For the NEWF World Title
The Main Event v. Jack Daniels
*The crowd grows restless, as the Hell in the Cell is being contructed. Kimerly Smith is in the ring, once again handing out NEWF Merchandise as they are holding a trivia contest. Finally, after about 20 minutes, the Cell is complete and NEWF Officials are looking under the ring and around it to make sure no one can get inside it in order to interfere.*
*Finally, we are set to get underway, as the Kimberly Smith steps through the ropes, and takes the microphone. She is handed a peice of paper by the timekeeper, and then looks up to the camera*
Smith: Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the Main Event of the evening, an Iron Man Match to be held in the Hell in the Cell!!! *Huge ovation*
Larry Atkinson: We've waiting a while to crown an NEWF Champion, but we have only this match left to go.
Smith: Introducing first, hailing from our friends North of the Border in Canada, he is the self proclaimed "Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread"...being accompanied by Cassandra, THE MAIN EVENT!!!David Vasquez: The Main Event is getting a rude reception from the folks here in Boston as you might expect, especially after that mockey he just put us all through only a few moments ago.
LA: The Main Event has lied, stolen and cheated to get here, and you wonder what he's got up his sleeve for a chance to the World Title.
Smith: And now introducing his opponent, hailing from the state of Tennessee! He is being accompanied by Electra, and is known as "The Drunken Bastard"...JACK DANIELS!!!
LA: The ovation for Daniels is deafening, as he steps into the ring and stands on the second turnbuckle. He's chugs some of that Old No. 7, and look above Dave.
DA: That ominous, destructive device known as a Hell in the Cell is being lowered down over the ring area, and it just sends chills down your spine. This thing was designed for pain, for injuries. And you can only wonder if either man will actually walk out of this match tonight at all.
The match started off with TME and Daniels on the collar and elbow tie up, and Daniels shoving down TME. The two went to meet each other again, but this time TME kicked Daniels in the stomach, and nailed him in the chest with a big chop, that got a lot of "WOOOOO'S" from the crowd. And with that, they were off. Daniels barreled over TME with a big time shoulder block, and then came back off the ropes and followed it up with a clothesline. TME got back up and tried to connect with a right, but the Drunk One was quick to counter, and pulled TME in for a belly to belly suplex over his head. The crowd was cheering, as Daniels was on a roll as he scooped up TME and hit a nice running powerslam, and followed it up with a series of elbow drops. TME was in dire straights, and was looking for anything to swing the tide in his favor. He caught Daniels by blocking a suplex attempt, and attempted the Event Ender in order to score an early pinfall...However, Daniels had it scouted well, and countered as well, and pulled out the Double Shot! He made the cover on TME, and before you could say a word, Jack Daniels had a pinfall all ready.
Daniels was determind, and we right back to work on TME as he hit a devestating hanging brainbuster, and went for another fall, but could only get a 2 count out of it. Daniels got on top of TME and started pounding away with rights and lefts, as the Boston crowd counted along with the beating. The head referee Mark Turner could do nothing, as it was a no DQ match of course. Daniels got up, and went in back after TME, but TME grabbed Daniels by the tights and flung him outside of the ring in a slingshot motion. And that's where the fun started. TME took Daniels and slammed him against the Cell, and then irish whipped him into the steel steps, sending Daniels flying over in a somersault. TME kept on the attack, and slammed Daniels on the hard concrete. TME then hopped up to the ring apron on the outside, and hit a mini-flying elbow drop on Daniels. TME then routed around under the ring, and produced a steel chair. TME smashed Daniels over the back with the chair, and then set him up against the Cell. He then took a running start, but Daniels moved out of the way and TME ran face first into the Cell and into the chair. And to make it worse, Daniels then took the chair, turned TME around, and slammed him in the skull with the chair into the Cell. Cassandra was screaming for TME to get up, but there wasn't too much he could do. Daniels set up the steel chair in front of the steel steps and then waiting for TME. When TME turned around, Daniels executed a drop toe hold, smashing TME's face into the steel steps. TME went sprawling for the door to the Cell, but there was no way out as Daniels hit a belly to back suplex that folded TME up like an accordian. Daniels then rolled TME into the ring, and took to the top rope for a rare occasion. While Daniels was up there, Cassandra ran over and shook the ropes, causing Daniels to become a member of the Vienna Boys Choir. Electra wasn't about to stand for that, as she came over and screamed at Cassandra. Cassandra put up the hand for the "don't wanna hear it" sign, and Electra slapped her hand away, and then slapped Cassandra. Cassandra speared Electra, and before you knew it...CAT FIGHT!!! The two ladies rolled around on the outside of the ring, as the fans were screaming their approval. Inside the ring, TME reached into his tights and pulled out a pair of brass knuckles. Indeed, TME was gonna pull every possible trick he could think of to win this thing...and he crushed Daniels with a right roundhouse and flattened our Drunken Hero. Mark Turner was disgusted, but had no choice but to slap the mat three times and award the pinfall to The Main Event.
From there it just got ugly, as TME went outside and did the unthinkable. Electra had mounted Cassandra much to the male portion of the crowd's delight, and was slapping her silly. TME came around and pulled Elecra up by the hair. With a sick and evil grin, TME took Electra by the head and rammed her right into the steel post that holds part of the Cell together. Electra instantly fell down, out cold from the blow. TME thought he had done something clever, but Jack Daniels saw this and went absolutely apeshit! He flew out of the ring, spun TME around and in turn rammed his head into the post ten times. Daniels then went and got awrench that was under the ring left by the ring crew, and took careful aim...and just wrecked TME with a shot to the forehead with the wrench! TME fell to the floor after the sickening thud, and then Jack went under the ring one more time and pulled out...ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! A CHEESE GRATER!! Daniels hellbent on revenge went over and raked the cheese grater across TME's head, who violently thrashed around in pain, until Daniels was finished and threw the grater away. And as you might expect, TME was sliced open immensly, and was bleeding all over the place. Daniels was still irate, the adrenaline pumping, as he propped TME up against the Cell. He then took the steel stairs, took a running charge, and barrled right over TME and broke open the door to the Cell!!! The crowd gasped as TME's head snapped through the door, but Daniels just kept on coming. Daniels took one of the security railings and propped it over TME's throat, and started trying to choke the very life out of the Canandian. Mark Turner pleaded with Daniels, and after about 20 seconds he finally let go. Daniels reached into the crowd and pulled out a sledgehammer! He was about to permanently end TME's career, when Cassandra jumped on Daniels back, and clawed him leaving marks that looked like a cat had just torn up Daniels back. Daniels turned around, and Cassandra tried to run, but Daniels caught her. Daniels tucked Cassandra's head between his legs, and lifted her up, powerbombing her right on top of TME! Daniels then fell down on top of TME, and Mark Turner counted 3 one more time.
Now free of the confines of the Cell, Daniels could use the Cell as a weapon itself. Daniels grabbed TME by the feet, and slingshotted him right into the Cell, causing it to bend, but not break. Daniels did this three more times, and TME just crumped to the ground in a bloody heap. Daniels went over and took a drink out of the old bottle of No. 7 that he brings to the ring, and the fans went nuts as he went back over to TME. TME however had found the remains of the broomstick used in the Napalm/Weitz match, and turned around out of desperation and impaled Daniels right where God bestowed him. Daniels turned white, and fell to the ground in pain. TME stood up, barely able to keep his balance, and went over to the announcers table and cleared off the top. He then dragged Daniels over to the table, and slammed his head on it several times, and then started climbing the Cell! Is this man insane! TME got to the top of the cell, and a recovering Cassandra went over and held down Jack Daniels legs. TME LEAPS...DEAR GOD!!! TME LANDED ON TOP OF DANIELS FROM 15 FEET IN THE AIR, AND THE TABLE JUST SMASHED INTO LITTLE TINY PEICES! WHAT A SUICIDAL MOVE BY TME, BUT IT PAID OFF BIG TIME!!! But of course, he needed help from Cassandra to pull it off! TME rolled over and laid a limp arm on top of Daniels, and Mark Turner slapped the ground 3 times. Neither man was even moving at this point, as the halfway point of the match had now passed by 5 minutes.
The crowd was stunned at what they had seen, as Jack Daniels was clearly on the losing end of the battle at this point in the match. TME stood up first, and started to climb the Cell again!!! Electra had finally come around, and was on the outside of the ring! Electra took Cassandra by the hair, and did a helicopter spin with her, releasing Cassandra who went flying headfirst into the Hell in the Cell! Cassandra was down, andElectra went over and poured some No. 7 on Daniels, who finally revived and looked up to see TME climbingthe Cell. Daniels got up, and pulled out three tables from ringside and stacked them on top of each other after several moments of maneuvering and some help from Electra. Daniels then climbed up the Cell, but TME met him with a kick to the face. TME tried to punt Daniels off the Cell, but Daniels blocked the kick and pulled the other foot out from under TME, causing him to lose his balance and fall. Daniels climbed on top of the cage, and the two men stood atop the monstrous structure, flash photography being taken at every moment. Daniels and TME slugged it out, each man exchanging rights and lefts before finally The Drunk One blocked a right, kicked TME in the stomach and DDT'd TME onto the steel of the cage. Daniels went to pick up TME, but TME snuck in a low blow and in turn hit a piledriver on Daniels! The top of the cage looked as though it were going to give way for a moment, but it held the impact of that manuever. TME looked around, and took a chain off the top of the Cell and wrapped it around his hand, and punched Daniels in the face several times with it, until Daniels himself was bloodied and busted wide open as well. TME then choked Daniels for a while, before finally releasing the chain from around his neck. TME body slammed Daniels on top of the Cell, and then hit a knee drop that once again got the fans nervous about the Cell coming undone. TME then picked up Daniels and grabbed him by the hair, attempting to throw him off the Cell. Daniels had enough to block it, and shoved TME backwards towards the middle of the Cell. Daniels rushed TME, who ducked and Daniels head hit the steel of the supporting cable from above, bouncing him back. TME ran and hit a clothesline, knocking Daniels further towards the ledge! TME then picked up the chain, wrapped it around his hand one more time and landed a haymaker on Daniels who teetered on the edge! TME walked over and simply poked Daniels in the chest, who lost his edge....DOWN GOES DANIELS!!! HOLY MOTHER OF THE FUCKING LORD!!! DANIELS PLAN BACKFIRED ON HIM!!! JACK DANIELS JUST WENT 15 FEET HIMSELF, AND THROUGH THREE TABLES!!! DANIELS HAS BEEN BROKEN IN HALF...HE SHOULD BE DEAD!!! The crowd was deathly silent, as TME climbed down the Cell, and put a cover on Daniels, and the ref counted to three! This has to be the end of Jack Daniels!!!
TME took Daniels and threw him into the cage again for good measure, and then stomped on him repeatedly, mocking Daniels by making a drinking sign with his hand. TME went over and grabbed his customary bottle of NyQuill, and went to spray Daniels in the face...but Daniels somehow managed to punchTME in the stomach, and TME had to swallow the NyQuill! And YES! TME, being the NyQuill addict that he is, seems to be geting rather drowsy...he's on a NyQuill HIGH!!! Daniels, somehow with a will from God, got up and hit a gut wrench powerbomb on TME, who was off in la-la land from the drugs. Daniels however had a cure for that, as he took TME and wedged him into the door...and the SLAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!! DANIELS SLAMMED THE DOOR RIGHT ON TME'S FACE!!! TME crumbled to the ground, as Daniels, still with a few splinters in his backside, threw TME into the cage and back into the ring. Daniels quickly went over to his corner, and grabbed a bottle of No. 7 again! This time however, Daniels went over and poured it into TME's Mouth! TME turned greed, as he clearly didn't want to swallow this alchohol! Daniels grabbed TME by the head, put his head under TME's chin, and kneeled down, hitting a jawbreaker that made TME swallow the No.7 and also made TME start spraying blood out of his mouth! Daniels was back in command somehow, and TME was acting like he needed to hurl. (Let's face it, NyQuill and No. 7 just can't be a good combination in the stomach) Yes folks, TME was drunk off of just one shot of Jack Daniels, as the wrestler was on a roll. Daniels went out and grabbed one of the steel chairs from earlier, and went to the top rope. TME wason his back, as Daniels lept and drove the chair right into the stomach of TME! THEM writhed around in pain, and sure enough....crawled over to the side of the ring and vomited onto the floor! The crowd was completely disgusted, and Daniels thought it was immensely funny. Daniels went and grabbed TME's bottle of NyQuill, and waited for TME to stand up. When he did, Daniels swung as hard as he could, as the bottle connected and broke, with NyQuill flying all over the place. TME landed flat on his back in the spread eagle position, and Daniels fell over on top of him. Mark Turner then slapped the mat, and we had new life for Jack Daniels, who was about out on his feet.
And then...it got interesting, as if it could anymore.
LA: And...DAMMIT! You knew this would happen, here comes Spencer Barrington down the ramp! Barrington is into the ring, and he's picked up the steel chair! Barrington tosses it to Daniels, and spins and hits a viscious kick into the chair that slams into Daniels face! Barrington is heading up to the top rope, he wants revenge on Daniels for last weeks loss!!! BARRINGTON LAUNCHES...THAT'S SENSATIONAL!!!! BARRINGTON SCORES, and this matchup should be over!!! Barrington rolls TME on top of Daniels, and Turner has to count!!!!
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NO!!!!!! Jack Daniels kicked out!!! Barrington is beside himself!!!
DV: GRADY SMITH!!!! That crazy sunnova bitch is out here!!!
LA: Barrington doesn't see him!!! And Grady hits the ring...CHOKEBUSTER!!! Grady hit the Chokebuster on Spencer Barrington!!! Grady throws Barrington out of the ring, and he's got the chair...WHAAAAAAAAAM!!!! HOME RUN FOR GRADY SMITH!!! Grady reverses the tables and Daniels places an arm on top of The Main Event!!! TURNER TO THE MAT!!!!
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3, NOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Somehow, someway, The Main Event got a shoulder up!!!! Can you believe what we're seeing here?!?! Grady Smith has left the ring, as Barrington is back up, and Barrington and Smith are brawling all the way back to the locker room!!! This place just about exploded, as we're under 3 minutes left in the match!! The next pinfall will certainly win it!!!
DV: And how the hell does either man kick out, after enduring as much as they have in this match?!?! It's unreal!!!
LA: TME and Daniels are on their knees, and they're STILL fighting it out, slugging each other with righthands! TME with a thumb to the eye! And yet ANOTHER shortcut by the Canadian! TME is too his feet, and stands waiting for Daniels to get up! Daniels does, and a superkick by TME...DANIELS DUCKED...OOOOOH NOOOOOOO!!!! MARK TURNER DIDN'T DUCK, AND THE REFEREE IS OUT COLD!!!
DV: HOLY SHIT, DO YOU SEE WHO I SEE?!?! IT'S....IT'S CRAZY CANUCK!!! WHERE THE HELL HAS HE BEEN?!?! WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?!?!
LA: That's an excellent question, as the last time we saw him, he refused to face Spencer Barrington in a match and walked out! HE'S...HE'S GOT DANIELS BOTTLE OF NO. 7!!! CANUCK TO THE APRON, AND DANIELS SEES HIM!! DANIELS CHARGES...TOO LATE!!!! CRAZY CANUCK SHATTERED THAT BOTTLE OF DANIELS HEAD, AND DANIELS TURNS AROUND...EVENT ENDER!!!! THE MAIN EVENT HIT HIS MOVE!!! CRAZY CANUCK IS OUT OF HERE, THAT DAMN BASTARD!!!
DV: But there's no referee to count the fall!!! TME hurt himself!!! He took out the man who would give him the World Title!!!
LA: TME gets up off of Daniels, and slaps Turner in the face...Turner finally gets up...WHAT?!?!?! EVENT ENDER ON TURNER!!! NO!!!! THAT SICK, TWISTED BASTARD!!! How the hell can he do that to the referee!?!?
DV: DANIELS IS UP!!!!
LA: TME doesn't even know it!! TME is impressed with himself, but he doesn't see what's coming...LYNCHBURGH LOWDOWN!!! DANIELS COUP-DE-GRA, THIS IS OVER!!!! But there's no referee again!!!
DV: WAIT A MINUTE!!! LOOK!!!
LA: IT'S KANYON!!! THE COMISSIONER IS HERE!!! KANYON RACES IN!!!
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3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THE BELL RINGS!!! THIS ONE IS OVER!!! JACK DANIELS IS THE NEWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!!!!!
*"Calm Like a Bomb", by Rage Against the Machine blares over the speakers, as the fans have completely lost their mind at this point! Cassandra and TME limp out of the Hell in the Cell, dejected and beaten on this night, as Electra jumps up and flies into Daniels, giving him a HUGE hug in celebration! Comissioner Kanyon heads over to the time keepers table, and pulls out a black bag. He then enters the ring with a microphone.
Comissioner Kanyon: Jack, I know you've worked your ass off for this, and here it is! *Kanyon reaches into the bag, and displays for everyone the shiny and sparkling new NEWF World Heavyweight Title.* It's your night Jack, enjoy it! LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THE NEW NEWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD...JACK DANIELS!!!!!
*The Crowd gives Daniels as standing ovation, as Kanyon puts the NEWF World Title around Daniels waist, and raises his hand in victory. Kanyon then leaves the ringside area, and heads to the back, as Daniels and Electra stand in the middle of the ring to celebrate. Daniels brings out the last bottle of No. 7 in the building, and takes a long victory drink for the roaring crowd! We roll to the credits, as Daniels and Electra finally leave the ring area, and stand on top of the stage as the NEWF World Heavyweight Champion stands victorious, and we fade to black.*
Your Winner and NEW NEWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: Jack Daniels