Nicknames:   Marcus J, Froggy, Psychofrog, Dutch, Woolmunga.

Date of Birth:   15th October, 1979.

Place of Birth:   Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia.

Lives:   Brisbane, Queensland, Australia.

Nationality:   Dual Nationality - Dutch & Australian.

Lovey-Dovey:   Katrien and I have a beautiful baby boy!

Sibling Rivalry:   A twin sister, Kelly and an ex-brother-in-law Mark. A nice bloke with a square head who also happens to be a Kiwi. We try not to hold it against him.

Descent:   Johannes Michael Willems (Nederland) & Elizabeth Samantha O'Hanlon (Ireland).

Education:   Bachelor of Social Science (Sociology) (Q.U.T.), Graduate Diploma in Social Science (Cultural Studies) (U.Q.), Graduate Diploma in Social Science (Human Services) (Q.U.T.), currently studying a Bachelor of Business (Human Resource Management) (Q.U.T.) (4th year - PT).

Occupation:   Social Researcher.

Ideal Occupation:   CEO and primary taste-tester for Heineken Breweries.

Tongues:   English, Dutch, and about 10 words of Russian. Превосходнo!

Holy Spirit Status:   Baptised Roman Catholic.

Vroom vroom:   2002 Hyundai Accent with the darkest legal tint. Ideal for sneaking.

Weekend Activities:   Doing husbandy-wifey things with the Missus (my personal favourite), playing with my son, watching movies, catching up on lost sleep, surfing, fantasising about touring the world as a professional tennis player, long-distance driving, shooting the breeze with my mates.

Talents:   None.

Deformities:   Many. I won 5 CDs on a nightly radio contest called "Scar Search".

Bling Bling:   Silver neckchain with gold 21st birthday key, my Grandfather's Dutch silver eagle ring, a silver St. Christopher medallion from my sister, and a nice silver wedding ring.

Body Art:   Dutch national emblem on left upper arm.

Hollandse Helden Figuuren:   Kim van Kooten, Johanna ter Steege, Marc Overmars, Dennis Bergkamp, Cas Jansen, Ricky Koole, Patrick Kluivert, Pieter van den Hoogenband, Frank de Boer, Ronald de Boer, Inge de Bruin, Jaap Stam, Edgar Davids, Peter van Gestel, Ronald Koeman, Kitty Courbois, Theo Bos, Edwin van der Sar, Marco van Basten, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Ruud Feltkamp, Roeland Fernhout, Hugo Metsers III.

Celebrity Crushes:    Юлия Boлкoвa, Лeнa Kaтинa, Taтьянa Mиткoвa (HTB), Simona Amanar, Cвeтлaнa Xopкинa, Gina Gogean, Jade Harlow, Eлeнa Дeмeнтьeвa, Eliza Dushku, Thora Birch, Liz de Planta, Mapия Шapaпoвa, Aleksandra Gietner, Aнacтacиa Mыcкинa, Irina Börklund, Daniela Hantuchova, Eвгeния Жигaлoвa, Michelle Holgate, Cвeтлaнa Kyзнeцoвa, Lynn Styles, Oкcaнa Aкиньшинa, Charity Rahmer, Caterina Scorsone.

I gotta see:    Berlin, Kiev, Prague, Warsaw, Brussels, Vienna, Sofia, Riga, Copenhagen, Bratislava, Dublin, Belfast, Hawaii, Dubrovnik, Los Angeles, Chicago, New York, Minsk, Singapore, Hong Kong.

Lurves:   Comfy jeans, Сегодня (HTB), Russia, summer in Europe, long weekends, cold showers on hot nights, watching Ajax Amsterdam at Amsterdam Arena, anything even remotely Dutch, gymnastics, lychees, the beach and ocean, Brisbane Lions FC, poffertjes, Romania, boardshorts, and my missus and baby son (natuurlijk!).

Loathes:   Suits and ties, computers, mobile phones, taxes, hospitals, long plane flights, tight underwear and olives (Eeeuw!).

A fate worse than death:   Window shopping.

Most prized possession:   A German cuckoo clock my Grandfather acquired (read: stole) from the Nazis in Holland - and it still works! Cop that, Adolf.

Utopia:   Finally finding my one true love, hoping the sight of me doesn't make her physically ill, getting married and populating the earth with many little Willemses. One baby down, 19 to go.

Ultimate Hero:   My Grandfather, Michael Dirk Willems. While serving in the Dutch Army (11th regiment) during World War II the Nazis had firstly arranged to send him and his brothers to Germany to build munitions and then, if they turned out to be a pain in the arse, on to Poland to grow potatoes. But Grandad and his two brothers basically said "Bugger 'em!", obtained false papers and disappeared to Friesland where they stayed on Boer Poepjes' (Those who can speak Dutch will understand what this name means!) farm until the end of the war. Grandad also helped to pass messages to and from the Dutch Resistance by hiding them in the soles of his shoes. He had big shoes.