*The scene opens to an extreme closeup of the letter "T". The camera begins to slowly zoom out. The letters "a"..."g"..."t"..."e" all start becoming visible on a gold background. Then it all becomes clear..."NWW World Tag Team Championship". Yeah you guessed it, it's none other then the newly crowned NWW Tag Team Champions....Jack Daniels and Evan Douglas. Both men are walking down a street with the NWW tag titles draped over their shoulders. Where are they exactly? Who knows. Let's just cut to the chase and see what the greatest tag team has to say.*

Evan Douglas: Ahhh...doesn't it feel good Jack?

Jack Daniels: *Taking a swig from his bottle of Old No.7* Oh yeah...ya better believe it does. There's nuttin' like that first swig from a bottle of Ol' No.7.

Evan Douglas: No, I'm not talking about the damn liquor. I'm talking about being tag team champions...once again.

Jack Daniels: Oooohhh...ya mean that. Hell yeah it does. It's just as good, if not better, than the first time.

Evan Douglas: Remember the first time Jack? Remember how we kicked the Renegadez asses allover that ring and were crowned the first ever and the greatest NWF tag team champions?

Jack Daniels: Yeah, how could this drunken bastard forget? But what Jack Daniels meant by the first time was it's just as good, if not better, than the first time ya open up a bottle of Ol' No.7 and take your very first swig. *Evan just looks at Daniels* Well it is.

Evan Douglas: Well we need to forget about the past now and focus on the future. We need to focus on our next victory against Kanyon and Jon Storm.

Jack Daniels: Kanyon and Johnnie Storm? Holy whiskies, this drunken bastard almost forgot.

Evan Douglas: Almost forgot what? That they're our opponents this week?

Jack Daniels: No no...cut Jack Daniels some slack Evan. My brain cells may be swimmin' in Ol' No.7, but they ain't drownin'...yet. I'm talkin' 'bout our promo 'gainst this disfunctional team. It's in the bag Evan...just follow this drunken leader.

*Daniels stops to find his way to wherever he has planned on going. Daniels finds the direction and begins walking as Evan follows and begins to speak.*

Evan Douglas: Look what we have here..Jack Daniels and Evan Douglas do exactly what they say there were going to do.. kick the living shit out of Psycho Circus and win the NWW World Tag Team Championship.. and the first people that put their hands up to try to take them away from us.. are yes.. you guessed it.. the two most self obsessed wrestlers on the entire roster. Do they have a reason to kiss their own reflections? I suppose they might.... if they were anything like Evan Douglas and Jack Daniels.. but seeing as they are nothing like Absolute Power.. I should think it would be quite difficult to even get up in the mornings. Vanity is not a word that is thrown around the ego packed locker rooms of a wrestling promotion.. but Kanyon and Jon Storm bring new meaning to the word. Look at them..they strut around like they are the greatest things since the beginning of the world simply because they are the two top ranked wrestlers in this company.. well Evan has something to say about that.. neither of them deserve to be where they are.. especially Jon Storm.. simply because they buddy up to the president and jump whenever he tells them too.. they are granted more television time.. more high profile matches and bigger contracts.. no wonder the ratings for Rage are steadily decreasing as the weeks go by.. the people do not want to see a fossil and a pretty boy slapping each other and pulling each others hair every week.. people want to see Evan Douglas and Jack Daniels dismantle people.. they want to see Absolute Power laughing in the faces of their pummled opponents.. So I suppose.. it will be alright for Evan to say.. that finally.. the NWW fans are going to get what they want this week.. finally the NWW fans are going to be able to watch the pretty boy and the old man get absolutly fucked up by the greatest tag team in the history of professional wrestling.

Jack Daniels: Think 'bout it fellas. Is this match 'gainst the greatest tag team to ever set foot in a ring really at your best interest? Two men who just happen to find themselves at the top of the NWW, wantin' to step into a ring together 'gainst the NWW Tag Team Champs in Absolute Power and get absolutely crushed and humiliated? IS that what ya really want for yourselves? Ya know, to be quite honest, this drunken bastard couldn't give two shits what ya bastards want for yourselves. Ya gone and fucked up now bitches, cuz all Jack Daniels knows is that it's too late. Ya put the pen to the paper, and now Jack Daniels is gonna put his drunken foot to your sorry asses. It's just the way it goes fellas, and Jack Daniels and Evan Douglas wouldn't want it any other way than to kick your asses and prove to the world and most importantly yourselves that ya both...ABSOLUTELY SUCK!

Evan Douglas: Tell me Kanyon and Jon...how do you plan on acting like a functional unit in the ring and compete against Absolute Power? Forget that, how do you plan on looking good? No not even, how the fuck do you plan on actually surviving?

Jack Daniels: Excellent question Evan. And I'll tell ya what, why don't we let both Kanyon and little Johnnie Storm answer those questions. Follow me.

*Daniels and Evan walk into a building. They head for an elevator and up they go. Elevator doors open and they walk down a hallway. They find themselves in front of a set of double doors that reads "The Jerry Springer Show". What the...tell me Jack Daniels and Evan Douglas aren't going to do what I think they're going to...too late. They've already made it inside the studio. The set is packed with an audience as Daniels and Douglas grab a seat in the back. Jerry Springer is seen on the stage getting his last second preparations and instructions.*

Voice: Alright people, we're ready to roll *everyone scurries off the stage except for Springer*. In 5.....4....3....2.......*Music hits*

Jerry Springer: Hello everyone and welcome. Often in life people have trouble getting along with one another, whether it be companions, co-workers, lovers, friends, or partners. On today's show, we have people with different relationships that need to either live with each other before they kill each other. So ladies and gentlemen, let's meet our first guest, please welcome...Kanyum.

*What the...it's Kanyon. Alright, so it isn't, it's really Kanyum...close enough. Kanyum takes a seat.*

Jerry Springer: Hello Kanyum. Now you have a dilemna on your hands if I understand the situation correctly. You're a professional wrestler, and this week, you have to team up with a partner that you can stand. Why not?

Kanyum: *In his annoying New Jersey accent* You don't understand Jewwy...I can't just stand him...I hate him. He has the bawlls to say that Kanyum isn't worthy enough to not only be his partner, but that Kanyum can't challenge for his title? I mean what's up with that? That's bullshit.

Springer: And why aren't you worthy enough for any of this?

Kanyum: I don't know. That guy is whacked. He's full of himself. He thinks he's theo nly one that exists and that Kanyum is overrated. How we supposed to beat the greatest tag team this week if he can't even respect me and my flatliner?

Springer: Why don't we bring him out and see if we can work this situation out. Everyone please welcome Johnnie Sterm.

*There he is...Jon Storm. Alright, so that ain't really Jon Storm either...it's Johnnie Sterm, close enough. And Sterm ain't taking a seat, instead he rushes at Kanyum and knocks hhim off his chair. And we got ourselves the first Springer brawl of the show. It becomes a clusterfuck as always though as security break it up the fight and calm Kanyum and Sterm down. They distance the chairs from each other and finally both men are seated.*

Springer: Sterm, what's going on here? Why do you hate this man? He's going to be your partner this week, I don't think this is the best way to go about this.

Johnnie Sterm: What the hell do you know Springer? Kanyum here is nothing but scum. He's sooo completely unworthy of everything he has done in his career. And now they make me be his partner? This is a conspiracy.

Kanyum: You yelling conspiracy theory? You got to be fucking kidding me?

Johnnie Sterm: No, I ain't kidding nobody. Me teaming with you is an absolute joke. You suck, plain and simple. And you're going to lose this match all by yourself. I'm not losing this. I can't afford to have blemish on my record.

Kanyum: I'll show you what you're going to lose bitch.

*And what do you know, Kanyum bum rushes Johnnie Sterm and knocks him right on his ass. Punches are thrown and now they are brawling all over the set. Chairs go flying, little stands with flowers and decorations and all that shit is knocked over. The sit is a mess. FInally Springer security is all over this now. Security just takes them to the back as they have had enough of them. Suddenly, Daniels and Douglas, who are almost in tears from laughing, make thier way up to the stage.*

Springer: Whoa whoa...who are you?

Jack Daniels: Easy there Jerry. You're lookin' at Absolute Power. You're lookin' at the two greatest wrestlers to ever set foot in a squared circle who are gonna whoop Kanyon and Storm's asses.

Springer: You mean Kanyum and Sterm's asses?

Jack Daniels: No no...we mean Kanyon and Storm's asses. That there was just a little bit of comedy relief, somethin' to sooth the soul. Now it's time to get serious and drop the final bomb on these bastards. Take it Evan.

Evan Douglas: You finally did it Jon..

You have strived for a very long time to make it havent you Jon? From the first day you saw Evan Douglas climb into the squared circle you have strived to make it to his level. You're finally there now Jon.. you did it. Congratulations. All of your goals.. all of your dreams have finally been fulfilled.. or have they? Have you really made it to Evans level Jon? Simply because you won a meaningless title.. a title that any person in the world could have won given your luck? Simply because you have been nursed through a couple of international title matches by President Eckert? Jon you may have finally made it to the level of Evans success.. but you're still a very long way behind when it comes to character.. when it comes to manhood.. you're still a boy Jon Storm.. you still cower at the sight of a closed fist and you still wet your bed when you have nightmares. Dont think for one second that you're able to stand next to Evan without looking at him with quiet awe Jon.. because you know you cant do it.. you know Evan is still the one man you admire most in this sport.. you know that Evan is still the man.. Back in the NWF you tried to take the gold from Absolute Power.. but you failed.. and then you had a partner that you were actually friends with.. I doubt you fully trust Kanyon to stand in your corner Jon.. in fact.. I highly doubt that you can trust Kanyon.. So forget about becoming the NWW's first double champion Jon.. it isnt going to happen.. Evan Douglas and Jack Daniels are simply too strong.. hell.. You and Kanyon could be the best of friends.. you and Kanyon could have been partners for years and Evan Douglas and Jack Daniels will still be too strong for you.. When you walk out to the ring for the main event at Rage Jon.. dont forget just who it is you are going to be facing.. Your hero, idol and mentour...

Jack Daniels: LIttle Johnnie Storm...yeah this drunken bastard is still callin' ya little. Why ya ask? Cuz the fact that ya pulled a miracle outta your ass twice, once to beat Jack Daniels and the second to win the NWW International title, doesn't make ya a man quite yet. Ya see Johnnie, there's this process in life ya first must go through that we call puberty. That's when ya lose your squeaky voice, and develop a deep voice. That's when ya start growin' hair in places ya never thought they would. That's when ya finally realize just what ya have down in your pants and start appreciatin' it. Of course, ya really can't appreciate it if ya don't...ya know what, Jack Daniels ain't gonna even go there. It's sad 'nuff that ya need to suck up to fed heads to get somewhere in this business. It's sad 'nuff that one minute you're eatin' burritos and the next, lickin' the president's ass hairs. *Imitating Johnnie Storm* No, that's not how I won my title. I worked hard, I have talent *End imitation*. Face the facts Johnnie. NWW International champion or not, you're still nuttin'. No one gives a flyin' fuck 'bout ya. Not the fans...not the boys in the back...not Absolute Power, and most importantly, not even your own partner. That's sad Johnnie. But not as sad as it's gonna be for ya when ya get your ass handed to ya in a fuckin' paper bag and are proven that ya just ain't worth the 16 pounds of gold 'round your waist.

Evan Douglas: So we meet again Kanyon..

I'll admit it Kanyon.. I was a little surprised at your agility in the ring when we faced for the first time a few weeks ago.. but let me assure you.. Evan knows exactly what to expect this time around.. Evan knows he can expect to look across that ring and see a man who has no desire to be there.. a man who would rather be sticking hot needles under his finger nails than teaming with a cocky fuck like Jon Storm.. hey I dont blame you at all for that Kanyon.. but how can you expect to win if you dont want to see your partner win Kanyon? I suppose thats almost like asking what sound one hand clapping would make.. but thats beside the point Kanyon.. it was only last week that you tried your best to cost Storm his international title Kanyon.. how the hell are you going to hold off from dropping his unworthy ass during this match? You're going to be standing in the same ring as your enemy.. you know.. if it were me in that position Kanyon.. I'd say fuck the tag titles and I'd drop that son of a bitch with a chair to the fucking head! And dont think people would hold anything against you if you did do that Kanyon.. I'd praise you for it.. but hey.. thats just me.. but I know you wouldnt do something like that Kanyon.. it doesnt matter how much you hate your partner.. you're too into the "gold" to walk away from an opportunity like that.. You think you deserve all of the gold you can possibly get your hands on.. You're too vain to see the bigger picture.. you cant possibly see that you'd get more out of knocking Storms pussy ass head off and walking away from this match without getting your ass kicked by Evan Douglas and Jack Daniels.. I suppose thats why we are going to be forced to do exactly that Kanyon.. and hey.. Evan will blame you for that.. because you'll have had the opportunity of a lifetime to take out the one man you WANT to take out.. and you wont have taken that chance..

Jack Daniels: It couldn't get any better, could it Kanyon? I mean, ya got up outta your rockin' chair, grabbed your cane and brought your limp carcass back into my drunken ring. Ya swung that cane 'round and 'round, managed to knock some people out with it and got yourself a couple of wins and wouldn't ya know it, you're exactly in the spot where Jack Daniels was 'fore he was taken out for a month...number one ranked in the NWW. Well congradu-fuckin'-lations Kanyon, ya just bought yourself one ass whoopen and a half courtesy of Absolute Power. But maybe the ass whoopen from Absolute Power isn't what ya should be worried 'bout the most Kanyon. Maybe it should be the fact that ya have yourself a little...and Jack Daniels does mean little...partner that prolly wouldn't think twice to knock ya the fuck out. What makes ya think for one second Kanyon, that little Johnnie Storm is gonna be in that ring lookin' out for ya and your best interest? What makes ya think that little Johnnie Storm wouldn't blow this match purposely, just to see ya take a loss? What amkes ya think that ya can beat Absolute Power all by your lonesome self? Cuz in reality Kanyon, that's what this match really is...a handicap match. And if you're not careful 'nuff, ya just might be the one who is handicapped when all is said and done.

Evan Douglas: You know something.. I'm going to have a great time at Rage.. its going to be a laugh watching Pretty Boy Jon Storm and The Old Man Chris Kanyon trying to get along.. trying to keep it together in order to beat Jack Daniels and Evan Douglas.. knowing all the while that not even with their best efforts will they be able to topple the mountain that is Absolute Power.. In our first match since the NWF we successfully kickd the crap out of Psycho Circus.. something alot of people told us we wouldnt be able to do.. hey.. why do you think Evan bet so much fucking money on us? But this week.. we are the favourites.. everyone thinks we are going to whip the shit out of Kanyon and Storm.. and do you know what? They're right! Kanyon and Storm have only lost a handfull of matches between them.. hey.. neither of them have actually had the crap kicked out of them yet.. so this week.. this week they will feel what they are yet to feel here in the NWW.. utter and total humiliation! This week.. Kanyon and Storm are going to be perfectly..

Jack Daniels: And for our final thought today...ABSOLUTE POWER AIN'T TO BE FUCKED WITH! But I guess Kanyon and little Johnnie Storm are just gonna have to find that out the hard way Wednesday night.

Jack and Evan: Till then...MOTHERFUCKERS!

*And with that, the studio audience explodes into a standing ovation as the scene fades to black.*