(The scene fades in...but you don't quite know it just yet. The screen is still pitch black, but some sounds tell us that something is there. The slight sound of chirpping crickets. The sound of an owl howling in the distance. And the sound of a pair of feet walking through grass and leaves. Suddenly, a ray of lights begins to clue us in on just exactly is going on. The camera follows the path of lights to see just exactly where we are. Is that a...a grave? Upon closer inpsection, it sure is. We seem to be in a cemetery. But who's there. Suddenly a shadow is seen walking towards the grave the camera is focused on. The cameraman jumps upon feeling the presence of this large person, or so the shadow says. Light begins to hit his face...but isn't very clear yet. But there is something shining around this person's waist from the beam of lights hitting it. Look...it's Jack Daniels. Daniels is decked out in some black pants and a dark grey T-shirt. And of course, his NEWF Wolrd Title Belt wrapped around his waist. Daniels approaches the grave and begins to speak...)
Jack Daniels: Ya know, the NEWF has really begun to heat up lately. Hell, some might even say it's en fuego. And the rest say that the NEWF is all but...dead. Will the NEWF climb up that ladder rung by damn rung and one step before reaching that milestone, it goes free falling like the nations Stock Market? Will it just blow up in everyone's face cuz it just got outta control. Could this grave here, be a sign of things to come for the NEWF? And the answer is quite simple. Not as long as Jack Daniels is Heavyweight champ and runnin' things in the NEWF. DFR can pull out all the surprises stuck up their asses they fuckin' want. But ya see, it gonna change a thing cuz Armageddon will bein' standin' alone at the top when it's all said and done. Now Jack Dnaiels knows that's easier said then done. But when has Jack Daniels ever done something the easy way? I'lls ave ya bastards the trouble...NEVER!
So if the NEWF isn't dyin', then who is? HA..HA..HA...I'm glad ya aked. Ya see life goes on and aside from all the DFR and Armageddon issues, Jack Daniels has to look at his match against Egor Draven at Shockwave. Now can I tell ya something Egor? Well ya see, Jack Daniels is not his jolly ol' self as of late. Ya see, the ol' Jack Daniels would normally be visitin' museum's tellin' ya just how much of a fossil ya really are. Or Jack Daniels would be standin' in a hospital right now and reservin' ya a room from Monday night. But I ain't the gool ol' Jack Daniels that everyone cheers and loves. Draven, I have learned a lot of lessons in this business. And I'm gonna tell ya exactly what some of 'em were.
(Daniels walks away from the grave and walks around the cemetery a bit as he continues talking...)
Jack Daniels: Ya see Drave, I learned that kissin' the stanky, filthy asses of all the drunkaholics out there, will only get ya so far. If ya want somethin' Draven, ya can't expect for it to be handed toya on a fuckin' silver platter. Oh no...ya gotta step right up and snag it at the very first chance ya fuckin' get. Not tomorrow...not next week...RIGHT FUCKIN' NOW! But history has proven otherwise for ya Draven. Opportunities have jumped up and bitch slapped ya in the face. But all ya ever did was sit there and play the role of the little bitch that ya are. ya say next time he's gonna get his, but that never happens. Ya say next time I will win that title, but next time never rolls 'round for ya. Opportunities have come and gone for ya, but lately ya have passed 'em like last week's chop liver. Well this here...(Daniels points to his NEWF Title) ain't no chop liver. This here is filet mignon as far as your concerned. And as long as Jack Daniels is cookin' thins up here, ya'll never get a taste Draven.Ya'll never get a taste of sweet success over Jack Daniels. Fact is that I own ya Erik. I'm your master...your superior...your pimp. And I'm gonna sell ya for the whole 2 cents you're fuckin' worth. Did ya ever stop and smell the coffee Erik and realize that ya ain't worth jack shit in the NEWF. Ya see, ya should be thankin' your brother Michael for tryin' to help ya out here. He ain't beatin' on ya and verbally rippin' ya to shreds just cuz he feels like it Erik. He's doin' it for your own good. He's tryin' yo get ya outta the NEWF as soon as possible to save ya from the humiliation and the constant disappointments. That's all your pathetic career has been Egor...one huge fuckin' disappointment.
Now you're probably thinkin' just what else does Jack Daniels want? I have Armageddon at my side. I have more power in the NEWF than ya could possibly imagine. I have the sixteen pounds of gold that everyone and their momma could only wish they could hold it for a mere three and a half seconds. Shit, Jack Daniels in on top of the rasslin' world right now. Well, ya might think so Egor and Jack Daniels could see just how and why ya would. But there's still one more task at hand that Jack Daniels is dead set on completin' other than beatin' ya to a bloody pulp Draven. And that's obtainin' complete control of the NEWF. Ya see Draven, it's all ofr the takin'... just like this World Title. And Jack Daniels saw the opportunity and took it. And the second the opportunity of ownin' the NEWF becomes available, ya better believe that Jack Daniels and Armageddon will be there to capitalize. Now Draven, you're probably sittin' back and wonderin' just what in hell I'm babblin' 'bout, and why I'm tellin' ya 'bout all this. Well ya see, Jack Daniels is gonna let ya in on a little secret 'bout ya. Ya see, after Jack Daniels beats ya an inch within your pathetic life, he's gonna toss ya over Mikey's way. And that's when you're gonna be wishin' ya had that inch back cuz Michael Draven...your own fuckin' brother, is gonna put your sorry, fossil ass out for good. So seein' as ya won't be 'round to see Armageddon rise to the top like the cream that they are, I figured I would give ya a little sneak preview.
So just where will ya be Erik? Good question...
(Daniels walks over a bit until he reaches a tombstone with some writing on it and a dug up burial site. The camera takes a look in, but there's nothing buried down there. The camera works its way back up and gets a closer look at the tombstone and what's engraved on it...)
R.I.P.
Erik Draven
His Armageddon was long overdue
And finally came at the hands of, how ironic...Armageddon
Jack Daniels: Ya see Erik, Jack Daniels and company took the liberty to set up your grave for ya cuz hell, you're gonna be needin' one sooner than ya think bitch. No, it may not be by my own hands Erik, and therefore ya should consider yourself one lucky bastard. But not lucky 'nuff to pull a fast one over Jack Daniels. Not lucky 'nuff to take this World Title from 'round my waist and call it yours. Now I'm sure that ya think our match here is all a set up...one big scam...one big screwjob for Erik Draven, with Mikey steppin' in as special guest ref. But ya see, that's not it at all. Why Mikey wants to be in that ring reffin' our match...sure beats the hell outta me. Shit, if anythin' maybe it should be Jack Daniels who's the paranoid one here. Think 'bout it Draven. Ya two are set to face each other at the next PPV. Ya have a title shot. What would be better than absolutely whoopin' your ass? Absolutley whoopin' your ass and winnin' the World Title on top of it. Jack Daniels has seen weirder things. But that's not how it's gonna happen at all. Ya see Erik, it's quite simple and Jack Daniels is damn surprised that ya haven't figured it out by now. Your music hits, ya walk your pathetic ass to the ring. My music hits, Jack Daniels emerges from the curtain with sixteen pounds of gold wrapped 'round his waist as the crowd cheers and throws flowers and rose pedals at me. Jack Daniels steps in the ring...change that. Jack Daniels steps into HIS ring. Jack Daniels uses your seven foot fossil ass as a mop andclean the ring with it. And then, after I'm done whoopin' your ass from pillar to fuckin' post, I will walk out with yet 'nother win over ya and still the NEWF Heavyweight Champ cuz Jack Daniels fuckin' SAID SO!
When will ya learn Erik? When will ya fuckin' learn that ya just can't fuck with Jack Daniels? Each and every time ya made a pathetic attempt at it, ya got knocked out on your fuckin' ass. And maybe that's alright for ya cuz there wasn't much ridin' on the line. But this time, it's for all the marbles bitch. This time...it's for your pathetic career. Ya see,let me fill ya in on a little somethin' that I just so happened to over hear comin' out of the New England offices. Best and his suits are tired of ya Erik. Nope, that's a lie. Here's the truth Draven...Best and his suits and every fed head that ever lived is sick and fuckin' tired of ya. They're sick and fuckin' tired of watchin' ya get your ass handed to ya in a fuckin' paper bag. They're sick and tired of givin' ya opportunity after fuckin' opportunity only to see ya lose. This title shot, this here is the last straw for ya Erik. Yeah, Jack Daniels may have said it 'fore, but this time...he ain't fuckin' 'round. There's a point to be proved other than Erik Draven is a complete waste of life. And that is that Jack Daniels says what he's gonna do and then goes out and does it. I'm sorry, but I don't pull down my pants, turn 'round, and let the hot air comin' outta my ass do the talkin'. All this talkin'...it comes from right here (Daniels points to his heart). And it comes out from these (Daniels holds up his fists).
Ya may not be occupyin' this grave Monday night or Tuesday mornin'. But you're gonna wish ya sure as hell did cuz if ya happen to scrape your beaten bloody carcass off of the canvas...if ya happen to live...that means your just gonna have to endure 'nother ass whoopen either at the hands of Jack Daniels or Armageddon...or if you're lucky, maybe even by both. Whatever the case may be, the fact still remains the same that Jack Daniels will be arrivin' with power and gold. And Jack Daniels will be leavin' with more power and gold. I let ya out too easy every other time Erik and that was a mistake. I let ya live, and that was even a bigger mistake. But this time 'round, ya can bet your ass that Daniels won't make that mistake 'gain. The only mistake we're gonna see is Erik Draven pullin' off an actual rasslin' move. Congradulations Erik...congradu-fuckin'-lations. You're the new, proud owner of this burial spot and tombstone. And you're also the new, proud owner of the worst ass whoopen that has ever been witnessed by a human being. Things seem to even out for ya Erik, you're 'bout to lose your dignity, your career and hopefully your life. But your gonna 'gain this tombstone and a ass whoopin' of epic proportions. And it all goes down this Monday night...a night ya wish never...ever took place Erik.
Till then...MOTHERFUCKER! MUAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
(The camera zooma in on the empty burial spot that Erik Draven has dug up for himself. Scene fades...)