*The scene opens and we find ourselves in the middle of some huge parking lot. There's no inidication of why we're here at...wait, where are we? The camera pans around until we see a sign reading "Beaver Valley Mall" hanging over its entrance. And just then, a black stretch limo pulls up to the mall's entrance. The driver gets out, walks around the limo and opens the door and out comes the NWF Tag Team Champions...Jack Daniels and Evan Douglas. Daniels and Douglas are sporting their tag starps draped over their shoulder. I wonder what we're doing here at the mall. Let's find out...yes let's.*

Jack Daniels: What the hell are we doin' here Evan?

Evan Douglas: We're gonna do some shopping today.

Jack Daniels: Shoppin'? Oh wait, does this place have a liquor store in it? This drunken bastard could stock up some.

Evan Douglas: Yeah it might. but that's not what we're here for. We have more important matters at hand.

Jack Daniels: Whoa whoa...more important matters? Now ya know there ain't nuttin' more important to this drunken bastard than his liquor.

Evan Douglas: Nothing?

Jack Daniels: Well let's just say very...very few things are.

Evan Douglas: Alright, we might have some time to stock up for you Jack. But we can't forget why we're really here.

Jack Daniels: *Looking down, counting a wad of money in his hand* What the hell did ya just say? I'm tryin' to figure out how much we can roll outta here with today.

Evan Douglas: Well I figured that I would take a page from the best, and since you're here, I thought we would do this the right way and make an impact.

Jack Daniels: Wait a second, does this have anythin' to do with our tag title defense this week.

Evan Douglas: It sure does. So what do you think...wanna do this?

Jack Daniels: Let's do this.

*Douglas and Daniels make their way into the mall's entrance and glance at some of the stores as they walk. Daniels begins speaking.*

Jack Daniels: Ya see now Renegadez, these tag team champions figured they would help ya out, seein' as how they are goin' to kick your sorry asses once 'gain this Sunday night. Seein' as how ya bastards can't buy yourselves a win...can't buy yourselves a gold or gold related products for that matter, we figured we'd buy ya a few things to help ya bastards 'long the way.

Evan Douglas: But Jack, it's not Christmas. What's with this idea of buying these assholes stuff?

Jack Daniels: Relax Evan...Jack Daniels knows what he's doin'. Know word goin' 'round is that Crippler has been hot 'bout all of this behind the scenes *grinning*.

Evan Douglas: Yeah, he's been HOT alright.

Jack Daniels: And now that looney bastard has demanded that little Johnnie Storm and Vendetta come back with the NWF Tag Team Titles.

Evan Douglas: Yeah, as if that's possible.

Jack Daniels: That's what I said. I mean take a look at these guys. The sorry bastards don't even know who they are anymore. Each and every day they wake up, they have to stop and think just exactly what name they're gonna use...which moniker they are gonna use. Storm...can ya say identity crisis? Or is it more of a nervous breakdown nowadays? Ya got some madman runnin' 'round knockin' ya on your ass, and ya don't even know who the hell it is. But even more importantly, ya don't even know who ya are. And now ya got Vendetta all fucked up in the head as well. What are we gonna do with 'em Evan? What are we gonna do with the sorry bastards?

Evan Douglas: ****EVAN SPEAKING PART****

Jack Daniels: Good call partner. Let's just see who V and little Johnnie Storm might be today...tomorrow or even Sunday night. Let me take care of this one here Evan. Watch how it's done and then we'll see how ya fare. Now V, Jack Daniels has seen ya 'round since way back when in the NYSWF. Ya were this laid back, quiet yet dangerous guy. And when ya realized that ya couldn't get yourself anywhere, ya did what every unsuccesful, pathetic motherfucker in this business does...and latch onto someone's ass who could take ya places. Not only did ya do that, but ya were brainwashed believin' in all that nihilistic self pitty bullshit. Ya would speak and this drunken bastard would have to whoop out the good ol' dictionary to understand your morbid ass. Now suddenly ya change your ways and ya find yourself..visitin' the children's ward in a hospital and actually smilin' and havin' a good time? Jack Daniels doesn't know what brainwashin' session ya went to this time, but one thing is for sure. Ya left whatever ya had in ya back east in New York. The fight in ya...the anger that boiled your blood and your thoughts. And seein' as ya can't figure out just exactly who ya are know, let Jack Daniels help ya out here. *The continue walking for a moment unitl Daniels spots what store he's looking for...an army surplus store.* Here it is...this one has over written up, down and on the sides of it. Ya see V, with the ongoin' problem this country faces ya should take full advantage of it and cash in big time on it.

*Daniels walks througout the store picking out an item here, and item there...putting together an ensemble for Vendetta. How thoughtful...*

Jack Daniels: This is perfect for ya V. This ensemble fits ya perfect...ABSOLUTELY PERFECT! You can avenge the United States vendetta 'gainst terrorism and suit yourself as G.I. Vendetta. *Daniels dispalys the ensemble which consists of army fatigues...camoflouge pants, matching shirt, vest and belt to hold his ammo and all, and then a plastic watergun to top it off.* Think 'bout it V, ya would be the biggest babyface this side of the rasslin' world has ever seen. Or if that shoe doesn't fit your foot, and ya wanna let the heel out in ya, I can get ya some bed sheets, drab clothing, a stick on full beard, a couple of hundred sessions at a tannin' salon and a donkey to fuck every now and then and presto, ya got the world's most hated guy...Vendetta Bin Laden. Just let Jack Daniels know which route ya wanna go, and he'll be more than happy to give ya your new look. It's so money ya won't ever...ever have to think to yourself 'gain..."Who Am I today?" What do ya think Evan?

Evan Douglas: ****EVAN SPEAKING PART**** Focus on Storm and get him his tutu and all or whatever you want there bro....go apeshit...

Jack Daniels: Very nicely done Evan. Ya took a page outta this drunken bastard's book and used it to perfection. And that's what it's 'bout fellas...perfection. Last time, ya motherfuckers came close...close to stealin' away our titles. Oh so close...yet so far.

Ya bastards know the story of the dirt farmer and the donkey? Yeah, the one where the farmer sits on the donkey and take it for a ride. But to get it to move, the dirt farmer dangled a carrot in front of the donkey. And as the carrot moved, the donkey moved...faster and faster in hopes of gettin' that carrot. Ultimately, the donkey get nuttin'. And ya, bein' the jackasses that ya are, are just like the donkey in that ya chase after desired items that dangle in front of ya. But it ain't no farmer danglin' carrots in front of your crooked eyes. instead, it's Absolute Power danglin' these shiny NWF Tag Team Titles in front of ya *Daniels and Douglas lift their titles from their shoudler and dangle them in the air*. And just like the donkey, ya jackasses are droolin'...ya jackasses are dreamin' for these titles. And just like the donkey, ya jackasses ain't gettin' but ABSOLUTELY FUCKIN' NUTTIN'!

Evan Douglas: ***EVAN SPEAKING PART*** If you wanna add some more smack bro...whatever you want, but if you do, look down at the next part of smack from JD so it flows nicely and fits in...

Jack Daniels: Now how can these two gold wearin' bastards make such claims? Ya see, we reserve the right to say anythin' it is we wanna say. We reserve the right to say it to whomever the fuck we please and whenever. And we reserve the right to...no not make ya sorry bastards listen to these wonderful words of wisodm right here right now...but to make ya listen to a different version of 'em in the squared circle.

When are ya two jackasses gonna finally realize that we can't be beat. When are ya gonna realize that it's Absolute Power puttin' ases in those seats out there...not ya. That it's Absolute Power bringin' in the highest ratings this side of the industry has ever seen...not ya. That it's Absolute Powers' merchandise sellin' out at every event...not yours. Hopefully 'fore ya realize that ya bastards are just like everyone else out there...just a couple of marks. And just like the rest of 'em, you're gonna be chewed up, spat out, pissed on and kicked to the curb after Absolute Power is done with ya motherfuckers. And then...and only then we ya realize that Absolute Power...

Evan Douglas: ****EVAN SPEAKING PART**** Add in anything you want bro...if not, we can just end it with the catchphrase, or throw in another one...

Jack Daniels: Damn, rippin' 'em a new asshole has made this drunken bastard thirsty. Where's the damn liquor store in this place?

Evan Douglas: I think it's right next to toy store down there.

Jack Daniels: Oh good, after this gold wearin' drunken bastard stocks up, we can swing by the toy store and pick up some plastic replica tag titles for the Renegadez. Ya know, this way after we whoop their asses, we can give 'em those plastic titles to make 'em feel like they actually won for a change.

Evan Douglas: That will be the closest they will ever come to holding tag titles...for damn sure.

*And with those words of wisdom from Absolute Power, the scene fades to black...*