(The scene opens and we find ourselves inside the arena that's gonna be a part of history this Sunday night. The arena that is going to hold quite arguably the greatest event to take place since the arena's existence. The site of the NEWF's PPV extravaganza, Final Countdown, Foxboro Stadium. The stadium right now is empty as it's being prepared for a record sellout crowd and one helluva show Sunday night. From the aerial shot of the Stadium, we cut to the stadium seats, all the way up in those nose bleed sections that when ya look down at the field at a Patriot's game, Drew Bledsoe looks like an ant. Anyhow, up in the nose bleed section of the stadium, we see a figure seated in one of the chairs. As the camera closes in on this individual, we realize that it's none other than the NEWF Heavyweight Champion himself...Jack Daniels. Daniels is seated in the cahir with the NEWF Heavyweight Title draped over his shoulder. Daniels looks down at the field before he looks into the camera and begins speaking...)
Jack Daniels: Tick tock...tick tock...tick tock. The clock is tickin' away. The Final Countdown has begun. But no one has a damn clue as to what we are countin' down to. Some say we are countin' down to the end of an era as the upcomin' PPV could very well be it's final dance. Some say we are countin' down to the beginnin' of a new era as soon as the PPV this Sunday night has been written in the record books. But Jack Daniels says we are countin' down the number of days...hours...minutes...fuckin' seconds, till three other sorry sunuva bitches get shut down and their dreams of becomin' NEWF World Heavyweight Champion, as is the case with Bazooka, or becomin' a two-time NEWF Heavyweight Champ, as is the case with Grady and Hailey, are shattered to a million and one fuckin' pieces. Set your watches...your alarms...mark your calendars, do what ya gotta do to remember that in 'bout 4 days and 20 hours, four men will step into a ring and only one will be left standin' victorious, with sixteen pounds of gold hangin' 'round their waist. Fuck the NEWF New England Title. No one gives a rat's ass 'bout that title. We're talkin' 'bout the big mama jama here...MY NEWF HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! Not yours, or his or your mama's...MINE! What stupid sunuva bitch came up with the idea to throw the worthless NEWF New England Title into the mix should be shot, killed and spat on for such a ridiculous idea and attempt to tarnish this match with such a fuckin' pathetic, piece of tin foil. No one in their right mind would want to represent the NEw England region...NO ONE!
Now maybe I'm bitin' myself in the tongue here, cuz as it turns out my very own stablemate, Bazooka Joe, currently holds the NEWF New England Title. Ya know Joe, ever since ya and I have been wreakin' havoc with Armageddon and ever since ya won that gold, I have been bitin' my tongue notto say a damn word, but not this time 'round. Not durin' a promo, oh no Joe...it's all gonna fly out now. Ya see BJ, Jack Daniels doesn't have a problem with ya what-so-fuckin'-ever. So don't let Hailey's and grady's ramblings get to ya when they step out here and try to add fuel to the fire. Ya see BJ, it's like this, you're my partner in crime, but yet we have to fight 'in opposite corners for one night. Ya know what they say BJ...business is business. And this Sunday night, Jack Daniels is gonna take care of business. Ya see Joe, the day ya won the NEWF New England Title, well quite honestly it bothered me. Actually, it sickened me. No, not cuz I felt threatened by your success cuz as ya know Jack Daniels ain't threatened by no one. But what sickens me is how ya can actually walk out with that title 'round your waist and take pride in representin' this hell hole we call New England. I thought ya had some common sense BJ, but that theory is proved wrong. And if ya think for one single solitary second that Jack Daniels is gonna take it easy on ya good ol' pal, then think 'gain BJ. Ya see, I got business to take care of in this staium Sunday night. I havea reputation to uphold Bazooka. I've been workin' my fuckin' ass off...bustin' my balls...givin' it everything i got for the past three years to build up such an amazing portfolio of victories and titles and what have ya. And Jack Daniels ain't 'bout to fuck it all up cuz of ya BJ, a representitive of New England. I'm walkin' in with the World Title, and I'mwalkin' out with it...it's as simple as that. Now as for ya BJ, hell I could care less what ya do. Ya can hold onto your worthless title, although I strongly advise 'gainst holdin' on to such a meaningless, worthless piece of tin foil. Or ya can lose it to Grady or Hailey or even better...ME! Do I sound like a hyprocrite now? Good. But ya see, I don't want to win that title to add to my portfolio, oh no son. I want possession of that title so the very next day i can do to it what should have been done a long...looooong time ago. And that's set it up in flames and let in burn into space. Hopefully, New England could do the same.
But this ain't 'bout New England and it certainly ain't 'bout ya Joe. This is 'about Jack Daniels and only Jack Daniels. And whether ya like it or not Joe, ya will come to realize that this is 'bout me and not ya. This is 'bout the World Title...not the New England Title. Ya see BJ, it's always been 'bout me...ever since day one. I was the first one to win the NEWF Heavyweight Title. I carried the NEWF to greatness by successfully defendin' the title for over two months, and one of those title defenses was 'gainst ya BJ. But Jack Daniels won't bring up painful memories for ya Joe. But what Jack Daniels will do is tell ya to do what ya do best. And that's take the orders that are handed to ya just like ya do each and every week when Jack Daniels and Draven tell ya what's goin' down...when it's goin' down and how it's goin' down. So here are your orders BJ: Stay the fuck outta my way when you're defednin' your title and stay the fuck outta my way when I'm retainin' my title. Jack Daniels will reamin World Champ. Now ya know and knowin' is half the battle...ain't it Joe?
(Daniels looks over at the title draped over his shoulder as he wipes a bit with his other hand before turning and speaking to the camera again...)
Jack Daniels: Grady...Grady...Grady. Long time no see jackass. Oh that's right Grady, that was Jack Daniels that fucked ya up just a few weeks ago to prove to ya Dirty Fuckin' Retards that Aramgeddon was for real. But ya see Grady, beatin' on little, insignificant pieces of shit like yourself seem to always slip my mind. And I'm sure the same goes for ya, except ya just forget everything. ya know what they say, the memory is the first thing to go. But then what? Well I'll fuckin' tell ya exactly what's gonna go next now that your memory has left for higher ground. And that's your opportunities and eventually your career. I'm sure ya here the same bit over and over from people how you're over the hill and are just outta your league nowadays. Well, ya should listen to every fuckin' word those people tell ya cuz it couldn't be any more true. Now granted, the last time we stepped into a ring, at a Pay Per View, and the Title was on the line, ya walked away with it. But all that's gonna be is a memory Grady and a very distinctive memory for ya Grady, cuz that was the absolute last shinin' moment of your pathetic, over-rated career. Think 'bout it Grady, ever since then, where have ya gone? Absolutely nowhere. Ya immediately fell to the mid-ranks fightin' for your fuckin' pathetic life with meaningless Television and New England Titles on the line. Last time I checked Grady, neother one of those titles were worth jack shit, so ya have been givin' it your all, fightin' for your life for what? For JACK SHIT!
But let's take a look at the truth here Grady. Let's take a look at just why ya have absolutely no fuckin' chance to walk outta this stadium with my gold wrapped 'round your waist, let alone any gold. Ya see, when ya take a good look at it, what ya see is the same scenario two times in this match here. We got Me and BJ, stablemates and friends who will go at it when it's all on the line. However, Jack Daniels gives the orders and Bazooka Joe takes the orders. Then we got Hailey and ya Grady. Same situation, stablemates and friends who would both bring it to each other when the biggest prize in this industry in on the line. But Hailey gives the orders and ya take 'em like the bitch that ya are Grady. Hell, ya have for your entire career. Your life is the same ol' story..."Yes Smirt"..."Yes Haywood".."Yes Mr. Furman"...and now "Yes Marcus". Ya give new meanin' to the word bitch Grady cuz that's obviously all your good for...is bein' the bitch in the group. And this Sunday night will be no exception. Ya will turn out to be the bitch like every other week. Ya can win yourself the New England Title but the fact of the matter is that it doesn't mean jack shit. What matters is right here (Daniels slaps his World Title). Ya ain't shit until ya have this. And even though ya have had it, ya still ain't worth a fuckin' dime. Just goes to show how pathetic ya really are. Ya see Grady, no matter how much ass ya kiss...no matter whose ass ya kiss...ya'll still be a fuckin' peon in this industry cuz ya just can't cut it 'gainst the likes of the Joe Lemons 'round here, let alone Jack Daniels. The truth hurts...don't it?
(Daniels looks over to his title once again, and then at the camera. He looks at the title again, and then at the camera with a grin on his face as he continues to speak...)
Jack Daniels: Now I bet no one else in this entire world would love to have this belt back more than Marcus Hailey. What's the matter Hailey, did Jack Daniels take something away from ya that ya thought ya owned? Well deal with it bitch. I don't care if your pissed 'bout it, devastated 'bout it, or fuckin' happy 'bout it. The fact still remain that this is mine and not yours. So, what are ya gonna do 'bout it Hailey? Ya gonna sick your little bitch Grady on me? (Daniels laughs) Go right 'head. I'll make sure I bring plenty of bones with me to keep that bitch busy. Ya see Hailey, no matter what ya do...no matter how hard ya fuckin' try...ya just can't take this gold away from me. Face it Hailey, ya have met your match in Jack Daniels. Ya thought ya would be just like your younger brother Kelvin and rise 'bove everyone 'fore they could blink their eyes. Well ya thought wrong bitch. Ya thought ya were the cream that would separate itself fromt he rest and rise to the top. Well, how do ya expect for cream to rise to the top when it's drowned in a poll of Jack Daniels? That's exactly your situation right now Hailey, and the sad part is, I don't see anyone tryin' to throw ya a lifesaver while you're drownin' in Jack Daniels. Not like anyone could save ya anyhow, cuz once your engulfed in Jack Daniels, there's no escapin'. Face it Hailey, ya have been outdone in every which way fuckin' possible. Ya win the NEWF World Title and suddenly ya think ya and DFR are on top of the world. Your first title defense rolls 'round 'gainst yours truly, and 'fore Grady could blow his load all over your ass, the title is 'round my waist. 'Fore ya knew it, ya and your other little ass bangin' friends were in the gutter as week in and week out Armageddon would get the best of ya and show ya up at your very own game. Jack Daniels told ya right 'fore he took HIS title that he who laughs last laughs best. Yeah, I was laughin' it up the night I became the first 2-time NEWF Heavyweight Champ. But ya know Hailey...I ain't quite done laughin' yet.
Ya may have gotten the better part of Jack Daniels right off the bat Hailey, but ya made one huge mistake motherfucker. Ya didn't finish the job when ya had the fuckin' chance. FEAR...Jack Daniels Riker's Island Match...ya and one hundred and seven of your ass rapin' buddies had the perfect opportunity to put JacK Daniels away once and for all. But no, ya feared 'nother decade in prison. But now Hailey, ya gotta fear every day for the rest of your pathetic life. Fear just what ya ask? Ya gotta fear the possibility of Jack Daniels handin' ya an ass whoopen that will put ya outta commission just like your younger brother. Ya gotta fear wakin' up every morning knowin' that there is someone just that much better than ya out there...and that's without a shadow of a doubt Jack Daniels. But most important of all, ya have to fear winnin' this title back cuz ya know Jack Daniels would be back right on your ass ready to take it from ya a second time and become the first 3-time Heavyweight Champ. So go 'head Hailey (Daniels grabs the title and extends his arm as if to hand the title to someone)...take the title cuz ya just might be helpin' out my career by doin' so. And I know that's the absolute last thing ya want to do Hailey. That and admit the simple fact that Jack Daniels is...was...and always will be better than ya. But ya don't have to say it Hailey, cuz everyone and thier mama already knows it.
Four men...two titles...one true winner. Ya do the math motherfuckers. But no matter how ya crunch the numbers, the end result will be a constant...Jack Daniels with his hand raised victorious and the NEWF Heavyweight Title hangin' from my waist. It's a site we have all become accustomed to. And whther ya like it or not, ya will have to live through it at least one more fuckin' time on Sunday night.
Till then...MOTHERFUCKERS!
(And with that, the scene fades...)