Jack Daniels: Hey Bob…I need to talk to ya.

Robert Stack: Bob? Can I help you?

Jack Daniels: Ya sure as hell could try. You’re Robert Stack right?

Robert Stack: Oh…yes I am. What can I do you for?

Jack Daniels: First off, ya can’t do me for anythin’. Look Bob, I got some big information for ya. And this drunken bastard thought that maybe ya could help. Ya see, there’s a couple of murders that are gonna go down ‘round Monday night, early Tuesday morning.

Robert Stack: Well, how do you know that?

Jack Daniels: Cuz the hooded mystery man is gonna kill Grady’s wife once he gets his ass whooped.

Robert Stack: What? Hold on a second there…I’m not understanding this. I’m missing something here.

Jack Daniels: Ya see, Jack Daniels has got this title defense ‘gainst Grady. Some hooded mystery man has taken Grady’s wife and said he would kill her if and when Grady loses to this drunken bastard. And I was wonderin’ if ya could give a drunken bastard some help here.

Robert Stack: Oh I see. So you want me to run a story on our next episode of America’s Most Wanted, and put out a warning for this hooded mystery man?

Jack Daniels: NO! Damnit Bob, and this drunken bastard thought ya had somethin’ up there. Jack Daniels wants ya to run the story, just like ya said. But ya don’t put up a wanted picture of the hooded mystery man. He’s not the one at fault here. Jack Daniels wants ya to put up a wanted picture of Grady Smith on the screen.

Robert Stack: Grady Smith?! Why Grady?

Jack Daniels: Cuz Bob, his wife’s life depends on HIM. If Grady loses…it’s off with her head. Yeah the hooded mystery man might have be the one to physically kill her to the human eye, Grady is the one who ultimately killed her to the drunken eye.

Robert Stack: Ahhh, I see now. Yeah you have a point. Yeah, we’ll run with that for our segment.

Jack Daniels: I thought ya would see it this drunken bastard’s way.

(Daniels takes a swig from his bottle of Old No.7 as he walks away from Bob and off the set. Immediately, Robert and some producers and directors of the show start working on this segment. Daniels keeps walking until he has some privacy. He takes another swig from his bottle of liquor and then begins speaking…)

Jack Daniels: Grady, this drunken bastard has got a question for ya…Can ya handle it Grady? Can ya handle the pressure Grady? Ya know, it seems like ya never could ‘fore in your career, so what makes ya think ya can come through this time? Ya think Jack Daniels is just gonna lay down for ya and hand ya what I worked this drunken ass so hard for? Ya think Jack Daniels is gonna lay down just to save your wife’s life? Nah Grady, it doesn’t work that way…not for Jack Daniels. Fact of the matter is your wife and the rest of your family mean jack shit to this drunken bastard. Family problems should be solved at the home…not in my ring. Grady, it’s not your wife’s life ya should be so concerned ‘bout. It’s your own life that ya should be shittin’ briks ‘bout. Cuz once ya step in that squared circle, there’ll be no holdin’ back…no mercy…NO FUCKIN’ REGRETS! Ya caught a bird’s eye view of what Jack Daniels did to TME to win the Heavyweight Title. What makes ya think that Jack Daniels won’t do anythin’ it fuckin’ takes to keep that title ‘round this drunken waist? What makes ya think that Jack Daniels won’t pull out all the stops? That’s right, nuttin’. Cuz there ain’t nuttin’ that’s gonna stop The Drunk One from retainin’ the Heavyweight gold come Monday night.

Ya know what the difference between ya and this drunken bastard is Grady? Ya see Jack Daniels is an accomplished, legendary ‘rassler. And as for ya…well ya have made a name for yourself, but is in no way as established as mine. Remember what happened after we ‘rassled to a draw a month back? Jack Daniels went on to become the NEWF Heavyweight Champion. And as for ya Grady, well ya went in to Boston Massacre only to lose to a ROOKIE that doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. That’s the difference between ya and me. Jack Daniels is an elite wrestler who strives in pressure situations to and get over that hump that many, especially ya Grady. And Grady, well ya are an above average jackass who has hit ROCKBOTTOM! Can’t ya tell Grady? When your wife’s life has to be on the line in order for ya to win a match, then it’s quite obvious that you’re runnin’ on nuttin’ but desperation and should be done with this. Is that what it’s gonna take for ya to get pumped up for this match Grady…your wife’s life? Is that what’s gonna make ya win the title from this drunken bastard…you’re wife’s life? And suppose ya do win it. What’s next…in order to retain your title Robbie or Anna Marie’s life is gonna be on the line? Shows what a real good father figure this man is by puttin’ a loved one’s life on the line in order to win a god damn match.

Ya know somethin’ Grady, Jack Daniels and all his drunkaholics hate a certain type of people, and that’s hypocrites. And ya my friend, are the biggest form of hypocrisy these fans have seen. This hooded mystery man, is someone who ya absolutely hate…someone ya would hurt if given the opportunity…someone ya would KILL if given the opportunity. Ya absolutely despise this sorry bastard. Hell, no one can blame ya for that cux they would feel the same way. But don’t ya see what you’re doin’? Don’t ya see that you’re doin’ exactly as he wants? You’ve fallen under his spell and are hypnotized by this sunuva bitch. Ya see, he claims he’s here to help ya and guide ya to stardom once ‘gain. Ya needed to give ya a motive…to give ya inspiration to win this drunken bastard’s gold. And he did just that when he took your wife and threatened her life. He knew that would piss ya off like no one else has ‘fore. And that you’re gonna take all that hate…all that anger…all the cruel intentions inside of ya…and take ‘em out on Jack Daniels. In essence, the hooded mystery man is doin’ ya a favor for takin’ your wife. He obviously knew that he had to go to extreme measures to motivate ya and put ya back on track. But ya gotta stop and think a second Grady, why would this hooded guy want me to win so much? Is he an old friend maybe? An old friend that is pissed off at ya cuz ya stabbed him in the back? And now is givin’ ya the gold, only to turn on ya and stab ya in the back just like ya did him. And then not only will he take your pride…but he’ll also take your title to make it that much more sweeter. And ya also gotta stop and ponder…if and when ya do lose, is he actually gonna kill your wife? Or is he just gonna kill YA?! It’s a helluva lot to think ‘bout Grady, and Jack Daniels ain’t tryin’ to take advantage of it Grady. This hooded mystery man has made ya more focused now. But more focused at what? At doin’ what ya wanted to do when ya stepped in the NEWF and win this title? Or become someone you’re not? A killer…a murderer…a sorry excuse for a human fuckin’ bein’.

(Suddenly, a voice is heard in the background…)

Voice: Hey Mr. Daniels, we’re done. Check it out…

(Daniels walks back over to the set where Robert Stack is waiting from him. He has a remote in his hand as he points to a TV screen…)

Robert Stack: That screen right over there Jack.

(The camera focuses in on the screen they are watching. We see Robert Stack, standing in the normal America’s Most Wanted set. Suddenly, his voice is heard and the segment begins…)

Robert Stack: Our top case this week all takes place in a small town called Cortland, in Upstate New York. Two little kids have been threatened and tied up in their own house. One innocent mom has been kidnapped and now her life is in danger by some mysterious hooded character. Now her life depends on the fate of her husband’s professional wrestling match. It’s quite simple, Grady Smith wins…(Daniels cuts in)…Which he won’t…(Robert Stack resumes speaking) His wife lives. But if he loses…so does his wife as she will be killed. So please help us America against this cold blooded killer…Please help us capture one of America’s Most Wanted…(Suddenly, the following image is shown…)

(And with that image, the scene slowly fades to black…)