It's not all that easy Grady
It's not all that easy Grady
(The scene opens and we find ourselves up high on some mountains. It is obviously cold up there as races of snow are seen. Where we are exactly, we do not know, but imagine we are somewhere in the Northeast. Anyway, as the camera pans around a bit, we can see a figure sitting up high on some cliff. The camera moves in only to discover the NEWF Heavyweight Champion, Jack Daniels. Daniels is simply sitting atop a cliff, but this time, he’s dressed a little more appropriately for the weather with a jacket and a bandana. Daniels has a bottle of Old No.7 by one side, and the NEWF World Heavyweight Title on the other side of him. Daniels takes a swig from his bottle of Old No.7 and then begins speaking…)
Jack Daniels: Ya know, there comes a time in life when sometimes certain needs…certain priorities have to be put aside. Sometimes the stakes are brought up to a level where ya can’t even think in your normal state of mind. Everything is put aside…for one thing and one thing only. In Grady’s case, the bastard is gonna put aside his pride…and everything he has learned over the years cuz ya better believe the sunuva bitch is gonna be throwing everything, and the kitchen sink, at this drunken bastard to get what he wants…to get what he needs to keep his wife breathin’…the NEWF Heavyweight Title.
Ya know Grady, Jack Daniels has sat here and thought long and hard of what to do. We all know damn well this ain’t your typical match here. Ya got two of thee best, if not thee best, damn superstars on the face of the earth. We both have been ‘round the block quite a few times and have both done more than our share in this industry. That alone makes it for one helluva memorable battle. But along with this battle, comes even more consequences...serious ones. Ya have the NEWF Heavyweight Title that is up for grabs. But we’ve both been there and done that. Braggin’ rights are up in the air between two people like Grady and Jack Daniels who have been through hell and high water together. But ‘gain…we’ve both been there and done that. A person’s life…an innocent person’s fuckin’ life is ridin’ on this match. Now there might have been matches that have taken place with a lot at stake…but never…and Jack Daniels means NEVER…has there ever been so much at stake as there is now. So the question here is, what to do…what the fuck should this drunken bastard do? (Daniels pauses for a moment to take himself a swig from his bottle of Old No.7 as he thinks for a moment before speaking again.) Ya see Grady, either which way ya slice it or dice it…Jack Daniels is fucked. How ya ask? Hell, this drunken bastard ain’t all that worried ‘bout havin’ to step in that squared circle ‘gainst Grady Smith, cuz we have dozens of times and know each other like the back of our hand. Ya see, Jack Daniels can’t win. Hell, if I step in that ring, and come out on top, yeah Jack Daniels will still be your NEWF Heavyweight Champion. But the world is gonna be one person short. No, not Grady Smith…but his wife Leslie. So in turn, Jack Daniels is viewed as the villain…Jack Daniels is perceived as the killer in this situation. Shit, ya might as well put my drunken mug up on those America’s Most Wanted posters rather than Grady’s, cuz in essence, Jack Daniels did it.
Then ‘gain, Jack Daniels could get counted out or disqualified so he can keep his title, and Grady can still have his wife. But then ‘gain, the fans are the ones that will lose in this situation. Or Jack Daniels could step in that ring and just lye down for ya Grady. Ya got your title that ya always wanted…and your wife lives. But ‘gain, the fans are the losers in this situation. They want to see a fight…Grady wants a fight…and Jack Daniels wants a fight. Ya see, what it all boils down to is that Jack Daniels can’t win under these circumstances. My back has been put back ‘gainst the wall plenty of times ‘fore, but never like this. Never has this drunken bastard been put in a situation like this where no matter what happens, The Drunk One loses. Grady, congratulations…congratu-fuckin’-lations for findin’ a loophole here. Congratu-fuckin’-lations for finally beatin’ Jack Daniels without resortin’ to your normal, obvious crap. Congratu-fuckin’-lations for puttin’ your own wife’s life on the line in order to actually lay claim that ya actually beat Jack Daniels for this NEWF Heavyweight Title. (Daniels holds up the title). Here, ya want it Grady? Ya want this title? Go ‘head bitch…take it. Jack Daniels said FUCKIN’ TAKE IT! But let me ask ya this Grady…was it worth it? Was it fuckin’ worth puttin’ your wife through so much distress and damn near killin’ her to have this title? Was it worth riskin’ her life only so ya can so selfishly claim that ya single handedly saved her life? Was it fuckin’ worth puttin your wife through so much only so ya can add one more title…one more accolade to your list? Let me tell ya this, it ain’t worth it to me to keep that title and have the guilt lye over my drunken head for the rest of my life that Jack Daniels killed Leslie Smith.
(Daniels pauses once again to take one of his trademark swigs from his bottle of Old No.7 before he continues speaking…)
Jack Daniels: Never, in the years that I have been ‘round have I seen somebody stoop to such levels only to win himself one more title. Only so he can consider himself in the Upper Echelon once ‘gain and not over the hill. Well Grady, if that’s the way ya wanna do…then be my fuckin’ guest. But know this, Jack Daniels will have no part of this. Jack Daniels will not give ya the satisfaction of walkin’ out of that arena with sixteen more pounds ‘round your waist. If Jack Daniels dies in doin’ so…then so be it. If ya die tryin’ to beat me…then so be it. If Leslie Smith has to die…THEN SO FUCKIN’ BE IT! Yeah Grady, ya heard me right. Jack Daniels couldn’t give two shits if your wife lives or not anymore. Let it hang over my drunken head for the rest of my life…I really don’t give a flyin’ fuck. Why? Cuz when this drunken bastard stops and thinks of what ya have done to try and get what ya want over the years…it sickens me to my fuckin’ stomach. Now Jack Daniels can understand doin’ what ya got to do to get to the top, but goin’ ‘bout it by tryin’ to end careers…tryin’ to end lives is not the way to do it Grady. Let me take ya back to a little less than a year ago Grady. The CWA…Jack Daniels and Haywood Jublome were brawling all over whatever arena we were in that night, until the fight spilled out into the streets. Jack Daniels and Haywood Jublome could have gone at it all night…until a black 2000 Bonnesville came speedin’ down the street and purposely took out Haywood and this drunken bastard. And ya were the one behind the wheel that night Grady. Ya knew damn well that ya couldn’t get to the top of the CWA without takin’ out the two biggest draws in that company at the time. And ya were willin’ to not only take away their careers…but their fuckin’ lives. But ya made a mistake Grady. Ya left Jack Daniels breathin’ that night. And now, to so cowardly put your wife’s life in jeopardy cuz ya have nuttin’ else to resort to. It’s pathetic…You’re pathetic Grady.
Now this drunken bastard knows that Grady is gonna come out with everythin’ he’s got inside him. But Jack Daniels is gonna sit here and tell ya right now, that it won’t be ‘nuff Grady. Ya have been given your small window of opportunity yet once ‘gain. Ya have been given that "opportunity" to make your mark in this industry. But just like every other time ya were "handed" an opportunity, ya ain’t gonna make shit out of it. Hell, Jack Daniels will be the first to admit that he had his share of opportunities himself. But unlike ya Grady…this drunken bastard was able to make somethin’ of ‘em. Maybe he didn’t carve his name in stone, but Jack Daniels took that opportunity to the next level each and every time and made somethin’ of it. There’s no need for a eulogy Grady, well at least not for this drunken bastard. But ya might wanna start thinking of one for Leslie. Cuz whether ya like it or not…whether Leslie likes it or not…Jack Daniels is gonna walk into the Hartford Civic Center and take care of business as usual. I’m gonna take my title, and bring it up to ‘nother level…a level which ya or no one else for that matter can even come close to.
(Daniels stands up and moves to the edge of the cliff. He takes a swig from his bottle of Old No.7 and then looks back into the camera as he continues to speak…)
Jack Daniels: Grady, this is yet ‘nother chapter in a book that we have written over the years. From despisin’ each other to the point where we would do whatever we had to make the other look bad. To bein’ tag team partners and re-writing the record books. To both growin’ a mutual respect for one ‘nother and havin’ to do battle just once more for the most prestigious prize in this sport. And ya can rest assure Grady that this WILL be the last chapter that this drunken bastard writes. Cuz when it’s all said and done…when all of the smoke is cleared…when the last drop of your wife’s blood hits the ground…when the last shovel-full of dirt hits the top of your wife’s casket…ya will realize that your time has come and gone and that you’re livin’ in a Drunken Era. (Daniels picks up the belt once more and holds it as if handing it to someone) Here Grady, ya wanna be the hero…then be my fuckin’ guest. But remember this…Heroes are remembered…but legends never die.
(Daniel’s eyes are piercing through the camera as the scene slowly fades to black…)