| My Italian Skit Translated into English |
| Chris and Tony walk into Luigi's Bar Chris: This bar is great! Tony: Professor Ragusin (female) said that it is excellent. Chris: Tony, look at that beautiful angel. Tony: Yeah, she is a beauty. Chris: I'm going to go talk to her. Tony: Okay. Chris: Hi. My name is Chris. What's your name? Tony: Maria. Where are you from, Chris? Chris: I'm from Pennsylvania. Tony: Me too! Chris: West Side? Tony: No, East Side. Chris: How do you get to the "East Side"? Tony: From the West, go east for many miles. At the poconos, turn right and continue straight until you reach Philly. Chris: Great! Allow me to buy you a beer. Bartender! Two beers for the lady and myself. Tony: That's Mister Bartender to you, boy. Chris: Whatever. Two beers, Mister Bartender. Tony: (pissed off) Your ID, please. Chris: (hands bartender ID) Okay? Tony: Yeah, okay...calls police...Hello? Yeah, I'm at Luigi's Bar...whispers into phone...okay! ....Policewoman, the professor, walks in..... Professoressa Ragusin: Luigi! How are you? Tony: Not bad, Officer Ragusin. Chris: Officer Ragusin? Tony: (to professor) You know this kid? Professoressa Ragusin: Yeah, he's a student in my Italian class. Let's go, Christopher! (handcuffs Chris and starts walking out) Tony: Bye Chris. It was a pleasure to meet you. ...becomes the girl again..... Professoressa Ragusin: Good heavens! I forgot about you! (points to girl) Tony: Me?! Professoressa Ragusin: Yeah. You too, let's go! Tony: But why? Professoressa Ragusin: Prostitution is illegal. |
| *Note: I play the friend in the beginning, the girl in the middle, the bartender, then the girl again.* |