(The scene opens to the streets of the city of lights…Las Vegas. It is in the evening hours, so the city is lit up by all the bright lights from the hotels and casinos. The camera focuses on a black stretch limo. The scene switches to the inside of the limo. Inside we see none other than Jack Daniels. Daniels is sitting back relaxing, taking in a bottle of Old No.7, as usual. He takes a swig and then wipes his mouth. He looks up to the camera and begins speaking…)

Jack Daniels: Well…well…oh f*ckin’ well. It’s good to see that ya could come ‘long for the ride with this drunken bastard. Ya see, Jack Daniels figured he’d take all of ya ‘long for this ride while this drunken bastard gets loaded and sees just what Las Vegas has to offer him. Hey jackass, lower that window so this drunken bastard can speak with the driver.

(The cameraman lowers the window partition in the limo. We can see the limo driver’s face in the rear view mirror.)

Jack Daniels: Hey driver, this drunken bastard needs to make a stop.

Driver: Sure thing. Where do you need stop?

Jack Daniels: I don’t know. Hell, wherever they got liquor and some pussy in the same place. Shouldn’t be too hard to find anyplace like that ‘round here.

(The limo pulls over within seconds of Daniels saying that. Damn, I guess it wasn’t that hard to find a place like that. Anyway, Daniels steps out of the limo as a few hookers coming walking up to the door. Daniels shrugs them off and walks inside some strip bar. It is dim and fairly crowded as women are seen dancing naked on stages, in cages, on tables, on people, wherever the f*ck you want basically. Daniels walks over to table and takes a seat. A bottle of Old No.7 is brought over to him almost immediatley…must be a regular here. Suddenly a half naked woman is dancing her way over towards Daniels.)

Jack Daniels: Shit, this bitch here looks familiar. Damn, look at the body on her.

Dancer: Why hello there Jack. How about a little private dance?

(She takes off her panties, but the good ol’ CWA censors are there just in time to blur everything inapproapriate. She starts to give Daniels a lap dance as he takes a swig from his bottle of Old No.7.)

Jack Daniels: Hell, why not. I could use something to take my mind off of my match this weekend against Venom.

(Just like that, the stripper stops and looks at Daniels funny.)

Dancer: Did you say Venom?

Jack Daniels: Well hell yeah. Why?

Dancer: Venom was in here last week and well…maybe I shouldn’t say anything. Maybe I should just continue dancing for you.

Jack Daniels: Hell bitch, ya ain’t gonna leave this drunken abstard hangin’ like that. Ya better speak up or ya can dance your skank ass outta here.

Dancer: Ok…ok. You know how Venom talks all that shit and about how he goes around f*cking this hoe and f*cking that hoe. Well, he was in here last week and I took him into the back room. You know the back room. Anyway, I started dancing for him and when it was time to get it on, well let’s just say that his little homie was a little hard to find. And you know this place isn’t equipped with microscopes.

Jack Dnaiels: (Daniels busts out laughing) BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, that’s too f*ckin’ funny.

Dancer: Yup, that’s right…(She makes a fist and extends her pinky for an obvious indication) But wait, that’s not it…

(Daniels can’t hear her from all his laughing so he just gets up and walks out of the joint. He walks by the hookers once again and back into the limo and the limo drives off.)

Jack Daniels: Well, how do ya like that. Mr. ‘Extreme Superstar’ is not all that he’s hyped up to be. And this drunken bastard ain’t just talkin’ ‘bout in the ring if that bitch in the strip club has her facts straight. But ya know, it ain’t much of a big surprise to Jack Daniels. Ya see, that m*therf*cker is all talk and nuttin’ else. And if anyone knows that, it’s this drunken bastard. Ya see, Venom and Jack Daniels go way back. Shit, we would drink our f*ckin’ brains out, in other words, a normal day for Jack Daniels. And then he goes on and on and on ‘bout he could use some f*ckin’ pussy and all that shit. And then he goes on ‘bout his 105 pound balls. Shit Venom, it’s time for ya to take a step into this little thing we have here, it’s called reality, bitch. Hold on a sec. Hey driver, pull over here. Is that…shit I think it is.

(The camera turns and looks outside the window of the limo. Out on the street we see Anita Manda Gimmedik. No, not someone who looks like her, but it’s actually her. Daniels lowers his window, sticks his head out and begins talking to Anita…)

Hey Anita, what ya doin’ out here on the streets this late at night?

Anita: Well, since Ramon is away, I was kind of lonely and could use some company.

Jack Daniels: Hell, why don’t ya just hop on in? This drunken bastard will give ya some company.

Anita: Yeah? You sure Electra won’t mind?

Jack Daniels: Are ya kiddin’ me? Get in this damn limo, will ya?

(Anita hops in and the limo drives off again.)

Jack Daniels: So tell me, ya have been with your share of guys ‘round here in the CWA, is it true what they say ‘bout Venom?

Anita: VENOM?! Eeeewww…please don’t bring his name up.

Jack Daniels: Well listen here, this drunken bastard has got himself a match with Venom this weekend so you’re gonna be hearin’ his name more times than bottles of Ol’ No.7 I drink. And believe me baby, that’s a f*ckin’ lot. So ya either tell me what ya gotta tell me ‘bout the sorry bastard or ya can take walk the rest of the way back. What’s it gonna be?

Anita: Alright, alright. You see, Venom tried to rape me one night. We were both piss drunk and he thought he could just f*ck me like all those other hookers he’s always messing around with. Well, first off I don’t see how the prick could rape me because…well, let’s just say that his dick found a lower denomination than the millimeter in our metric system. And if that’s not enough, well let’s just say he’s contaminated.

Jack Daniels: What in the hell do ya mean, contaminated?

Anita: He has got a flaming case of…HERPES!

Jack Daniels: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hell, Jack Daniels ain’t the least bit surprised cuz he’s always runnin’ ‘round with some Vietnamese hookers that were laid up ‘fore they even popped outta the oven. Damn, what a f*ckin’ sick individual. So what was all that bullshit ‘bout ya in his interview last week?

Anita: He got al pissed because he tried to f*ck me like one of his whores. And since he couldn’t, he went and paid some cheap whore to look like me and pretend to be me. And then he thought he could insult me with some of his cheap, perverted remarks. Fact is, that asshole never got a glimpse of this sweet snatch down here. He can’t handle it.

Jack Daniels: Ya don’t say? Well, why don’t we just get a look at it and let this drunken bastard be the judge of your snatch?

(Anita slowly lifts up her skirt to reveal that she has on a pair of silk black panties underneath. She puts her hand down there as she spreads her legs a bit and moves her underwear to the side as the censor quickly comes into place and blurs out the sweet sight. She pulls her skirt back down and the censor is removed.)

Damn…ya m*therf*ckers have no damn clue on what you’re missin’ here. That pussy of yours is sweeter than Electra’s. But don’t tell her that.

(The limo comes to a stop as the driver gets out and opens the door. Anita gets out and then Daniels gets out. We find ourselves in front of a hotel. They walk in as the scene fades for a moment before fading back in. We are now in Daniels hotel room. Electra is lying in bed as they both walk in. Electra looks somewhat shocked, yet happy as well. Daniels takes a look at Electra, then Anita and then looks into the camera and grins.)

Now Anita, ya know Electra. Why don’t ya go over there and get comfortable. Ya both just sit back and get comfortable while this drunken bastard serves up a round of Jack Daniels for Venom. Venom…Venom…Venom……

(The camera can’t help but to focus on Electra and Anita who seem to be getting ready for Daniels. Daniels grabs the camera and focuses it on him as he begins speaking again…)

Keep the camera on Jack Daniels jackass. We’ll have plenty of time to get to that later. Now, since you’re here, this drunken bastard might as well use this time to leash out a verbal tirade on this Extreme no good, small dick, perverted, porno star wannabe, 9 to 5, ham ‘n eggin’, herpes spreading m*therf*cker who can’t beat his own meat cuz half the time he can’t f*ckin’ find it. BWAHAHAHA! Now that’s pathetic. Shit, ya know, I would have never of thought that even ya V, would sink so low. Ya know, there used to be a time when Jack Daniels was damn proud to roll with the FTW back in the day. I used to like the fact that ya and this drunken bastard were one of the greatest tag teams to grace a rasslin’ ring. We stepped in one night, took the tag gold like a bottle of Ol’ No.7 and a hooker on a cold night. And we were damn near unbeatable. Hell, there wasn’t anyone that could dethrone us. But now, after what ya and your little butt buddies in FTW did to Jack Daniels, not only am I disgusted…but I’m pissed. Hell, ya could have come out and told this drunken bastard we got a different agenda this time ‘round and ya just don’t fit in. No, ya pussies had to try and get rid of The Drunk One by nearly burnin’ his drunken ass to a f*ckin’ crisp. Now, every time I hear the word "FTW", it just makes me wanna puke like a rookie ‘fore the big game. And believe me, it’s not the liquor comin’ up. It’s all the hard work Jack Daniels put in…all the sweat dripped…all the blood shed…and hell, maybe some of the f*ckin’ liquor that wants to come right back up. Ya are a disgrace not only to the rasslin’ business, but to the human population. But don’t ya worry ‘bout that cuz this drunken bastard is gonna see to it that he puts a piece of trash like yourself outta your f*ckin’ misery and saves the human race of a herpes spreadin’ sunuva bitch that can’t keep his pants on for more than two minutes at a time.

Now, let’s get somethin’ straight here Venom. The only reason that ya have that gold ‘round your waist is cuz A, Haywood and his little bitch were all up in this drunken bastard’s business whenit was only down to me and ya, and B, you’re a f*kin’ pussy. Now, correct Jack Daniels if he’s wrong, which is never, but when your name was announced and your time came to enter the Rumble, didn’t ya come strollin’ in half an hour later? Alright, alright, Jack Daniels will tell ya like it is. It wasn’t a half an hour. Shit, it was morel ike an hour until that bastard came strollin’ into the rumble to secure him a victory. Ya see, Venom clearly knew that there was no way in hell he could come in when supposed to and survive all the way to the end, which would mean handlin’ a round of Jack Daniels when he would already be three sheets to the wind. He knew he’d end up on his ass and worst of all, on the cold concrete on the outside. So he simply waited it out until he found the perfect time and spot to show up. Hell, anyone can do that Venom and win. Shit, maybe Jack Daniels should have just waited until the last two people were in there and then show up. But ya see, Jack Daniels ain’t the pussy that ya are. Jack Daniels doesn’t need to use cheap, bush league tactics to actually accomplish shit in this business. Now, Jack Daniels does two things and two things only to get to the level he’s at right now. And that’s work his f*ckin’ ass off and drink all the f*ckin’ liquor he can. I don’t need any of my "brothas" out here to help me. But ya obviously do. Just goes to show what kind of a man ya really are. Now actually, that’s what ya call an oxymoron. Ya see it doesn’t show what kinda man ya are cuz the fact of the matter is, ya ain’t a man. Ya ain’t JACK SHIT for that matter. Yeah, ya might have fought some wars back in your day, but ya see, the key phrase there is "back in your day". That was back then Venom. We don’t live in the past bitch. And when ya bring your ass to the present day and step in that ring with The Drunk One, you’re gonna see why Jack Daniels is the future of this industry. This drunken bastard has yet to reach the peak of his career and yet, he has whooped some serious ass in the ring and have laid out some of the biggest superstars to ever grace the squared circle. But ya, ya’ll just be ‘nother peon that once Jack Daniels disposes of ya, ya’ll be quickly forgotten.

(Daniels pauses for a moment to take a swig from his bottle of Old No.7. He wipes his mouth and then begins speaking…)

Venom, ya better get down on your knees and kiss the ass of whomever the f*ck booked this match as a non-title match, cuz ya better believe that if it was a title match, not only would Jack Daniels take your pride and your career, but he’d take your gold in the process. A piece of gold which belongs to Jack Daniels. Ya didn’t prove jack shit. Ya don’t deserve to be Heavyweight Champ. But hell, that’s all said and done and there’s not much that this drunken bastard can do to change the events that ocurred last weekend. While ya proved nuttin’, this Sunday night, Jack Daniels is gonna prove not only to the CWA execs…not only to the fans…but to ya Venom, that Jack Daniels should be Heavyweight Champ right now. Not your pathetic ass. Not someone who hides behind an army of black militants and a pack of dirty, STD infested whores.

Venom, bring all ya f*ckin’ got Sunday night, even though is still won’t be ‘nuff to handle a round of Jack Daniels. Cuz ya see, Sunday you’re gonna encounter an ass whoopen like never ‘fore. And when this drunken bastard is done whoopin’ your ass from pillar to post…whoopin’ those herpes right off your body…whoopin’ all the black outta your ass…you’re gonna realize just why…

Till then…BITCH!

(Daniels turns and faces the bed. There we can see Anita and Electra really going at it. But of course, thanks to those wonderful CWA censors, most of it is left up to your imagination. Daniels looks back into the camera and grins at this site as the scene fades to black.)

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