade with two broken legs, a concussion, severly bruised sternum...and of course as a loser locked up for life? Those are the little details ya need to think 'bout first Evan. Jack Daniels has thought 'bout 'em alrady, and ya know...I'm willin' to do my time to ge rid of the miserable bastard. It's 'bout time someone did.
(Daniels gets up from the steps as he finishes up his bottle of Old No.7 and throws it away. Daniels turns toward the State Police building and walks inside. Inside the building, phones are ringing, criminals are being brought in, some resisting arrest and giving the cops a hard time. Daniels takes this all in as he walks up to the front desk and speaks...)
Jack Daniels: Hey there officer...my name is Jack Daniels and I wanna turn myself in. Here...(Daniels extends his arms as if to insist he be arrested) take me in.
Officer: Take you in...take you in for what?
Jack Daniels: For what? Where the hell have ya been livin', under a rock? Take me in for fuckin' murder...that's what.
Officer: What did you say your name was?
Jack Daniels: Real nice smartass...makin' this difficult I see. My name is Jack Daniels.
Officer: (looking over the computer) There is no warrant for arrest out for Jack Daniels. So there ain't nothing I can do about this. I can't take you in without reason.
Jack Daniels: Are ya resistin' arrest? Are ya resistin' to arrest me...Jack Daniels? Alright fine...but come Thursday night, when ya got a dead corpse lyin' in the middle of a ring in the America West Arena, you're gonna come lookin' for Jack Daniels. So since ya can't take me in just yet, how 'bout Jack Daniels takes a little tour of his new home for the next 25 years to his life.
Officer: Yeah...whatever. Just leave me alone now, go walk around the prison.
(Daniels walks through some doors and metal detectors and pass security. Daniels walks into the cell area as he walks by inmates in their cells. Daniels finally approaches an empty cell with it's door open. Daniels steps inside the cell and begins speaking...)
Jack Daniels: Ya see this cell Evan? There's no way out once the door is slammed shut. And that's exactly the case come Thursday night...King of the Ring...Steel Cage Match. Once ya step inside, there ain't no turnin' back...there ain't no runnin' away from the person who's name you're never gonna forget each and every time ya look in the mirror and see the scars from the ass whoopin' that ya take. There ain't no runnin' from your greatest challenge to date...your greatest fear...Jack Daniels. Just look at yourself Evan. Take a look in the mirror and look into your your eyes and you'll see the fear deep inside. Admit it Evan, when was the last time ya were this worked up for a match? Never. When was the last time someone had gotten under your skin and into your head as much as Jack Daniels has? Never. When was the last time ya actually wanted to kill a man? Never. Ya see Evan, my point is that your takin' part in a game that ya just can't win. And ya brought this all on yourself. Jack Daniels did what he had to do to get to where everyone wants to be...the top. And your bitch ass couldn't deal with the fact that ya were just a mere roadblock that Jack Daniels went through like a piece of paper. Face it bitch, you're just the whippin' boy that Gates throws into the ring and feeds to the wolves. But this time Evan, this time ya fed yourself to the biggest...most hungriest wolf in the pack. Ya see, once ya have a taste of championship gold, ya just want it...need it so much more. And Jack Daniels sure as hell plans on being on top of the EWA moutain by the time your casket is closed for one last time and buried six feet deep. And my road to the top of the mountain all starts on Thursday night with you Evan. Don't think of yourself as a steppin' stone to the top Evan...oh no, not by a fuckin' longshot. You're more of a steppin' stone for someone of the likes of a Joe Lemon.
The truth hurts...don't it bitch?
(Daniels opens the door to the prison cell and walks back out. Daniels makes his way down a hall and outthe back exit of the state prison. Daniels makes his way down the street as he speaks...)
Jack Daniels: But that's only scratchin' the surface. C'mon Evan, out with it already. Why don't ya tell the people what this is really 'bout. Ya couldn't give two shits 'bout that bitch that I relieved ya of. Ya didn't give a flyin' fuck when I damn near ran ya over with my car or even when I beat ya to within an inch of your pathetic life just a few weeks ago. So why don't ya tell 'em what this is really 'bout Evan? Why don't ya tell 'em how all of this started back 'fore the EWA reopened it's doors. Yeah, it was the NEWF/NPWA, when Jack Daniels dropped ya like a bad habit and told ya to hit the road cuz ya were givin' us a bad name. From that point on, ya knew damn well ya would never be as big a superstar as Jack Daniels. Ya knew damn well ya would never be as good as Jack Daniels is on his worst day. That's when the jealousy started sinkin' in for ya. Then, fast forward to the EWA. Jack Daniels offers ya a spot in the greatest faction to ever set foot in the ring. And like the gullible, naive sunuva bitch that ya are, ya took the bait and fell for Jack Daniels set up...hook, line and sinker. And then the jealousy started takin' over your body and mind. Ya could only wish to be as cunnin' and coniving a master planner as Jack Daniels.
But what ya should wish for is to overcome your greatest fear in life. Ya see, it ain't having to go one on one with The Drunk One, although that is a firghtenin' thought for many people. What ya fear more than anythin' else is admittin' one simple fact...admittin' that your a Jack Daniels mark. As much as a mark that ya are, ya can't come anywhere close to admittin' it. And that's exactly why you're in this disillusional state that your in. YA never thought ya would see the day when you idol...your hero...your drunken legend would turn on your pathetic ass and make an example outta ya. Ya never thought ya would see the day when Jack Daniels took all your respect, all your compliments and all your other bullshit and spit it right back in your face. Well rise and shine motherfucker, cuz that day is here. I tried to let ya off easy, but ya just wouldn't have any of it. Well now it's time ya learn your leasson the fuckin' hard way...for some people, it's the only way they learn that...
Ya know, it's only fittin' that if I showed exactly where Jack Daniels is gonna be spending the rest of his life, then I need to show exactly where Evan Douglas is gonna be spendin' the rest of his life.
(Daniels continues walking through some cold, dark alleyways and streets. Finally Daniels sees where he needs to go. As the camera follows him, we can see some dead trees up ahead, with black crows and vultures flying from one to another. There's an even creepier feeling now than before. Wait a second, we're in a cemetary. What the...Jack Daniels brought us to the darkest, creepiest cemetary one could imagine. Daniels walks through the cemetary as he continues spekaing...)
Jack Daniels: I hope ya like it Evan, cuz this is where ya'll be spendin' the rest of your life, whether ya like it or not. Ya have no say...no choice in the matter. Ya wanted to bring this up a notch...to 'nother level. Ya wanted to to be noticed. Well Evan, ya brought it up to a level that ya just can't handle. And ya'll sure as hell be noticed alright... Ya'll be noticed as the sorry sunuva bitch who didn't know when to stop and his carreer, and ultimately his life was ended by none other than the man...the myth...the legend himself...Jack Daniels. There's no better way to go to sleep, and in your case a permanent sleep, than after a double shot of Jack Daniels. And come Thursday night...King of the Ring Evan, you're gonna take your shots of Jack Daniels straight no chaser. (Daniels reaches an empty spot with a tombstone already in place and looks at it as the camera gets a closeup of what it says)
Till then...MOTHERFUCKER! MUAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(Scene fades to black...)