("Welcom to the Jungle" By G 'N R begins to blare throughout the arena and here comes the man that's going to call this thing right down the middle...President Duane Gates. A man brave enough to declare himself special guest ref in a match where the two opponents literally hate each other and are ready to rip each other's head off. Gates, wearing the pinstripes, gets int he ring to a mixed reaction...)
(Suddenly, without warning, "Know Your Enemy" by RATM begins to blare throughout the arena. The crowd erupts into a chorus of boos as the man, who turned his back on the fans for greater success, makes his way to the ring...Jack Daniels. Daniels looks pumped, carrying his bottle of Old No.7 and you better believe, his A game if he wants to beat Cash here tonight. Daniels taunts the crowd a bit on his way to the ring as he enters the ring and his music slowly fades out...)
(And now, here comes the man..."Money" by Pink Floyd plays throughout the arena and Cold Harding Cash makes his way to the ring to a mixed reaction. After finding out that Jack Daniels was the one behind those viscious attacks, Cash is all business. No smiling, no mocking hte crowd...just a serious look on his face staring directly at Daniels who's in the ring and egging Cash on. Cash rolls into the ring.)
The two men just quickly get up into each others' face and are bad mouthing each other. Gates steps in between them and somehow manages to separate the two of them. They step away from each other and Gates signals for the bell...DING DING! And HERE WE GO...or maybe we don't go. Casha nd Daniels get right back in each other's face, bad mouthing one another. Anyone reading their lips would tell you that they just put a Venom promo to shame with the type of language they're using. Cash pushes Daniels...Daniels pushes Cash back and it's time to get it on. The two lock up and it's a power struggle. Daniels gains the advantage and powers Cash back into the corner. Gates asks for a clean break, and by some miracle, he gets one. The two lock up again, this time Cash gets the advantage and pushes Daniels back into the corner. Gates once again asks for a clean break, and maybe hell has frozen over cuz he gets another....well he's not that lucky cuz Cash takes a swing at Daniels who manages to duck i and roll behind Cash. Cash turns around only to be met with spit right in the face. Cash wipes it off and sees Daniels flipping him off. That's it, time to turn this match into full gear now. Cash storms at Daniels, taking him down, mounts on top of him and begins landing fists of fury...right after right after left. Daniels spins things around and begins landing right of his own, with even more force. They both get up, Daniels charges in, Cash side steps with a drop toe hold and quickly follows it up with an elbow to the back of Daniel's head. Daniels up and is met with a standing dropkick sending Daniels out of the ring and frustrated a bit. Gates begins to count Daniels out, showing no favoritism here. Daniels sets his eye on something....a CHAIR! Daniels grabs a chair and bringing it in the ring with him. Gates stops Daniels up at the ring apron, he wants none of this, at least not yet. Cash gets in the picture as well egging Daniels to bring in the chair. Gates turns around and...GATES JUST SHOVED CASH RIGHT ON HIS ASS! Gates reminding Cash just who the ref is. Cashis up in his face and shoves Gates right into Daniels a matter of fact, who gets knocked off the apron. Gates is in Cash's face threatening to DQ Cash. Cash just stpes back and is smiling. He points behind Gates. Gates turns around.....
WHAT THE FUCK?!?! DANIELS JUST NAILED GATES IN THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR! Daniels stand over Gates like he just climbed a mountain, and now he's met by a bigger mountain...CHC. Daniels winds the chair up...here we go...HI-FIVE?!?! Daniels and CHC JUST SLAPPED HANDS...HOLY FUCKING SWERVALICIOUS...DANIELS AND CHC WERE BOTH IN ON THIS TOGETHER! THIS WAS ALL A WORK! THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN AND BETTER THAN EVER...BUT WHY?! You're about to find out so listen the fuck up...
Jack Daniels: What, and ya thought we were actually gonna give ya Ohio assholes a five star match right here? Oh no...ya motherfuckers don't deserve anythin' remotely close to that *crowd heat* Ya see, Jack Daniels and Cold Hardin' Cash are out here for a reason. Ya see, we've come to realize that we're the strongest...most powerful...two man power trip ever ensembled. It doesn't get any better than this. Since day one, we have been whoopin' asses and takin' names. We have been holdin' the EWA together each and every week. We have been givin' the EWA the ratings it so desperately needs to stay in business. But have we been rewarded for any one this...NOPE! Hell, a mere thank you would have been nice, but noooo, that was just too much for jackass Gates here. So I'll tell ya what Gates, this drunken bastard and Cash will let ya off the hook here easily if ya give us what we want. And what do we want? *Daniels looks down around his waist and around his back and grins* We WANT THE EWA TAG TEAM TITLES! Now hand 'em over bitch.
----CHC speaking part----Gates: EWA Tag Team Titles? Why the hell should I give them to you. You two have done nothing to prove your a good tag team. Hell, you never have even been in a tag team match before. Why should I give them to you when i can give them to a legit tag....
Jack Daniels: *Daniels grabs the mic from Gate's hand and then grabs his throat and throws him down to the canvas* Alright Gates, I was hopin' it woudn't come to this, but ya brough it on yourself like the stupid bitch that ya are. Let me remind ya Gates, just who was one half of the last Tag Team Champs the EWA had 'fore ya shut it's doors. It was JACK DANIELS! And then when ya reopened the EWA, ya went 'round and asked all the title holders at the time of the EWA's closin', if they would like their titles back. Well yeah, ya asked Jack Daniels is he wanted his EWA Television Title back, but I didn't want it. Instead I donated it to charity, hopefully helpin' out some other sorry sunuva bitch egt famous. But ya never asked me 'bout the tag titles. Well I'm back bitch...and I want my fuckin' tag title...no no...WE WANT OUR TAG TITLES! So Solley, I know you're back there, so go fetch 'em up and bring 'em out here right the fuck now or Gates is a dead man. Show 'em Cash.
*Cash grabs a hold of Gates and puts him in some sort of arm lock, damn near ripping his shoulder out of his socket. Gates is screaming and writhing in pain as Cash applies more pressure on the hold.*
Jack Daniels: We got all night Solley...but unfortunately for Gates here...he only has 'bout three seconds left 'fore his shoulder is ripped outta his socket and put him out for good. What's it gonna be Solley.
*Suddenly, Solley emerges from the back with the tag titles in hand. He's begging and pleading for Daniels and CHC to stop as he makes his way to the ring...*
Solley: STOP...STOP IT! Alright, I got your EWA Tag Team Titles right here, so tell Cash to let go of Gates right now.
Jack Daniels: Bring 'em here bitch. I want 'em right here in my two hands...not twenty feet away.
Solley: Ok, ok. Just let Gates go and I'll bring them there to you Daniels.
*Daniels signals for CHC to remove pressure from the hold, and he does. Gates has almost passed oout from the extreme pain he was in. Solley has made his way to the ring apron and extends the titles to Daniels. Daniels reaches out to grab the titles, but Solley drops them to the canvas rather than handing them to him. Daniels just looks down at the titles and then at Solley who isn't very happy at all of this. Daniels beds down to grab the titles and as he does. Cash picks up the chair and...THHWAAAAACCKKK! CASH NAIELD SOLLEY WITH THE CHAIR KNOCKING HIM OFF THE APRON! Solley grabs Gates and helps him to the back but look in the ring, those two men are standing tall and proud...Cold Harding Cash and Jack Daniels, your new EWA Tag Team Champions.*
Jack Daniels: Now all ya bush league tag teams out there have got a new mountain to climb. Feast your eyes on the strongest force this side of the earth has ever laid eyes on. We run this fuckin' show and anyone who thinks otherwise, then step the fuck up and try and prove otherwise. Till then...MOTHERFUCKERS!
-----CHC SPEAKING PART PERHAPS-----*Cash and Daniels, standing tall in the ring with the EWA Tag Team Titles high in the air as fans have about half filled the ring already with just about anything that isn't bolted down. Scene fades to black...*