(The scene opens and we find ourselves in a hotel room. The camera pans the room, but no one is seen. But we do notice that the sliding door to the blacony is open. The camera makes it's way over and onto the balcony, where we find none other than Jack Daniels. Daniels is sitting in achair, and next to him in the other chair is his little buddy Seven. Daniels doesn't take notice of the camera right away as we catch the two of them in the middle of a conversation.)
Jack Daniels: Look Seven, will ya stop. I already told ya, it means nuttin' to me. Well, not exactly nuttin', but this is a one time deal alright. so get over it. (A moment goes by) Oh will ya just relax little buddy. I ain't gonna forget 'bout ya one bit. Ya know, you're overreactin' 'bout this. Just cuz I'm your only friend in this world doesn't mean you're my only friend in existence. I got a score to settle and it can't be done by myself. (A moment passes) Oh, now how are ya gonna help me? Be realistic, will ya Seven?
(Daniels turns to finally realize the camera is on him and begins speaking to the camera...)
Jack Daniels: OH, Jack Dnaiels didn't hear ya come in. Well, we both know why you're here, so plant your ass in that corner here while Jack Daniels tells how just how it's gonna be. In case ya were wonderin' just what my little buddy and I were discussin' here, well he's just a little jealous cuz Jack Daniels is gonna team up with th e man who saved his career and maybe his life just last week...Erik Draven. I mean yeah, my little buddy has helped me tremendously along with my career and life. But ya see, last week after I beat the Cashman yet 'gain, I was backed into a corner and outnumbered. Ya see, that's the only way that pathetic suns a bitches who know they can't cut it by themselves, know how to deal with things. Little Mikey D and BJ, the big men that they really are, figured they would take out a legend's career. How brave of ya bastards. But someone up 'bove was watchin' my carcass cuz 'fore BJ could put that glove on and apply the Gas Mask and rearrange my face, out came a saviour in the form of Erik Draven.
Ya see, Erik Draven and Jack Daniels never really saw eye to eye. Ya see, it's rather ironic in a way that it was Erik Draven who saved Jack Daniels from Armageddon. Cuz each and every time that Erik Draven and I were to step in that ring 'gainst one 'nother, Jack Daniels would be out here preachin' to everyone that Draven's time is up and should do this industry a favor by retirin' his fossil ass. Hell, just 2 weeks ago, Jack Daniels actually went outta his way and went to a prehistoric musuem to prove a point to the bastard. Boy, am I glad that he didn't take my word and retire, cuz if he did, Jack Daniels would be layin' on an operatin' bed right now havin' his face reconstructed. So this I say to ya Erik, ya just sit back and relax cuz ya have already done 'nuff for Jack Daniels. Ya have done more than I could have ever imagine. Ya just let Jack Daniels hand out all the ass whoopens, cuz believe me, these motherfuckers deserve every little bit of it. And ya better believe Erik, that if by some chance your down and in trouble...Jack Daniels will save your ass without even thinkin' twice. I got your back cuz ya have already got mine.
Jack Daniels: Now as if little Mikey D and BJ weren't cowardly 'nuff, they went 'head and recruited 'nother jackass in the name of Evan Douglas. Now Jack Daniels would love nuttin' more than to whoop the ass of the one who's behind all of this, little Mikey D, but he has himself a little Television Title much. Oh how much fun. So instead, Jack Daniels has to worry 'bout Evan Douglas and Bazooka Joe. Now BJ and Jack Daniels are no strangers. In fact, we have gone toe to toe on a few ocassions. And hell, we've even teamed up together on one ocassion. Not while Jack Daniels knows for a damn fact, that BJ is gonna walk out here and brag on and on and fuckin' on 'bout how he beat Jack Daniels just a few weeks ago. Well congradu-fuckin'-lations BJ. Ya picked up a win 'gainst a lonely, a troubled, a depressed Jack Daniels whose life was seemingly fallin' 'part. Well, that just goes to show that ya were undoubtedly on top of your game. Oops...(Daniels wipes his mouth) Let me wipe the sarcasm cuz it's just oozin' outta this mouth here. And ya know what really gets Jack Daniels? It's the fact how ya just somehow seem to ignore the fact that Jack Daniels beat ya when it counted most. I was on top of the world with sixteen pounds of gold 'round my drunken waist. Ya tried to dethrone me, but ya couldn't...plain and simple. And then, we even teamed together 'gainst the risn' force of Marcus Hailey and Grady Smith. We lost...and do ya know why we lost? Cuz ya dropped the ball BJ, that's fuckin' why. Hell, ya even admitted yourself the very next week so don't even think of playin' it off that Jack Daniels picked up the loss cuz it was his shoulders that got pinned. That Pin Puller was meant for Jack Daniels and nobody else. Ya knew...Hailey knew...hell, the entire rasslin' world knew it. But Jack Daniels didn't know it, cuz I actually believed in ya. I actually thought that we could work together as a cohesive unit. Well, I was wrong 'bout that. And I was wrong 'bout ya. But the ass whoopen that's gonna be handed to ya on Sunday night will be right on the money bitch.
And then there was one...one egotistical asshole who head it so fuckin' inflated that it can barely make it through the curtains and onto the top of the entrance ramp...Evan Douglas. Let me ask ya somethin' Evan...what were ya thinkin'? What the fuck were ya thinkin' when ya signed your life away and joined forces with Armageddon? Ya see, ya just took the purest thing in your life son, and ya corrupted it. Your talent...your skills...your athleticism and your abilities...ya threw it all in the fuckin' garbage and for what Evan...for what? For power? For the added feature of sayin' ya actually have a friend or tow? To be noticed by the suits in the NEWF? Well, whatever the reason may be Evan, after your ass is whooped like never 'fore, you're gonna be layin' on the mat, bloodied and beaten, and then you're gonna do me a favor. No, not the j-o-b. You're gonna ask yourself a very simple question...was it worth it? Was throwin' everythin' ya had away, corruptin' your life just for the power and to be noticed...was it all worth it? Well in a way it will be cuz the fact of the matter is that this will be your first time in the same ring as Jack Daniels. And we all know that Jack Daniels will make your sorry ass famous. But will the pain that ya will suffer at the hands of Jack Daniels be worth it all? Now you're probably askin' yourself, "Whatever did I do to receive this type of verbal beatdown from Jack Daniels?" Well quite frankly, ya didn't do jack shit. But your guilty by association. Ya aligned yourself with those other two assholes. And then, the followin' mornin' when ya wake up with a FUCKIN' HANGOVER, ya will regret the day that ya joined Aramgeddon. Ya will regret the day that ya stepped in that ring. And ya will regret the day that ya ever fucked with Jack Daniels.
(Daniels pauses for a moment before speaking...)
Jack Daniels: Ya see Armageddon, as quickly as ya got together and formed...ya will just be annhiliated even quicker. Now Jack Daniels realizes that ya bastards need to do what ya need to do to get your point across. But ya motherfuckers crossed the line. Ya pissed me off and ya pissed off my partner Erik Draven. Now ya got two big, tough, pissed off sunuva bitches lookin' to give ya a taste of your own medicine and reconstruct your ugly mugs. All ya bastards will regret the day that ya ever fucked with Jack Daniels.
Till then...MOTHERFUCKERS!
(And with that the scene fades...)