Can someone write me a very funny
22/11/02 16:01
pins

god damn it i'm going to you know.
I need to make coffee first so I have something to spit out. Missus

22/11/02 15:57
fnord@work

don't - it's dangerous doing it on one sitting

22/11/02 15:57
pins

i think I might have to reread the whole thing in a minute

22/11/02 15:55
fnord@work

ahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha I'm wetting them now

22/11/02 15:53
mentasm

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

22/11/02 15:45
pins

i don't suppose this will end up on best of. It must not be lost!

22/11/02 15:36
fnord@work

this happened while I was on holiday! how dare you be funny without me!

22/11/02 15:34
stevie

Artist: Benefit
Album: B.E.N.E.F.I.T.
Song: If I Owned a Midget

[intro]....
Those midgets are funny hahaha Sometimes I'd like to hold a midget
I mean they're funny
They always wanna sit in the front seat- Word


Life's got me mad
But if I had a midget I'd be glad
To watch him jump around on my nintendo powerpad
He'd have a big head short legs and long torso
The name that I give my pet midget is little Gordo
I'd teach him tricks like backflips and side kicks
When company came over he'd perform and get tips
While I'm eatin at night, in the kitchen he'd be able
To get the food scraps that I threw under the table
If my midget was ever mad and acted enraged
Then I'd take him to the bathroom and put him in his cage
But If he kept acting up and really made me sick
I'd hang him upside down and poke him with a stick
Little Gordo would be good most of the time though
He'd like to wear a helmet and run around yelling Kaiyo
I'd take him for walks in the park on the weekends
And if he saw other midgets he'd say Can we be friends
He'd only need a 3 foot coffin when he was dead
And he'd be in the guiness book for the world's biggest head
What a funny little fellow, but don't call him a shrimp
Or he'll attack your leg cause Gordos a tough gimp
He'd have a pogo ball that he'd bounce on for hours
And dirty little fathead Gordo would'nt take showers
When Halloween came, he wouldn't be a chump
Gettin all the candy goin round as a tree stump

(scratching/chorus)
Midget is a midget
Midget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Midget
Midget is a midget
Hey you guys- Word
Midget is a midget
Midget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Midget
Midget (wo-wo-wo-wo-word) is a midget
Like a midget in a urinal, I was gonna have to stay on my toes

(verse 2)
Sometimes my friends would chase Gordo with a gun
It be fun
Because midgets wobble when they run
They're so close to the ground and so easy to kick
They're so slow in the head and so easy to trick
Gordo could do somersaults his special thing
At the fair I would make him enter mudwrestling
Sometimes he'd wear stilts and pretend to be tall
Then I'd kick him over- and then i'd laugh at him fall
Silly little Gordo, just be yourself
I'd put wood on his head, and he'd just be a shelf
He'd do funny little dances but that's irrelevant
At the beach Gordo got attacked by pelicans
He had a girlfriend once, but she was an ogre
It didn't last long cause he couldn't expletive her sober
Gordo had a problem, Gordo wet the bed
so i'd make him wear diapers on his ass and his head
He'd have to clean up his own cage himself
And if he lost a little weight he'd be a keebler elf
He'd really be something, my mangled little munchkin
Plus his head would be larger then any big pumpkin
This perfect little fool would make a perfect footstool
Sometimes I'd kick him in his head and say "bitch be cool"
I'd have a great life, I'd be happy I know
If I only owned a little pet midget named Gordo
(scratching/chorus)

22/11/02 15:28
soup

yay!

*mwah!*

22/11/02 15:28
pins

here it is

05/11/02 11:26
pins

I think this should go in Best of btw

05/11/02 10:14
snapper

midgets are cool
midgets are nice
use them as stools
piss in their eyes

05/11/02 10:12
Smudger

this is funnier than the footballers poem thread

05/11/02 10:11
HLaS

very funny, and clevver innit

05/11/02 10:10
Smudger

so, he's Leeds, which is nice

05/11/02 10:10
Smudger

Bio's brother

05/11/02 10:10
HLaS

who's bob hump?

05/11/02 09:22
pins

Fine work all, thank you. The poems were very well received.

31/10/02 11:24
HLaS

Once upon a midget dreary, I poked and prodded weak and weary,
He emit many a quaint and curious squeak as I released my seed,
Yet he nodded, whilst yapping, and entreated me with tapping,
As of some dog gently begging, begging for a feed.
`'Tis not enough?' I muttered, `tugging on his lead -
Stature small, but not his anal greed.'

31/10/02 09:18
soup

Dwaarves! Dwarves!
Get em whilst there hot!
Pretend you're Gary Coleman
Even if you're not!
From Whatchou talkin about Willis?
To hard time in San Quentin.

30/10/02 22:56
PWX

dwarf peas
by all means,
but that is where the line must be drawn
drawn being almost an anagram of
dwarf

30/10/02 19:06
joemoz

'Beatles Haiku'

I, Yoko Ono,
Would not have expletiveed John if he
Was a front-bottoming dwarf.

30/10/02 19:05
joemoz

'Dwarf Haiku'

The thing about Dwarfs,
That most people agree on,
Is that they are front-bottoms.

30/10/02 19:03
joemoz

'Hitler Haiku'

Tidy little tache,
Stiff teutonic side parting,
But proper full legs.

30/10/02 18:54
Simon_T

What about a haiku?

Dwarf, just standing there
What of the world do you see
You short arse bastard?

30/10/02 18:47
tree

haha. excellent

30/10/02 18:44
joemoz

The thing about Hitler
That you must remember
Is, at least he wasn't a Dwarf

30/10/02 18:09
Craigey

show us your bom?

*gone*

30/10/02 18:09
tree

hehehehe. i've been outed!

it's a fitting tribute. thankyou >:o]

30/10/02 18:08
Craigey

there once was a shortarse called mathew
whose name was mathew
he was sometimes called tree
to all his friends delight
but his real name was mathew

30/10/02 18:04
tree

a naughty shorty

30/10/02 18:04
Craigey

shortarse!

30/10/02 17:59
tree

you're naughty!

30/10/02 17:59
tree

hehe kinky. yep, a very short 6'3"

30/10/02 17:56
A franKINKYstein - 69

your a short arse aren't you tree?

30/10/02 17:56
Craigey

There once was a dwarf named shorty
Who lived underneath the M40
He polished the signs
Repainted the lines
And shouted at speedsters: you're naughty!

30/10/02 17:52
tree

stevies 16:03

hehehe

30/10/02 17:45
bob hump

You're so munted
with your growth so stunted
why don't you just expletive off and go get front-bottomed
Jody Morris

30/10/02 17:36
Azul Buho

Hehehe

30/10/02 17:33
bob hump

Small
Like a ball
Not tall,
Don't fall
On your arm
And come to harm
Nick Barm.............by

30/10/02 17:32
HLaS

Being tall is vexing
taxing bending down for doors
beds don't fit
large height is shit
I'd be happier closer to floors

If only I were a little man
with damn wrist closer to cerebrum
for this I'd thank
though I couldn't wank
or wipe efficiently my bum

30/10/02 17:26
topic

don't you hate it
when dwarves wear suits
and carry umbrellas
and shit
and pretend that they
are like us?
you should have been a pair of ragged claws
scuttling across floors
of silent pint pots.

30/10/02 17:23
andrew

i wouldn't furnish you with out of date foreign models, pinsy.

i'll get you a good pair of solid, british made dwarves, with romanian styling.

30/10/02 17:23
topic

'Dreaming of Being A Midget'

it is little known
that a midget is superior
to a dwarf
genetically, if not metrically

cos dwarves are not only
tiny
they're malproportioned too
with arms and legs
too small for even their
tiny bodies.

midgets, at least, have the right size
limbs
for their height.
small comfort, indeed,
but better than being a
dwarf
i'd say. wouldnt you?

30/10/02 17:19
pins

ah, christopher. the icing on the thread

30/10/02 17:18
topic

porno dwarves
actor dwarves
comedian dwarves
you can't get away from
the little blighters
these days -
unless you lengthen your stride
somewhat

30/10/02 17:18
HLaS

sorry, that one was crap

30/10/02 17:18
HLaS

Momma, just met a little man
his head was level with my crotch
his phenotype's a botch

30/10/02 17:14
pins

yes please, can you get his and hers for the both of us, please?

(and dial is not acceptable, you cheapskate)

30/10/02 17:11
andrew

do you want me to buy you one for xmas?

30/10/02 16:59
pins

we just like dwarves. We often talk about them for hours

30/10/02 16:58
andrew

thank expletive for that.

i thought it was a bit insensitive if he was a bit on the wee side.

(funny tho)

30/10/02 16:58
HLaS

*bows*

30/10/02 16:56
pins

he's not a dwarf, andrew

30/10/02 16:55
pins

I've printed out the entire thread and will later be cutting out poems and sticking them in the birthday card.

Fine work all.

30/10/02 16:55
andrew

when your mate reads these he's going to hang himself.

from his doorstep.

30/10/02 16:53
Azul Buho

You make a pea look like a mango

I think that's the funniest thing I've ever read. Well done, bro.

30/10/02 16:36
pins

hehehe

30/10/02 16:33
HLaS

I see a little
siloetto'd man
kid's shoes
kids shoes
You make a pea look like a mango

Big head and short limbs
very very frightening

30/10/02 16:03
stevie

f*ck them other midgets,
cos i'm down wit my midgets,
i ride with my midgets,
i'd die for my midgets

that's RIGHT!

30/10/02 15:49
whojamaflip

they breed them small in yorkshire
all tiny and wee
not much over four foot three

why are they small in yorkshire
why is their growth stunted
and capped

cos you cant get down a rabbit hole
when you are over
four foot three

30/10/02 15:44
Azul Buho

I don't think it's fair to write poems about elfs.
Especially when Jody Morris isn't here to defend himself.

30/10/02 15:40
boxobollox

"Having reviewed the evidence, the committee is satisfied that the ban on dwarf tossing is not abusive." A spokesman for the UN Human Rights Committee told reporters in Geneva.
"In their view, the ban does not amount to prohibited discrimination and is necessary to protect public order. Furthermore, there are issuesof human dignity to consider."
But Manuel Wackenhiem, a three-feet-seven-inch stuntman who was trying to overturn a 1995 ruling by France's highest administrative court, was outraged. "This sport was introduced into Europe form the United States and Australia in the 1980's, and for years I used to earn good money by allowing big men to throw me as far as possible, usually in a bar or a discotheque. They would compete to see who could throw me the furthest, and I had the satisfaction of earning my own living. And I suffered no harm, because I always wore a crash helmet and padded clothing with handles on the back. But since the ban was introduced, many short people have found themselves unemployed, because society offers few good jobs to people as small as me. Many of them have gone from being financially independent to relying on welfare.
Where is the dignity in that?"

30/10/02 15:31
Azul Buho

Do dwarves have normal cocks and holes?
Is that why you never see nude ones around?
Cos their bells would chafe on the ground?
And the girls would be accosted by moles?

30/10/02 15:28
soup

*gnome* even.

30/10/02 15:27
soup

I was just about to put that up almost word-for-word!!

*knome*

30/10/02 15:27
jim

you think you saw a dwarve you say?
no, thats a normal person
standing very far away

30/10/02 15:25
Smudger

no, I is massive...........on a subetteo pitch

30/10/02 15:25
soup

Hello again
I saw you at the other end of the road last night
you looked beautiful
I smiled at you and walked away

Please tell me that you were at the other end of the road
and not a dwarf just a few feet ahead?

30/10/02 15:24
jim

why? are you wee?

30/10/02 15:23
Smudger

122 posts and not a mention of me

30/10/02 15:22
jim

I'd rather go blind
than have a Dwarve as a friend.

30/10/02 15:21
soup

You can get2 people in a midget
but try that with a dwarf and they tend to split.

30/10/02 15:21
soup

You can 2 people in a midget
but try that with a dwarf and they tend to split.

30/10/02 15:20
Getty

My Dwarf is ful, can I have another.
My Midget is clean, it's ready for a bugger.

30/10/02 15:19
soup

THE = A

30/10/02 15:19
Milburn

nice dwarf.

30/10/02 15:19
Getty

Stretch Arm Dwarf

30/10/02 15:19
soup

FEEL THE DWARF!
FEEL THE LOVE!

30/10/02 15:18
pins

LOVE THE DWARF

30/10/02 15:18
Getty

Backwards a dwarf is a fraud.
Midgets are backwards.
Come forward you stunted freak.
I'll put you on the stage tonight.

30/10/02 15:16
andrew

beat eczema

with a stick

30/10/02 15:15
soup

do not drip dry
tumble dry for laughs only.

30/10/02 15:14
andrew

hehe

read the label
never boilwash your children

30/10/02 15:11
soup

Dwarves are people too
they just got left out in the rain too long.

30/10/02 15:08
soup

7 dwarves get on a bus. after a while they start feeling sleepy. So he gets off.

30/10/02 15:06
tree

heheh. best line of the thread!

"except when going swimming
which they don't
cos big people think they are babies and are in trouble"

30/10/02 15:05
soup

Top 10 Funniest Things Midgets and Dwarves Do (Source: Harvard University Humor Committee, 2001)
1. Wear children's clothing
2. Fight each other
3. Dance
4. Impersonate tall celebrities
5. Play basketball
6. Try to jump to get things held up high by tall people
7. Fight tall people
8. Dress like tall people
9. Stand
10. Climb onto chairs for tall people

30/10/02 15:02
soup

whoj - hahahahaha

30/10/02 15:02
andrew

Love me
Love my stumpy fingers

30/10/02 15:02
whojamaflip

It must be nice to be small
to walk around under the noses
of those who are taller than you

to skip around their heels
to dart between their legs
it must be grand to be a dwarf

30/10/02 15:02
soup

Dawves:

Short on stature
long on memory
like pygmy elephants
without trunks
except when going swimming
which they don't
cos big people think they are babies and are in trouble
which they are not
they are just short
but have long memories
like pygmy elephants...

30/10/02 15:01
CJ

Go to work on a dwarf
its quicker than the bus

30/10/02 15:00
whojamaflip

Look up
Look up
Look around
Stare at a womens arse
say you are a dwarf

30/10/02 15:00
soup

Put a dwarf in your pocket
and you're off like a rocket!

30/10/02 15:00
tree

pat a dwarf? how short is dial exactly?

30/10/02 14:59
andrew

ok pins

They say the best things come
In small packages
But they lied because short people are a burden on society.

sorry, no can do.

30/10/02 14:59
soup

30/10/02 14:59
tree

PINSSS!!!

a big thankyou to all the little chaps

hello mini kirks!
i just wanna say thanks!
for all the good times
for the fun you've bought!

well, i just think you're swell
return of the jedi would have been CRAP without you!
and time bandits
you've bought joy to the world with your scamplike ways and youre being short stuff.

i salute you, the mature undersized
and don't get upset little man
because the big giants laugh
stick your fingers up! you are much cuter than normal human beings.

30/10/02 14:59
Satch

Make difference - pat a dwarf today!

30/10/02 14:58
Satch

Dwarves - because everyone was small once.

30/10/02 14:57
andrew

Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner
Filling in his dole forms

He failed to submit
His earnings as a Time Bandit
And was grassed up by his neighbour the DSS squirrel

30/10/02 14:56
soup

Dwarfs

1/2 size
1/2 weight
1/2 fare
ALL THE WAY!!!

30/10/02 14:55
soup

a small - self-adhesive square of paper used in payment for the delivery of a letter or postcard. Maybe even a small parcel - the kind you'd mail a dead dwarf in.

30/10/02 14:55
pins

can we have some more nice ones now, please?

30/10/02 14:55
tree

see? look at that little chappy. normal guy. he likes chips just like me and you

30/10/02 14:54
tree

can we get a definition of the word stamp here please?

30/10/02 14:54
soup

30/10/02 14:54
tree

haha

30/10/02 14:54
soup

Stamp! Stamp! Stamp!
the little baaaaaaastards!
See how much the midgets cry!

30/10/02 14:53
tree

cj - haha

30/10/02 14:53
tree

yeah az. that's a sweetie too. but as noones laughed at any of mineyou can expletive off

30/10/02 14:53
CJ

Small people are a waste to society.
They take up the same ground space but they dont make full use of the air above them.
I bet they use the same amount of oxygen too.

30/10/02 14:52
andrew

Little donkey
Little donkey
Little jockey
Little jockey
Kill Kill
Kill each other, expletiveing front-bottom heads

30/10/02 14:52
Azul Buho

Oy! Tree! See my 14:31 you heartless front-bottom.

30/10/02 14:52
soup

Grab a dwarf round the neck
swing him really high
throw the f*cker on the fire
make the bastard cry

If you see him crawl away
break his little knees
cut his tiny penis off
and fill it full of bees

30/10/02 14:51
tree

these are a bit nasty. here's a nice one.

AWWWW midgets! they're dead cute!

ahhh look at 'im! bless his likkle heart! awww!
pat him on his head. make him a small cup of tea! aww..lets let him stop the night in our cot.

SO CUTE!

30/10/02 14:50
Azul Buho

If I were smaller
I'd be a dwarf
But if dwarves were taller
They'd stop being dwarves.
I think that's the difference between us, in a nutshell.

30/10/02 14:49
soup

How do you make a tiny midget?

Cut a large dwarf in two

30/10/02 14:49
Getty

Push a midget too far
and his chin will snap.
Push a dwarf too far
and he'll call for his pap.

30/10/02 14:48
andrew

How do you make a hormone?

You don't expletiveing know.

30/10/02 14:48
soup

Baa Baa midget
have you any dwarves?
tiny! tiny!
but are they just an evolutionary throwback to when we were tiny monkeys?

30/10/02 14:48
tree

hehe, i HATE darves!

30/10/02 14:48
tree

Darve Vader

30/10/02 14:48
Getty

Midgets think they're clever
Darves think they're superior
I think I could have 'em both
in me MkII ford Cortina.

30/10/02 14:47
tree

hotpack. hehe. true that is. seriously.

30/10/02 14:47
snapper

hahahahaha soup!

30/10/02 14:47
tree

ring a ring a midget bastards
a pocket full of little shitty basto-dwrves (who cant' cook!)
a tissue a tissue
stab the 'mini-kirks'

30/10/02 14:46
soup

HAHAHAHA Getty!

30/10/02 14:46
soup

a hotpack of midgets was clocked at over 183mph on the M4 yesterday

A police spokesman said "Look at those little f*ckers move!"

30/10/02 14:46
Getty

Skin a dwarf
let it's skin dry out
Boil the little fecker
boil it to shite

Take the skin
take a pin
pin it to his wife.

30/10/02 14:45
soup

How do fit 500 dwarves into a mini?

Mince the f*ckers up first.

30/10/02 14:45
tree

the collective term for midgets is a:

'hotpack'

30/10/02 14:44
soup

Midget Gem?
I don't F*ckin think so

30/10/02 14:44
Azul Buho

I'd like to take a lady midget
And see if I could fit my widget
In her box, or if my digit
Would be enough to make her fidget.

30/10/02 14:44
soup

I hear in the movies
it's not done to use real animals
so as a concession to PETA
they just cellotape midgets together.

30/10/02 14:43
tree

i like gettys

30/10/02 14:43
tree

14:42 - HAHAHAHAAAAAA1

i will do bio! hehe

30/10/02 14:43
Getty

Dwarf in my left pocket,
dwarf in my right.
Dwarf in my allotment,
GET OUT OF MY FECKIN SIGHT!

30/10/02 14:43
tree

roses are red
violence is golden
i saw a dwarf
looked just like william holden

the term dwarf is offensive, i was told
once
by a dwarf.
he says 'call us mini-kirks!'

30/10/02 14:42
soup

Why is that you never see a dwarf riding a dwarf pony?
Cos they are f*ckin evil little cnuts.

30/10/02 14:42
andrew

You're once,
Twice,
Threeee times shorter than an average person.

30/10/02 14:42
soup

hehehehe have you still got it to hand? Mail ot to me!

30/10/02 14:41
soup

Dwarves
scarves
both of them can cause strangulation when caught in an escalator

30/10/02 14:41
tree

soup - i re read the kraken and i.

gotta say. its the funniest thing i've ever seen. hehe

30/10/02 14:40
soup

Red Dwarf
shit

30/10/02 14:40
tree

hehe ormy

30/10/02 14:40
tree

dwarves were
bad people
in previous lives
says hoddle

Tom Paulin - 1997

30/10/02 14:40
Azul Buho

What is a dwarf, really?
It's just a small version of Les Sealey.

30/10/02 14:39
pins

hahaha snaps

30/10/02 14:39
ormondroyd

Mary had a little dwarf
Obviously.

30/10/02 14:39
pins

haha, ilove these. Just need a chris effort now please.

30/10/02 14:38
snapper

mary mary
quite contrary
how does your midget grow
it expletiveing doesn't

30/10/02 14:38
tree

dwarves give you cancer
cancer of the head
dwarves give you cancer
lets make them all dead

30/10/02 14:38
CJ

Thalidolmide
in Formeldahyde
Now thats art!

30/10/02 14:38
Milburn

soup!
haikud you?

30/10/02 14:37
soup

Dwarves
bigger than cats
but smaller than ponies
about the size of a dog on its hind legs
it's not natural

30/10/02 14:37
Azul Buho

Dwarves are small
Dwarves are wee
At one sitting I could probably eat three

30/10/02 14:37
tree

DWARVES DWARVES!!!
KEEP EM OFF THE TELLY!
DWARVES DWARVES!!!
PUT ME OFF MY FOOD!
CHANNEL 4 CHANNEL 4!!!
KEEP THEM LOCKED AWAY!
DWARVES DWARVES!!!
SHOULDNT BE ALLOWED!

30/10/02 14:35
andrew

30/10/02 14:35
tree

haha snapper!!! hehehe

30/10/02 14:34
tree

NASA and the dwarves

we're heading for venus
in a huge rocket
manned by dwarves
we got the specifications wrong in constructing it
so only little humans will fit

W.H. Auden

30/10/02 14:34
pins

fanastic work.

I shall be printing these out and sticking them in the card

30/10/02 14:33
andrew

30/10/02 14:33
snapper

Jack and Jill
went up the hill
I'm gonna expletive that midget in the ass!

30/10/02 14:32
Smudger

expletiveing hell guys, I'm in stitches here

30/10/02 14:32
Milburn

have I won yet?

30/10/02 14:32
whojamaflip

Snow White had seven
one for each day
Bashful did the washing
Grumpy made the stew
Doc looked after the money
and Sneezy cleaned the loo
Dopey didn't do too much
Just sat in the corner and grinned
Sleepy fell asleep and snored
- but kept the cats away
Happy? yup,you bet he was
He shagged her every day

30/10/02 14:32
tree

sex is natural
sex is fun
everyones doing it
except dwarfs. who are trying and failing hilariously. the little c.unts. total c.unts they are. except kenny baker. he's pretty cool i guess. bet he could pull any hoochie. large cock apparently. mate o' mine knows him. and anthony daniels who played C3P0

30/10/02 14:31
Azul Buho

Dwarves are people too
They're not just there for you to say 'Ooh
He's a funny little feller'. You
Cruel bastard, you.

30/10/02 14:31
tree

so it's hi-ho little dawrfies!
and away we go!
hi-ho little dwarfie shits!
go on! expletive off! i hate the disableD!

30/10/02 14:30
soup

Dwarves are tiny
Dwarves are thin
you can fit a dozen in an old bean tin

30/10/02 14:30
tree

haha soup

30/10/02 14:30
The Dick Doctor

If I ever see another dwarf,
it won't be a day too soon.
If I ever see another dwarf
it won't be a day too soon.
If I ever see another dwarf
it won't be a day too soon.
I've just seen a dwarf,
but it's only my first,
so the next one had better watch his feckin step.

30/10/02 14:29
soup

I saw a dwarf!
Where?
There on the stair!
Where on the stair?
Look, I know he's expletiveing tiny, but do you really need me to go ver there and point to him and make him feel even expletiveing smaller than he is?

30/10/02 14:29
tree

mine are the funniest

30/10/02 14:28
andrew

You're so fuzzy wuzzy
acting like you're so funny
I feel an urge to puke
Not wanting to rebuke
You for being so naive
You for failing to perceive
that you're just a fool
and what you say is bull
In everyone's eyes
Can't you see your own size?
You're just a midget
and I haven't buried the hatchet
Dun blame me if I'm hostile
Dun claim that I'm vile
Cos you made me this way
and I want to make you pay

30/10/02 14:28
tree

there once was a midget from kent
who decided to fast over lent
one day, then two passed
and the dwarf didn't eat expletive all
the little front-bottom. still, he's a shoe in for a part in the upcoming 'time bandits - the stage musical'

30/10/02 14:27
soup

I like coffee
I like Tea
I like to kick a midget
in the kidney

30/10/02 14:26
tree

good one azul

30/10/02 14:26
Azul Buho

Dwarves are cool
Dwarves are fun
I could fit a dozen up my bum

30/10/02 14:26
tree

roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
dwarves are bastards

30/10/02 14:25
jim

If you see a dwarf
and he looks sad and whiney
pat him on the head and say
expletive me, you're tiny.

30/10/02 14:25
The Dick Doctor

There once was a dwarf called Janice
Whose legs were trapped in a trellis
Struggle as he might
He was stuck good and tight
And forgot to video The Office

30/10/02 14:25
tree

there once was a lady from pinner
who decided that she should be thinner
she heard of a diet
thought 'by golly i'll try it!'
and then got a little dwarf's head stuck up her front-bottom. what a expletiveer!

30/10/02 14:22
pins

hehehe

keep going chaps.

30/10/02 14:22
ormondroyd

A tiny old scamp dressed in blue
Once got in a terrible stew
He beat up his mate
Twas a terrible state
And then he and Max Clifford lodged a Winding-Up order against his former employers

30/10/02 14:22
whojamaflip

There's the long and the short of it
The small and the large
But at 4 foot 6, you can sneak into bars

At waist high you have the perfect view
Of the thing most men
Would like to "do"

2 for a penny, 3 for a pound
half price on the railway
and pissed on a short

30/10/02 14:20
jim

Dwarfs dwarfs
good for your heart
the more you eat
the more you fart.

30/10/02 14:20
andrew

we have a winner!

30/10/02 14:19
Milburn

there was a wee stunty called ned
who was a hit with the women in bed
he had nuts you could suck, and boy could he expletive
and his cock went right up to hiss head.

30/10/02 14:19
Azul Buho

Feck me! Do you want to make it a purple and orange dwarf just to make the rhyming scheme a bit less challenging?

30/10/02 14:17
pins

poem about dwarves for a birthday card, please.

Very grateful

Ta muchly




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