(Last we saw Daniels, he was in a courtroom pleading his case against Grady Smith, to the honarable Judge Mills Lane. The scene fades in, and we find ourselves right where we left off, Daniels is still bringing out the cold hard facts against Grady. Judge Mills Lane has just walked into the courtroom, sat in his chair and the verbal beatdown continues just for you Grady. Let's listen in...)
Jack Daniels: Alright, 'fore I was so rudely interrupted by that damn little wooden hammer good ol' Mills Lane has got up there, I was tellin' ya people just why Grady Smith ain't the way to go here. I was tellin' ya why Grady Smith absolutely sucks. I was tellin' ya just how Grady Smith is gonna lose his NPWA Title to none other than yours truly...Jack Daniels. Now ya see, it ain't just this drunken bastard that hates Grady Smith worse than a cheap brand of whiskey, but so does everyone else he has ever come across in the squared circle. Now Jack Daniels could bring each and every sunuva bitch out here as a witness, but 'gain, we don't want to be here till the 2004 Olympics closin' ceremony. And quite frankly, some of those cavemen that Grady fought in epic battles, well they no longer grace us with their presence, they expired thousands, even millions of years ago. But all is not lost for Grady, cuz we did do something nice for the sorry bastard. We put a nice display of fossils resemblin' Grady, up in the Pre-Historic Museum that I personally like to frequent everytime I have a match with Grady. But obviously, bein' here in court has prevented that this time 'round.
Judge Mills Lane: Alright Jack, that's enough for now. Let Mr...umm...let Mr. Smith's attorney plead his case.
Grady's Attorney: Than...Thank You...Thank you your honor. Boy oh boy, where to begin and what to say?
Jack Daniels: How 'bout nowhere and nuttin' cuz ya got nuttin good to say 'bout Grady.
Judge Mills Lane: (Banging his gavel) Mr. Daniels...that's enough. Let the man speak.
Jack Daniels: I would, but look at him Mills. He's a stutterin', fat fool that doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground. Hell, he kinda reminds me of Grady if ya ask me. Ya couldn't have asked for a more perfect representation of Grady Smith.
Grady's Attorney: I object your honor.
Jack Daniels: Object to what ya jackass? You're representin' Grady aren't ya? Ya object to representin' Grady?
Grady's Attorney: Oh...yeah you...y..you have a p...p...point.
Jack Daniels: Ladies and gents of the jury, isn't it obvious by now? (Daniels looks at the jury who move just as much as those British guards with the big hats). Oh what, you're still not convinced? Well then let Jack Daniels convince ya. If there's one thing Jack Daniels can do...it's convince the hell outta anybody and start makin' everythin' look right. Now apart from Grady sendin' the fans for the exits and the toilets...apart from all the Grady marks gettin' their pathetic asses beat and mocked...Grady just doesn't have that desire in himself to carry the sixteen punds of gold and the entire NPWA on his shoulders. Now that ya may realize, but what none of ya realize is just who brought the NEWf and now the NPWA to the current prosperin' stats it's in. If ya said Jack Daniels, then give yourself a pat on the back while Johnny tells ya what ya won. Ya see, I came out as the very first NEWF Heavyweight Champ back in December when the fed was still havin' a tough time gettin' off the ground. But shortly after I won the title, asses were bein' put in the seats and more names were bein' put on the roster. 'Fore ya knew it, the NEWF had exploded and it was all thanks to Jack Daniels carryin' the NEWF on it's shoulders to a state of prosperity and recognition beyond belief. And ya can bet your bottom dollar that Jack Daniels can do exactly the same for the NPWA down in Texas. But as for Grady, well we can't say the same for him. Just look at his first title reign and what a joke it was. He has one title defense 'gainst Johnny Napalm, who I won't even rip here cuz quite frankly, he ain't worth my time. Then, in a bottle of the fossils, takes on Erik Draven in a non title match, to protect his gold. And on his very second title defense, loses the title...what a damn shocker. Not the franchise type champion ya initially thought he was, eh?
Ya see, don't let Grady's past actions fool ya people. He may win some big matches here and there when they count the most. but what it all boils down to is all his title reigns are a mere joke. Thus, makin' his big wins nuttin' but a fluke. Is Jack Daniels callin' Grady's win this past Sunday at The Final Countdown a fluke? Yeah, you're damn right he is. And I'm not the only one who thinks that. Think 'bout it, why else would the new powers in Ms. Angela Chang and Michael Simurda book a rematch of sorts and give Jack Daniels 'nother shot at his gold? Cuz they know damn well that little win ya pulled outta your ass this past Sunday night was nuttin' more than a fluke Grady.
Grady's Attorney: I OBJECT YOUR HONOR! That last comment is based purely on opinion and nothing else.
Jack Daniels: Opinion? Opinion? Tell me lard ass, is gonna be my opinion when I whoop Grady's sorry ass from pillar to post Monday night...take the title from him yet 'gain and make him look like a complete jackass by honorin' him with the shortest Heavyweight Title reign this face of the earth has ever seen? No, it ain't gonna be an opinion...it's gonna be a damn shame for Grady and it's gonna be nuttin' but pure business for Jack Daniels. Ya see, what seperates Jack Daniels from the rest is the willingness to do just 'bout whatever it takes to win that gold and put it 'round my waist where it belongs. Perefect example, this past Sunday night at the Final Countdown. Let's take a look at this exhibit, shall we?
(The television is rolled back into place as the videotape is inserted and the play button is pressed. Immediately, we see Jack Daniels and Bazooka Joe fighting atop the jumbotron in Foxboro Stadium from this past Sunday night. Daniels takes a punch and almost instantly goes sailing off the top and down some forty feet through some tables, crashing hard to the ground. Daniels doesn't move for a few minutes as the tapes is stopped on the image of Daniels taking a plunge that others would never even consider doing.)
Jack Daniels: Forty feet...FORTY F'N FEET! And yet, I still got up and was in the ring at the end. I could show ya more highlights of Jack Daniels going through hell just to win or retain his title throughout the years, but we don't have all day here. Ya see, Jack Dnaiels will just 'bout whatever it takes, and ya'll have seen that. But what 'bout Grady? Ya think he would take a forty foot plunge wihtout pissin' in his diapers and then gettin' up and still fight for his title? I don't think so. Do ya think Grady would partake in such matches as Stretcher Matches...Barb Wire Hell in a Call Matches...Iron Man Hell in a Cell Matches? I don't think so. Is Grady Smith better than Jack Daniels? I don't think so. Can Grady Smith handle a double shot of Jack Daniels? Not only don't I think so...I know so.
So in closin' ladies and gents of the jury, the facts are all right here and they couldn't be anymore obvious. The injustice of Grady Smith as champion is a frightenin' thought. But even more frightenin' than that is the thought that ya could actually rule here in favor of Grady. Such an injustice I have not seen since Rodney King. I mean look at him. Rather than aloow the business to move forward into a state of prosperity, all he does is hold it back. He comes out each and every week, with the same ol' recycled ideas and content. And quotin' poets and philosophers and what have ya...could ya get anymore pathetic Grady? No one sees your angle in it, and quite frankly, no one cares...'bout ya or your angle. Ladies and getns of the jury, please take it easy on good ol' Grady...those bones are a bit fragile and could snap at any given point. Do us all a favor, and get it through Grady's thick skull that he just ain't as good as he thinks he is, and there's no way that he's even remotely on the same level as Jack Daniels. Thank ya.
Judge Mills Lane: Ok, will the jury please go and deliberate on this case and in the meanwhile, we'll take a recess. (Bangs gavel)
(Everyone in the courtroom relaxes a bit as the jury goes in deliberation. Daniels gets up and walks out of the courtroom and brings the cameraman along with him and Daniels begins speaking...)
Jack Daniels: What, ya thought I was gonna let ya off easy Grady? I don't fuckin' think so. And this Monday night ain't gonna be no different cuz Jack Daniels ain't gonna let ya off quite that easily either. Ya see, Jack Dnaiels ain't just gonna beat ya physically until the point where blood starts squirtin' out every openin' possible. Jack Daniels is gonna strip ya of what little pride ya got left, and then he;s gonna take back what is rightfully his...the NPWA Heavywieght Title. And then the ultimate humiliation will sink in Grady. Ya will have the honor of bein' the one with the shortest title reign this circuit has seen. Ya'll join your good ol' friend Hailey right at the top of the list, and both of those record settin' title reigns will be all thanks to Jack Daniels. And then and only then will your already pathetic career hit an all time low. The man that walked out the winner of quite arguably the greatest and mist brutal Heavyweight Title match of all time, loses his poistion on top...loses his title...loses all his confidence and pride the very next week on your first title defense. Think 'bout what it'll do to your career Grady. And ya thought ya hit rockbottom 'fore? Then ya ain't seen nuttin yet cuz once that ref's hand hits the canvas for the third consecutive time, and ya find your shoulders pressed up 'gainst the mat, you're not only gonna realize that your career has hit levels beyond rockbottom... but you're gonna realize just why...
Till then...MOTHERFUCKER!
(Daniels walks back into the courtroom and resumes his seat as the jury walks back into the courtroom. That didn't take them very long at all. Judge Lane begins to speak...)
Judge Mills Lane: Will the jury...ah to hell with the jury. We never needed a jury for this case. It's quite obvious that Jack Daniels is on a completely different level then Grady Smith. A level which Mr. Smith will most likely never reach. Jack Daniels has showed us just why is he's the best in the business right now, bar none. Grady Smith...the worst Heavyweight Champion that ever existed? You're...GUILTY AS CHARGED! (Judge Lane bangs his gavel hard")
Jack Daniels: 'NUFF SAID!
(And with that...the scene fades to black...)