*The scene opens and we find ourselves in the heart of New York City. But something just doesn't seem right. No it's not the fact that there's no snow on the ground. No, it's not the fact that there are no people out and about on what seems like a beautiful day. No it's not the fact that there's no loud noises that only New York is famous for, cars honking, people yelling obscenities and bums asking for money. Wait a second, that's it. Look there...it's the Twin Towers. It's the World Trade Center buildings. But how can that possibly be? Could it be a mirage or our imagination? Maybe these two guys have something to do with this...Jack Daniels and Evan Douglas. What is Absolute Power up to now?*

Jack Daniels: Once upon a time, there stood the two biggest...

Evan Douglas: Uhhh...Jack. What the hell are you doing?

Jack Daniels: What do ya mean what is Jack Daniels doin'? He's givin' these folks out here a little history lesson.

Evan Douglas: Sounds like you're going to put em to sleep.

Jack Daniels: And what's wrong with that? Ya got bums like Grady Smith and Kanyon puttin' people to sleep with their words quicker than Kevorkian could with his prescriptions.

Evan Douglas: Good point Jack. Continue on...

Jack Daniels: Like this drunken bastard was sayin'...once upon a time, there stood the two biggest, most significant buildings in this world. Kinda funny to see 'em standin' 'gain, isn't it? But not quite as funny as seein' two older things standing up once 'gain. Yeah, ya got Jack Daniels right...he's talkin' 'bout Grady Smith and Kanyon. Wait, let me guess, both of ya knew this drunken absatrd was gonna say that 'fore he actually did, right? Buncha marks out in this world Evan.

Evan Douglas: ******Some introductory smack, play off the marks bit in a way saying how we gained two more marks from last week when we beat Smirt and Haywood, and now them or something***********

Jack Daniels: *Looking up at the background set of the WTC buildings* Ya know something, this was the C-Notes just a couple of years ago. They were the two biggest, brightest, most notable stars this industry had ever seen. They stood their ground and marked their spot in history. Both stood just as tall as the other. But Jack Daniels wonders, who would be the one with the long pointy thing at the top...Kanyon or Grady? What do ya think Evan?

Evan Douglas: I say Grady. That extra bit would have come result of his ego.

Jack Daniels: Ya see Evan, Jack Daniels disagrees. Grady was a short sunuva bitch. That's gotta be Kanyon. I mean just like the antennea thing sticks out on the top there, so does Kanyon. The sorry sunuva bitch sticks out like a sore thumb. Between him runnin' 'round and askin' everyone who's better him, that real bad haircut and that fuckin' annoyin' lisp, how could ya not miss him? And of course no one is gonna tell him the God honset truth that just 'bout everyone on this planet is better than Kanyon. Ya would think by now that he would come to realize that the possible answers to his little question have rapidly jumped from one or two possibilities to 'bout three thousand five hundred twenty nine possibilities. And ya Jack Daniels is one of 'em...Evan Douglas is as well. Absolute Power is one of 'em. But don't kid yourself Kanyon, we ain't talkin' 'bout the now possibilities...we're talkin' 'bout then.

Please Kanyon, don't think. Don't overwork your brain Kanyon, cuz quite honestly, it's startin' to stink worse than these New York City sewers. Don't reminice back to the one day where Kanyon pulled the largest upset in history out of his flatlinin' ass, and beat everyones' drunken hero. I bet Kanyon is just itchin' to bring that up. Well congradu-fuckin'-lations jerkoff. I hope ya savored the falvor of that one Kanyon. I hope ya have it right in the back of your mind. I hope ya remember the fact that it took five guys to jump a lonely Jack Daniels. But as ya can see, things just aren't the same anymore Kanyon. Ya got yourself an ol' Granny Smith there that this drunken bastard has bitch slapped more times than his drunken memory can recall. While Jack Daniels got himself the future of this business watchin' his drunken back. Ya can have all the fun ya want Kanyon. Ya can dress yourself up like a clown, with a nice big red nose, long pointy shoes and a bad accent and come on down to the ring and pull off all the tricks ya want Kanyon. Be my fuckin' drunken guest. And like the clown ya are...the end results will be of Jack Daniels and Evan Douglas laughin'...not only with ya...but at ya when your handed your sorry asses by the damn best tag team in this tourney.

Evan Douglas: *******Evan Smack********

Jack Daniels: Grady...Fuckin'...Smith. How long has it been? Who the fuck cares, right? What matters here Grady is Jack Daniels and not ya. And that's how it's always been throughout your entire pathetic career. Ya knew no one gave two shits 'bout ya. So ya took the easy way out...what was best for ya. Ya locked your lips on Smirt's ass and went 'long for the ride. Yeah that got ya places, but did it really? Can ya look yourself in the mirror and actually admit to yourself that ya deserve all the credit for your career...that ya deserve all the credit for your accolades and your position in this business? Can ya Grady? I didn't fuckin' think so.

Evan Douglas: How the hell can he? One look into that mirror and he'll crack the shit out of it.

Jack Daniels: Yeah, you're not fuckin' kiddin'. And ya know what all those broken pieces of mirror are to Grady? His so called marks. Himself looking into a thousand mirrors and convincin' himself he actually has himself a followin'. That's what ya have built yourself up to be *pointing to the standing WTC building*. That's the image ya created for yourself, and if anyone actually saw ya like that...well either they were smokin' some good shit or were highly disillusional.

Evan Douglas: Could be these fumes from the subways Jack..they're fucking killing me.

Jack Daniels: *Daniels looks over to the side to someone off the screen and signals* Kill the background... *Suddenly the background we've been seeing all this time of the WTC buildings comes falling down like a tree...TIIIIIMMBEEERRRR! Daniels and Douglas have to jump out of the way as it almost lands right on them.* Damn bum can't even do that right. No wonder he ain't got no job. Let that be a lesson to ya Grady...cuz that could be ya sooner than ya think *camera pans over to the bum who's walking away with his shopping cart filled with cans scratching his ass. Camera pans back over to where the background set was to see nothing where the WTC buildings were once standing.*

Take a very close look Grady. What do ya see? No, it ain't a trick question...just tell your drunken hero what ya see. Don't be 'fraid Grade...just say it. That's it...it's NUTTIN' NADA ZERO ZILCH PUPKUS...ABSOLUTELY-FUCKIN'-NUTTIN'! Good for ya Grady, ya got that right. But the test ain't over yet, got one more simple question for ya Grady. Now, for one ass whoopin' that will last ya a lifetime courtesy of Absolute Power, can ya tell this drunken game show host, what does this represent. *Daniels looks at his drunken watch as we her Evan's voice in the background humming the Final Jeopardy music* Time's up bitch. What does it symbolize Grady? No, nuttin' was the answer to the last question einstein. What this symbolizes is not only your pathetic career Grady, but the career of your looney teammate there as well. Yeah sure, once upon a time, when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, both of your careers might have sttod as tall as these buildings once did. They might have symbolized just how much ya meant to the industry. But now...present time...ya mean ABSOLUTE SHIT! You're as good as this rubble in the fuckin' ground gettin' stepped on day in and day out. And by who else? The people who take over what ya once owned. *Daniels takes a few steps on is standing on the rubble now. He opens up a bottle of Old No.7, takes a long swig before spilling some on the ground for all his drunkaholics.*

Evan Douglas: ******More Smack********

Jack Daniels: For all we care, ya can call us Bin Laden and Hussein. Ya can call us the leaders of this industry, ready to go to fuckin' war with everyone out there. The way this drunken bastard sees it, everyone is the enemy cuz they all are goin' for what Jack Daniels needs and wants. And for two greedy motherfuckers like yourselves, already triple crown winners, to be steppin' into my territory...into our territory...well Jack Daniels doesn't have to tell ya what happens. Just look at what Absolute Power did to the so-called legends in Smirt and 'Wood. And don't kid yourselves fellas, it wasn't sheer luck...and it won't be this week either.

Evan Douglas: ******Parting Smack throw in a catch phrase and till then motherfucker********

*And with that the scene fades.*