(The scene opens to a beautiful day. The sun is out and shining bright. It's the type of day you and the rest of your family have a picnic in the park. The type of day you go out to fly a kite. Or the type of day...you go to an elementary school? Well, that's what that sign over there suggests we are...The Youth Center Elementary School. But it's summer, why would we be here in the summer. Well maybe our two hosts of this hard-hitting, verbally assaulting promo can fill us in on why we're here...the EWA Tag Team Champions...Cold Harding Cash and Jack Daniels. Both men are standing outside the school with the EWA Tag Titles so convienently draped around their shoulders. Cash begins speaking...)

Cold Harding Cash: Jack, are you going to tell me what we're doing at the Youth Center Elemantary School?

Jack Daniels: And ruin the surprise? I don't fuckin' think so...

Cold Harding Cash: Let me guess, you never finished the second grade did you Jack? And now you're back so you can finally move on to the third grade?

Jack Daniels: Alright, alright. If ya wanna act like a jackass 'bout this, I'll tell ya exactly what we're doin' here. Ya see, next week we gotta defend these bad boys right here *Daniels taps the tag title*...our hard earned EWA Tag Team Titles. And we gotta defend 'em against the Youth. So Jack Daniels figured...

Cold Harding Cash: ...What better way to get a look at our competition than to come to an elementary school?

Jack Daniels: Exactly. Ya see, the Youth likes to go on and on and fuckin' on 'bout how they are the up and comers...how they are the future of this business. They keep preachin' their incoherent bullshit how guys like Jack Daniels and Hardin' Cash have had their runs in this business and it's time for us to step aside. Do ya hear that Cash...time for US to step aside?

Jack Daniels: So why don't we just go inside and see what the future of America and the future of professional rasslin' holds for us.

(Daniels and Cash walk through the front doors of the school and down the hallway...)

Cold Harding Cash: Wait a second Jack...it's July, there's no school in July.

Jack Daniels: Of course there is...what, ya never heard of summer school Cash? That's where they gather all the retarded sunuva bitches like Haven and Kage and force 'em to learn shit cuz their thick heads and their pea brains won't allow 'em to learn a fuckin' thing. But ya know, that's a damn shame that Haven and Kage have such a disability like that. That's why today, we're gonna show ya motherfuckers just why we're the EWA Tag Team Champions and why the words Alexander Haven, Chris Kage and EWA Tag Team Champions will never be used in the same sentence ever 'gain.

(Daniels and Cash approach a door that's open. We look in and we see the room is filled with about twenty five or thirty kids and one teacher. Daniels speaks...)

Jack Daniels: Hey yo teach...the bastard that runs this place...what's his name?

Cold Harding Cash: The principal...

Jack Daniels: Yeah, the principal...he wants to see ya. He said you're fired or some shit like that.

(The teacher screams and runs out of the room in search of the principal leaving the kids unattended.)

Jack Daniels: Aw would ya look at that, who's gonna watch these kids now? *Daniels grins* Ya see these little shmucks sitting here at there little desks with their pencils to the paper Haven and Kage? Ya see, what ya don't realize is that ya are just like these little bastards in that you're trained like 'em...you're fuckin' whooped like 'em. Someone tells ya to do something, and both ya sorry motherfuckers go and do it like the bitches that ya are. Collins says pull down my pants and suck my dick or ya want have any titles, and what do ya know, suddenly Collins is gettin' more head Ron Jeremy.

Cold Harding Cash: Alright kids, listen up. I'm going to ask yo all a very simple question and we want you to answer. What do you want to be when you grow up? How about you in the back?

Kid#1: I want to be a lawyer.

Jack Daniels: Just what we need...'nother lawyer, real great. As if we don't have 'nuff of 'em assholes tryin' to milk money out of every little situation. Hey kid, what 'bout ya...what do ya wanna be when ya grow up?

Kid#2: I wanna be a junkie when I grow up.

Cold Harding Cash: HA, real funny kid. Just keep watching television all your life and you will be just like Haven or Kash.

Jack Daniels: Damn, doesn't any little bastard here wanna do something worthwhile when they grow up?

Kid#3: I wanna be a professional wrestler when I grow up.

Kid#4: Yeah me too.

Jack Daniels: Well would ya look at that. We got two youths here that want to grow up and take over the very business that me and Cash run right now. We got an Alexander haven and a Crhis Kage on our hands here today, how fuckin' convenient. Ya know, time and time 'gain, ya'll here these rasslin' marks talkin' 'bout how the young stars of today have to step up and take over the business. How they have to step up and take what's theirs. What's theirs? No no...ya see that's where all ya marks are wrong cuz it ain't theirs by a fuckin' longshot. It belongs to Jack Daniels and to Hardin' Cash and everyone else who has been year since day one bustin' their ass. Ya see Haven and Kage, ya just can't expect for any of this to be handed over to ya. Ya can't expect for these tag titles to be handed to ya outta the kindness of our hearts. Ya bastards want these *Daniels points to the tag titles*? Ya bastards want us to hand over the business's fate over to ya? I don't fuckin' think so. Ya can't expect anythin' jackasses. Ya want it, ya gotta step up and take it from right outta our hands. But don't think it's gonna be like takin' candy from a baby cuz we got a grip on 'em tighter than a fuckin' vice. We've been 'round since day one makin' a name for ourselves and fightin' night in and night out to get to the poistion we're at today. And now ya think ya can just walk up and take that from us? All that hard work...all the blood, sweat and Ol' No.7...I don't fuckin' think so.

(Suddenly, a bell rings and all the kids in the room get up and start running around the room. It must be like their recess and since it's too damn hot outside, they have it inside. Some kids go over and start coloring with cranyons, while other play catch with a ball...the typicl recess stuff. But the two kids, the two Haven and Kage wannabes get up and begin talking trash to each other like they're cutting a promo...)

Kid#3: I'm gonna beat you soooo bad your grandma is going to feel it.

Kid#4: My grandma is dead.

Kid#3: Ok, then your mama is going to feel it.

Kid#4: My mommy is a crack whore, at least that's what my daddy calls her.

Kid#3: Oh yeah, you know what I call her? *The kid turns around, directs his ass at the other kid and...FARTS!*

Kid#4: Oh yeah...*he turns around and farts himself, we got ourselves a fart war*

Jack Daniels: Would ya listen to that? It sounds just like Haven and Kage tryin' to cut a promo. But of course, it ain't your sorry asses that are at fault for that. Ya see, both of these pathetic bastards are projects straight outta New York. Ya gotta understand that's the standard out there. The pathetic motherfuckers out there don't know the difference between cuttin' a promo and cuttin' the cheese. Ya see fellas, it ain't quite that easy out here. This here is the big leagues and your little pathetic tactics ain't gonna cut it here. You're lookin' at the best of the fuckin' best. And since you're probably thinkin' that we're paper champions, let Jack Daniels put it to ya like this. Yeah, we might not have beaten anybody just yet. But do we have to? Look at all the other pathetic tag teams on this roster. It speaks for itself and we have proven time and time 'gain that we are the very best at what we do...and that's conduct verbal tirades and whoop asses. We have proven it to everyone else, and this Wednesday night, we're gonna prove it to ya two pieces of shit. Go 'head and talk all the trash ya want bitches, but all the words in the world ain't gonna save your asses. The EWA was built on names like Smirt, Bunda, and Prodigy durin' it's first run. Now it's bein' taken to 'nother level on names like Hardin' Cash and Jack Daniels. This shit here is ours...and we ain't 'bout to let two overrated pieces of cocksuckin' shit take it from us...not today...not Wednesday...NEVER!

Jack Daniels: YA know, ya bastards think you're so damn clever don't ya? Ya piece it all together and call yourselves The Youth. It's evolution that keeps the world turnin' and turnin'. One day, the odler, established species willcease to perfom their functions, whether it be live or rassle. And the only ones left will be the younger generation, the ones that evolve into the older and established. Ya see, it's all one big cycle. And ya motherfuckers think ya got it all figured out and cornered. Ya are tryin' to damn hard to determine your fate...to determine you spot in this business, leadin' the peopls to believe that ya will be the only ones left after everyone eventually calls it quits. Well guess what motherfuckers? Just in case ya haven't noticed by now, Jack Daniels doesn't quit...in fact has never uttered the words "I Quit" durin' a match or any other time. And this time ain't no different. Jack Daniels ain't 'bout ready to quit. SO ya bastards have got two options on your hands. Ya can either wait it out until the day Jack Daniels can no longer use his legs, arms or his extremities, thus dubbin' him crippled. Or...or, ya can kill Jack Daniels yourself and get rid of your biggest problem right off the fuckin' bat. Cuz as long as Jack Daniels is 'round, there'll never be any room for some sorry ass motherfuckers like yourselves in MY spotlight.

(Daniels and Cash leave the room and head out of the building, until a grin comes across Daniels face and he turns the corner and Cash follows him...)

Cold Harding Cash: Where the hell you going Jack?

Jack Daniels: Oh just gonna spike up their mid-day snack.

(Daniels walks into the cafeteria and into the kitchen where the kids go to get their lunch and such. Daniels spits a large tray that has those little cartons of milk on them. Daniels opens up one of those milks and dumps it out. he pulls out a bottle of Old No.7 from his back pocket, opens it up...oh no don't tell me...he just filled up that little carton of mil with Old No.7. Those little kids are going to drink Old No.7. Daniels does this to a few more cartons of milk...)

Jack Daniels: They've just had their Jack Daniels...STRAIGHT NO CHASER! MUAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!