*Fade in. No it's not a coincidence that your eyes are seeing nothing but green now, because that's exactly what we are seeing. nothing but green. And I don't mean this lettering either, I'm talking about the Hudson Bay which for some reason is green. No not green from NYC sewage being dumped into it or dead bodies. It's all one uniform bright green color. And what's that noise? No, it's not the typical sounds of honking horns, construction crews and planes flying. It sounds like a bunch of bagpipes. Wait just a damn minute. It all makes sense now...it's the craziest fucking day of the year, especially in New York City. It's Saint Patrick's Day. The city is banging with bagpipes playing, people marching and people getting completely wasted. And on that note, there's everyones' drunken tag team...Absolute Power.*

Jack Daniels: What's this all 'bout Evan?

Evan Douglas: They have a parade every year on St. Patrick's Day.

Jack Daniels: Ain't talkin' 'bout these damn people marchin' 'round like silly drunks. Jack Daniels is talkin' 'bout your brew. Why the hell is it that skunky green color?

Evan Douglas: Oh you mean this. I don't know, guess it's in the spirit of St. Pattie's Day or some shit. Hey, why don't ya get some green Ol' No.7?

Jack Daniels: *Daniel's eyes open and widen as he looks up at Evan with a "are you fucking kidding me look".* Are ya fuckin' kiddin' me? Who's ever heard of green Ol' No.7? Wait, why even think of such a thing and disrespect the finset nectar the liquor gods have ever created?

Evan Douglas: Who me? No, not me. But I know two bitches that probably will.

Jack Daniels: And why will they?

Evan Douglas: Cuz they know that's about all they can do to us.

Jack Daniels: So true Evan...so fuckin' true. Well if they think they can disrespect us and make us look bad in front of the rasslin' world, then we'll just have to make those bastards look bad in front...ya got it...a drunken New York City. Let's go Evan.

Evan Douglas: *Looks into the camera* Oh shit, you know what this can only mean.

*Yeah, Jack Daniels and Evan Douglas about to do what they do best, and tear into thier opponents like only they know how. Only question know is, what exactly does Jack Daniels have in mind. We see Absolute Power head off towards the actual parade. The scene cuts and we find ourselves at the head of the parade. The streets are crowded with hardcore drunks, people in suits and ties on their liquid lunch breaks, and thos young drunkens who skipped school to get wasted. Good for them! Wait a second, look at that float at the head of the parade. It's Jack Daniels and Evan Douglas standing atop the float waving to the drunk crowd, from that float with Absolute Power written on it in huge green lettering. Uh oh...Daniels has got himself a Supersoaker 90,000. Whatever, close enough. He's not...Daniels is pouring a bottle of Old No.7 into it and SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH! Out into the drunken crowd he sprays that Old No.7. God bless everyones' drunken hero. Daniels picks himself up a megaphone.*

Jack Daniels: New Yawk Ciiityyyyyyyyyy....are ya motherfuckers drunk 'nuff yet? *Crowd explodes into some incoherent response, meaning they're fucking plastered.* Close 'nuff. And if you're not yet, you're 'bout to be cuz everyones' drunken hero is here and he's 'bout to serve ya'll up a round of Jack Daniels that is sure to knock ya on your drunk asses quicker than Absolute Power is gonna knock the C-Notes are their ass. But ya see, unlike ya, those elder bastards need seat cushions 'fore they land on their asses. Ya know how those hip bones get brittle when the hair starts gettin' grey. As a matter of fact, would ya believe that Granny Smith and Chris Kanyoufinallykillme are actually here at this parade? If ya wanna see those gimp bastards, just wait 'round for 'bout 6 hours until they finally make it up this way with their walkers. They're back in the Irish seniors of America area or some shit. But ya know, they could have very well been in the float right behind us, the Absolute Power marks float.

Evan Douglas: Uh oh...there's that word again Jack.

Jack Daniels: Yeah the infamous word. Ya know, the C-Notes must have lived their dream just a few weeks back. they stepped in the ring 'gainst two people they just want to be like soo fuckin' much. They stepped in the ring 'gainst two guys that they idolize and try and act like every second of every minute of every hour of every fuckin' day. And not only did their dream come true, but so did their fantasy. Their fantasy of beatin' 'em in the squared circle. Let Jack Daniels be the first to ask ya fellas, what was it like to beat your idols...Absolute Power? What was it like? Was it like the first time ya kissed a girl? Was it like the first time ya ever had sex, which some doubt both of ya ever had...but that's 'nother story for 'nother time. Was it like christmas mornin' when ya opened up that gift ya wanted all year long? Well whatever it was like, Jack Daniels has only one piece of advice for ya. Savour the flavor bitches, cuz it sure as hell ain't ever, and this drunken Irish bastard means e-e-e-e-ever, gonna happen 'gain. Ya can try asking for it, ya can try praying for it, hell ya can fuckin' hope to find a little leprechaun and make him grant ya the wish of beatin' Absolute Power 'gain. Do what ya gotta do...but the one thing ya won't be doin' is denyin' Absolute Power of where they deserve to be. In that squared fuckin' circle battlin' in the finals to be the tag team of the drunken millenium.

Evan Douglas: Uh Jack...that was more like 5 pieces of advice.

Jack Daniels: These drunken fools out here are to damn drunk to count...who cares. *The majority of the drunken crowd hears Daniels little remark and look ready to charge the float.* Uh oh. *Daniels gets on the megaphone.* WHO OUT THERE WANTS TO GET FUCKED UP?! *Crowd goes crazy for liquor of course. So Daniels empties another bottle of Old No.7 into his supersoaker 90,000 and sprays it all into the crowd.* They're all yours bro.

Evan Douglas: ******Evan Smack*******

Jack Daniels: Well...well...oh fuckin' well...Granny Smith. The man who found his claim as Smirt's ass licker, 'fore becomin' Jack Daniels bitch...'fore becomin' Kanyon's property. And what are ya now? Fuck me if this drunken bastard knew. Ya see, that's where ya have gone wrong Granny. Ya left the scene as one half of the C-Notes...as some silly little comic relief ass clown tryin' to make people laugh at your promos, rather than fuckin' cry and make 'em want to kill themselves. So 'longside the world's biggest ass clown, ya became a fuckin' joke. Just 'nother silly little has been bastard that no one gave two shits 'bout. And now, ya come back still as one half of the Clown-Notes, but with no purpose. Back when ya were part of the Ghetto Warriors, or the No Limit Soldiers, or Dark Force Rising, or even by your fuckin' self...ya had a purpose. Whether it was to completely destroy the opposition, or win yourself the World title, or even revolutionize this business...the fact is ya were out there with a purpose and it made ya a bad motherfucker. Not bad 'nuff to beat Jack Daniels when it counted the most, but nonetheless, ass clownin' 'round wasn't even in your vocabulary. But now...ya have the opportunity to go out on top. Ya have the opportunity to join the ranks only a selct few have done and win two tournaments in their career. But instead, your here to "have fun". Shit Granny, everyone here in New York City is here to have fun today. And ya should be here to be made fun of.

Ya know Granny, Jack Daniels heard ya loud and clear last time when ya said ya look across the ring and see an empty bottle of Jack Daniels, with a deflated look in his drunken eyes. All those Labbatt Blues must have blurred your vision. Ya should really read the label 'fore consumin' too many of those things Granny. Let Jack Daniels tell ya what he saw in your eyes that very night just a few weeks back. He saw ice. He saw freezin' ice. Back in the day, Jack Daniels used to see fire...nuttin' but pure blazin' fuckin' fire. And even this drunken bastard had a hard time puttin' it out with his Ol' No.7. And now, I see nuttin' but ice...cold fuckin' frozen ice that's 'bout to be melted by the fire of Absolute Power and turn into tears from pain...sorrow...and regret of ever fuckin' with Absolute Power and steppin' in their way of becomin' the tag team millenium. Tell 'em Evan.

Evan Douglas: *******Evan Smack*******

Jack Daniels: Christopher Kanyoushutthefuckup? No one like's listenin' to your sorry ass babblin' on and on and fuckin' on 'bout the stupidest damn shit one could possible think of...only ya, Kanyon, can think of. And if ya think that's just what Jack Daniels thinks, then let's take a little survey. *Daniels gets on the megaphone again.* WHO WANTS KANYON TO SHUT THE FUCK UP?!

Crowd: EVERYBODY!

Jack Daniels: Did ya hear that Kanyon? Your own fuckin' people ant ya to shaddup. Well actually, right now they're Jack Daniel's people seein' as how their all shitfaced like their drunken hero. But their your hometown people and they can't stand ya. Is it the fact that ya are as annoyin' as a mosquito on crack? Could be. Is it the fact that just like your half C-Note brutha, ya are in this tourney shindig just to "have fun"? Possibly. Is it the fact that every single time ya get on the subject of Jack Daniels, ya start drinkin' yourself and feel the need to boost your New York sized ego by lettin' everyone know ya have beaten Jack Daniels on this ocassion and that ocassion? Prolly. Yeah well congradu-fuckin'-lations Kanyon...ya have accomplished somethin' in your career worth mentionin'. But ya don't stop there do ya? Of course not cuz like this drunken Irish bastard said, your as annoyin' as an ass itch. Ya need to remind Jack Daniels the fact that ya yourself are a multi World Champ...the fact that ya yourself are a tournament winner and a triple crown winner. What ya think Jack Daniels can't remember? Ok, so maybe this drunken mind tends to forget a few things. But that's not it, ya play this little game of tryin' to make everyones' drunken hero jealous. Am I? No. But what Jack Daniels is, is pissed. The fact that a piece of scum like yourself is in an elite group of people and Jack Daniels isn't but should...it lights a fire under this drunken ass. And the fact that ya and Granny over there walked away with a lucky win over Absolute Power in the round robin, just adds fuel to this fire, makin' it a blazin' inferno. And now it's up to ya to put it out. Only question is...can ya Kanyon. Chris Kanyouputthisfireout? Chris Kanyoustopabsolutepower? I don't fuckin' think so. What do ya think Evan?

Evan Douglas: *****Evan Smack*****

Jack Daniels: Here's a question that will mindfuck ya bastards for the rest of your lives. Who's better than the C-Notes? Since your over inflated heads can't seem to come up with an answer...maybe these drunkaholics can help ya out a bit. *Daniels grabs his drunken megaphone.* WHO'S BETTER THAN THE C-NOTES?!

Crowd: ABSOLUTE POWER!

Jack Daniels: A million and one fuckin' drunks can figure out the answer to that question, yet two sorry suns a bitches sittin' on their rockin' chairs don't have a fuckin' clue. They don't have a clue that their road is comin' to an immediate halt, and Absolute Power is gonna be the ones who put 'em back in their places of history. And 'fore ya know it jackasses, we'll have our own place in history. But not 'fore we put the Cock-Notes where they belong...on the sidelines playin' checkers and watchin' Absolute Power take over like they should. And as ya bastards sit in your rockin' chairs, reminiscin' and tradin' old war stories ya had in the ring, there's gonna be one that both of ya have in common...there's gonna be one fact stuck in the back of your minds that no amnesia or Alzheimer's could ever get rid of. No, it's not the ol' sayin' he who laughs last laughs best, even though that's gonna be us. It's the good ol' sayin' and simple fact that...

Evan Douglas: ****Any Closing Evan Smack, maybea till then motherfuckers or just another mark type thing, whatever your feeling bro*****

*Daniels loads up his Supersoaker 90,000 once more with a bottle of Old No.7 and begins spraying it all over the crowd. Daniels looks into the camera, lips being read as sying "Last call motherfuckers", and sprays the Old No.7 right into the lens of the camera, thus drowning it. Scene fades.*