and volvos.

bastards

this is the correct answer. I agree with every feckin word

They are all actors so the question is irrelevant. It's just a product placement for Landrover, but not a very good one because the vehicle has broken down. In fact Landrover should sue them for implying that their products are unreliable and not all suitable for people who live in Chiswick and use these vehicles to do their shopping and drops their kids off at prep school.

My personal thought was "how will they get across?"

Definitely not army material.

Soak the blanket in urine and wave it in the air in order to attract a large Bison. Shoot it, gut it with a sharp spoon, climb inside, and presto!

I reckon you keep it yourself and stuff the lot of 'em!

Bio - How does putting a blanket over the enjine ensure that it starts? If that's right, then ta for the answer.

This is a superb thread.

MarkP, obviously Officer material now...

You're so Licky today, Timmy!

I don't see why the army have to carry out manouvers in inclement weather. Anytime there's a bit of cloud in the sky the RAF take a day off. I think the army should make a stand and insist they only have to fight if it's a comfortably warm day. Also no need for blankets then unless they fancy a picnic on the way. Hoorahh!! and lashings of ginger beer !

"Well done that man! What we need now is a futile gesture.... Off you go in the snow with five other blokes... Don't come back, there's a good chap."

Oh, sorry...

Altogether now... Y..M..C..A..

Send them out with supplies for one, not cut the legs of my trousers, that is

I would if I was the boss.

Why not go the whole hog, cut your trousers down to hot pants and really camp it up..?

If this is an advert to perssuade people to join the army, it sucks.

I wouldn't join an army that sends half a dozen people into the snow with only enough emergency supplies for one.

Or make a tent and play camping out!

Nice thought Mark.

You could use the blanket to dress up as Gunner Gloria then perform an impromptu concert party for the other lads - take their minds off things.

Or are short of a yard or two of entrails!

Pte Gubbins, useless in all situations but when you want some extra blankets knocking up...

There's always gubbins lying around in the back of any Lanrover!

Or put your pants on over your keks, tie the blanket round your neck, leap off the top of the Landrover and fly away to get help

if you're a bit short on gubbins you could drop one of the "really's". But then perhaps if you left it out they might not think it was serious. Better find more gubbins and stick a couple more "really's" in!

You could always suggest that you have a suicide pact and then 'accidentally' forget to load your pistol. With the others ead, you cop the blanket, plenty of fresh meat and it looks like you're a expletiveing hero for being the only one not to crack.

bio - i nearly shat myself at that.

you real funny guy.

Welsh sheep farmers do it all the time.

You could always find out who was supposed to pack the blankets, gut them and use their entrails to keep you warm. Bonus if you get a bit peckish! Then you can use the left over gubbins to spell out "Help we lost and could really, really do with some assistance" on the hilside!

Then you'll be forever a private TD...

I was really relieved about that ad, Simon. I was thinking "How do I get across?", then when it said "If you're thinking "How do I get across, don't phone us"

For a bit, I thought I might have to join the army, but I'm not allowed to ring them now so I can't join.

What about if you're thinking "Shit, we're a bit expletiveed here."

I think I have the answer. If they were all starving and only had a loaf of bread to eat, each person would get a piece each. Therefore the blanket should be cut into various size pieces to ensure that all their extremeties are covered, e.g small strips for their noses, round bits for the tops of their heads, little wrap arounds for their little fingers and tootsies. But I think they should all be given a little handkerchief each in case they start to develop a bit of a chill.

The best thing about the old Army adverts was the gag you could do with the injured bloke/ravine one - when it said 'What are you thinking?', you could say aloud to any present mates 'I'm thinking how I'll get across.' Next message : 'If you're thinking 'How will I get across?', don't phone us'

I didn't like them cos my knees look silly

They were fascinated with my woggle tho

(damn you shananananananhan)

It's them blue A-line skirts innit?

Nope, I was in the Guides. (Should have been in the Scouts but Guides held more appeal, hehehehehe)

eh, Bio, you been trained by our elite fighting force then?

SNOW!

Nows there's a remembrance of things past!

and seasons in the sun

Poly-bagging, ah it's all coming back to me... winters with snow.

If no one's injured, no need for the medic (and besides, the patient would have it). If you know where you are and where you're going, don't give it to the navigator. If the Landrovers working, don't give it to the mechanic. Put the blanket over the landrover's engine and get in the Landrover. Heat generated by close bodies and exhalation will keep them alive and the blanket will ensure the engine starts.
OR
All write your names in the snow with piss and whoever writes the best, gets the blonkit!

hehehe Ice cold in Alex!!

played a great game as an undergrad. our hall was set on gorgeous grounds, with a lake surrounded by steep hills. We would pair up and see who could get nearest to the lake by zooming down the hill in the dark!

Haven't had this good a laugh in ages - thanks all..

this modern bloody army must be a bunch of nancies. I remember John Mills, Anthony Quail, some bloke and some bird having to crank an army ambulance all the way up a sand dune in the searing heat (and having to do it all over again when the silly woman let the hand brake off). Mind you there was an "ice cold" beer at the end of it.

Nah girrrrl, cut a semicircle out of one side at the open end and geddin! no control at all!! Made for great racing - five abreast going down Hill60 in Roundhay Park, Leeds. bloody steep and terraced!

driver is irrelevent, radio chap is irrelevent because I have a dual band GSM mobile phone - so shoot them and sew their skins together to make a second blanket for the medic.

on top; less hassle and more control;-)

Apparently (according to the ad) giving it to the mechanic or the medic or the navigator (I think) isn't any use so who's left?

Did you get inside the bags or ride on top? (oo-er)

i should be king of the army.

Maybe it's a magic blanket and it could whisk them all to safety. In that case you'd give the blanket to the one who knew the magic word.
"Milosevic!"

Ahh Tour of Duty, the late night Vietnam prog for insomniacs!

or too much footbreaking and forward somersault

no steering, no brakes. And why did you always end up going down the hill backwards?

gooner - your suggestion of midgets reminded of that fab late night vietnam series called "Tour of Duty". In one episode a section of the bomb disposal unit turned up and they were all midgets(vertically challenged... ahem) because they were used to go down the fox holes looking for booby traps. Of course because they were all small they suffered from that narky inferiority complex and within two minutes they'd managed to set off the bombs and were all killed. Who said there was no humour in vietman. Made me larf!

aye, plazzy bags for us too

not me n XWP, me and me mates!

hehehe!

xpt we used fertilizer bags!

'and just because we are married, don;t maen we can't sleepo around, i'll take my blanket from the bedroom and lay it on the ground.'

ah, now we know what babbi bio did in the 70s

Get everyone to sit on the blanket and sledge down the hill on it. Won't get you home, but It'll make you laugh. Then make 2 snow castles and have a snowball fight! Then home for teaa with toes and nose tingling for toast in front of the fire whilst Dr. Who's on. Then bed

"lay the blanket on the ground" with Billie Jo Spears

burn the landrover and fly home on the blanket

A "Trojan Squaddie" attack - you could get 10 of the giants to surrender, then all the midgets jump out and the enemy run away! Horay!

why not ensure that all army squadrons are formed from midgets, apart from one giant.

he could have the (very large) blanket, and they could go in his pockets.

good for surprise attacks too.

and for getting into the cinema without paying.

What about the girl that cuts the hole out of that bloke's hood on the bus? She could use those bits of fabric to make a new blanket.....

Yes Mr Ploppy, the winter nights must fly by!

Mikyid - that paint advert where that woman is on the train, and all the poor people are sat there with their chickens and suffering from leprosy; she manages to come up with a paint colour that fits - she could be the landrover interior designer for the army.

I think you cut some eye-holes in the blanket and place it over your head and make a ghostly 'woooo' noise.
That would amuse and entertain thus making the long winter night pass more quickly.

?

Scott's of Antarctica.

May be we have to be more lateral about this one.

Perhaps the answer is not in the blanket......

beria - yeah but what type of wallpaper really says 'feck i'm stuck in the snow miles from nowhere and my bollocks have fallen off from frostbite'
Laura Ashley perhaps?

if they're rugby playeeers, they might shag each other to keep warm.

I would have made sure there were plenty of blankets and a couple of throw-cushions. The army is far too macho. I think it needs a softer, gentle image.

i gotcha. like the 'do you drive off the cliff or bury your wounded soldier in the earthquake rubble?' conundrum one.

(couldn't hug each other)

New army ad gooner, in the "what would you do" stylee of the last few

One blanket, they must be from NATO (or a women did the packing!)

eheheheh!

Give it to Linus, Charlie Brown's mate.

do excuse my original serious answer, but i have no idea what this is all about.

They could hug each other they are HARD squadies!

Why did they only have one blanket? That's not very clever at all.

alternatively, you could make a fire from it!

Feck it!

Burn the blanket and let them all die - its all war and propoganda!

In a very manly way, of course.

exactly.

what are you supposed to do?

do they hold onto each other and share the blanket? that's what i'd do.

I'd have said the radio op as well, but then can anyone send messages? Also, anybody can drive can't they? However, not everyone can treat people for hypothermia, so give it to the medic to keep him going for as long as possible!!

But surely anyone can drive a landrover... But then again they are sqaddies.

Give the blanket to the bloke who drank 20 pints then ironed his mate's hamster.

Yeah its been keeping me awake at night as well.

They are all pretty important aren't they?

I think the radio bloke should have it so that they can keep telling people where they are. Then again the driver should have it so they can reach safety.

However the best solution is to give it to the barman - for obvious reasons!

I have been worried for a while now by the ad on the telly for the Army. The one where you have to decide who to give the blanket to in the snow storm.
I've got two options

1. put it over the land rover engine
   
2. send it to a blue peter bring and buy sale