hehehehehe - beat me to it

SHARON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's fair to say, Yoss, that the only one who's pulled is the Deputy Head.

where's balti? surely this is the perfect opportunity to get sharon to dance?

(pulls bicycle chain from pants and begins to whip the DJ mercilessly)

(*throws punch*)

Can`t be bothered reading this thread. Anyone had a decent punch-up yet?

Shan starts to weep.

This disco's going on too long,I'm off me head.I'm goin' outside,me dads pickin' me up.

asks Shan where did the babe in the sequined dress go

Shan realises that once more he's failed to pull Donna and tells the law to throw the book at him.

johnny gives xena a niacin tablet which will bring her down in 12 minutes

bye donna

bobbins wonders if sammy is going to turn up for a post disco drink or if she has got lost

TIME TO GO HOME FOR ME BOYS

BYE BYE

But the new age DJ puts on some Orb and everybody chills out cos of johnny's acid antics.

Shannahan tries to explain to police why a thirty one year old is at a school disco...

bobbins realises that everyone else has left the disco

bobbins, comming in after losing all his stolen money in a fruit machine in a local pub points out that he never dances and that is his evil twin brother bernard

Shan, realising he's never going to pull in a dress, changes into his spare outfit (well, of course... what to you think I am... cheap?). Properly attired in a black tie, crisp white shirt and Dinner Jacket he re-introduces himself as "Shan, Shannahan".

xwp takes one and starts slavering on about parlsey and promotion

Over here johnny,over here.

when the DJ starts to play Orgone Accumulator johnny frees himself from the wall and rips off his suit coat and black silk shirt to reveal a tie-dyed t-shirt underneath
he then begins passing out tablets of acid

And the Deputy Head is still at it with the head girl in the art room upstairs.

A dancehall fight breaks out due to johnny wanting more Hawkwind.

desperately trying to look cool whilst detaching bits of wall from his left arm, johnny trips and falls into pile of vomit thrown up by biopotti.

Shan, having just recovered his breath, must immediately leave again...

johnny realizes his situation, curses under his breath, then curses again when he remembers his white suit is due back at the rental shop by 7am

then, tries to casually remove wall from left arm

johnny, spying a hot young chick, tries to remove left arm from wall he has casually draped himself against...

Here comes the caretaker with a wheelbarrow (with squeaky wheel) full of sawdust to cover up pile of vom.

Who me xwp?

Deputy Head steals BioPOTS tabs and shags the head girl.Lucky bastard.

johnny begins to feel very sticky

expletive off, 'nad breath

Usually any old gut rot that got you pissed quick.

Not now luvva, later perhaps. OH! Bristol Cream! sorry, I read Bristols, creamed.

Brsitol Cream?

BioPOT smuggles in bottle of sherry, necks it, throws up under table by stage and is promptly ejected. Parents collect him from bushes 10 mins later after being summonsed by Deputy Head.

I've seen porn flix based on tg's last posting

Shan has to go out for a breath of fresh air from laughing too much at tanky's last posting and its possible consequences!

tg and Donna play even crueller trick on johnny by rubbing superglue on to him but telling him it's muscle relaxant!

Donna tries to dane to Life is a Minestrone, but it is beyong her talent

Shan and tg play cruel prank on Donna by asking DJ to play 10cc...

johnny, trying to look casual, ambles over to a wall and rests his left arm

donna smells fags on tg's breath and has to go for a lie down

It is a very fetching number, tg and is at least paired with some very masculine underwear and a mean streak.

Shan suggests to the school nurse that she might want to rub some muscle relaxant into Johnny, but only gets a slap for his troubles.

TG ponders Shan's offer - this could be the nearest she gets in a while. So what if he's wearing a sequinned dress!

johnny's muscles sieze up on the dance floor and he is frozen with his right hand on his hip and his left arm pointing skyward

Docker,last drag on yer tab.

Shan follows tg outside, trying not to muddy his sequined Doc Martens, and offers his services.

erm, "docker"? What?

Give us yer docker.TG

TG sneaks outside to have a ciggie, seeing as she's having no luck with the blokes.

Shannahan turns up way too late and realises it's just not the done thing to be a trannie.

no, I heard the girl handled it tg style, knee to groin and then made a scene

pass completion?

STOP PROJECTING YOUR SORDID FANTASIES ONTO ME!!!!

my sixth grade teacher got drunk at the senior prom and made a pass at one of the students. he was made to resign

you make me fell, mighty real starts to play and all sins are forgiven

AK, you shouldn't tell the teacher off for being drunk. It is the only way they can get through the day.

AK having argument with teacher for being drunk, tells teacher where to go.

mixing your metaphors AK.

Too much white lightning in the toilets tsk

clovis attempts to break dance; donna wets herself

Just as it gets interesting ans starts to warm up, Clovis's Mum arrives to take him home.

"Aw, can't I stay a bit longer? Pleeeaase"

"No. 5 o'clock is quite late enough for a lad of your age. Come home now."

sidles out of door, knowing that when I come in tomorrow eveyone else will be talking about what a great time they had without me.

Bye everyone.

johnny bribes dj to play nothing but bee gees for the rest of the dance

yep bm

AK laughs - fookin John Travolta look a like. *remembers to chin the yank at the end of the night*

more cocks than a pin cushion, shouldn't that be pricks?

oooohh, all look at Johnny's medalion and flares

all the lasses realise he's a Yank and flock to be around him. AK et al are very very miffed

johnny enters and casually polishes the gold medalian hanging around his neck

that's slag's

AK notices clovis and laughs, slags had more cocks than a pin cushion.

AK and gang start threatning fnord on the pop and crisp counter.

Whilst AK is busy laughing, Clovis takes advantage and starts dancing with AK's girl.

hehehe

bobbins starts dancing and everyone larfs

AK sees clovis go red and bursts out laughing,

AK's gang starts hassling snapper's lot for dealing on Our turf.

I can see some bird I fanxy, but am too shy to go talk to her. AK sidles up to me and tells me she fancies me.

oooerr

Blushing madly I walk over to her.
She bursts into laughter and I crawl back to a dark corner.

dj puts on Lost in France backwrads and all hell breaks loose

AK and gang are hassling some smart lasses

black-b returns to bogs sure that another stash had been hidden somewhere

snapper stands in doorway looking hard and trying to sell cigs to the dutch contigent, telling them they're ganja.

Clovis hunts for bucket and starts vomitting

donna starts lickign an ashtray

TG dashes around behind her trying to find someone to shag.

donna dashes around frantically trying to find a smoker to snog

exactly, XWP!

AK and his gang turns up at school disco pissed on White Lightning.

whilst everyone else shagged

I'm sure it would've been me. I was always the one left over after school socials. Sob.

http://archivegoddess.simplenet.com/jessiequest/

AK 69 "this thread should have turned into a role play like Petanqe"

That's how I hoped it would go, but no one picked up on it. Some times it just aint meant to be.

Shame, it had the makings of a classic. I wonder who would have been left logged on at the end of the night when they did the slow song?

hahaha

somewgerere after midnight
in my wildest fantasy
somewhere just beyond my reach
there's someone reaching back for me

Get Forbidden Mesage

Andy - from here if you're interested.

Noooooo! XWP say it ain't so!

I love the start; all whooping and wailing; fab

Bless; that was funny

AK - hehe you haven't seen it played in heavy version on freezer, gas-cooker and pans.

where have all the good men gone
and where are ll the gods
where's the street wise hercules
to fight the rising odds?

*XWP PLUMMETS IN KINKYS ESTIMATION*

remember when the berk from the show shot himself playing russian roulette with a pistol filled with blanks?

aaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh

Holding out for a Hero was Bonny's best

this thread should have turned into a role play like Petanqe

Where from?

cut'n paste stuff - elementary

tragedy!!!!!!

hate it snapper - Bonnie Effin Tyler or someone init, miss kinky has it and sometimes plays it

johnny - WHO is jessie?

You WROTE that out Snapper? Effort over value algorithim does not compute.

Actually this song deserves a thread of it's own.

Our constant was "Bright eyes" which is an effin brill tune. Here's the lyrics and storyline of the video:

Turn around
[Jessie, her hand on Jonnys shoulder.]
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely
[Jessie, all alone in her room, wishing that he were near her.]
And you're never coming round
Turn around
[Jonny whips his head around for an upclose shot]
Every now and then I get a little bit tired
[Jessie stretched out on her bed]
Of listning to the sound of my tears
[Tears coursing down her cheeks as she talks tohim on the phone]
Turn around
[Jessie pulling Jonny back to her]
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous
[Jessie fiddles with her outfit self consciesly (gawd how I butchered that
word!)]
That the best of all the years have gone by
[Looks at her reflection sadly in the mirror.]
Turn around
[Jonny whirls around, an annoyed expression on his face]
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
[Jessie cowers away as he yells and throws things around.]
And then I see the look in your eyes
[A close up of Jonnys eyes, warm and friendly.]
Turn around, bright eyes
[Jessie fondly brushes his blonde locks away from his beautiful blue
eyes.]
Every now and the I fall apart
[Jessie sobs uncontrollably in his arms.]
Turn around, bright eyes
[Jessie kisses Jonny beneath a street lamp]
Every now and the I fall apart
[Jessie holds Jonny and comforts him]
Turn around
[Jessie grabs onto Jonnys shoulder and pulls him back to her.]
Every now and then I get a little bit restless
[Jessie daring Jonny to chase her, then running out the front door.]
And I dream of something wild
[Jessie in a large bed, dreaming of things to come]
Turn around
[Jessie kisses Jonny again.]
Every now and then I get a little bit helpless
And I'm lying like a child in your arms
[Jessie lays wrapped in Jonny's arms.]
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit angry
[Jessie shouta at Jonny for some silly obscene reason]
And I know I've got to get out and cry
[Jess storms out of the house and heads for her car.]
Turn around
[Jonny calls back to her from the doorway]
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
[Jessie backs uneasily away from Jonny.]
But then I see the look in your eyes
[Close up shot of Jonny and his eyes are kind and understanding.]
Turn around, bright eyes
[Jessie looks into Jonnys eyes, sharp and a peircing blue.]
Every now and the I fall apart
[Jessie sobs on the sofs next to her husband]
Turn around, bright eyes
[Jessie and Jonny kiss and make up after one of their arguments.]
Every now and the I fall apart
And I need you now tonight and I need you more than ever
[Jonny takes her hand in his and tells her how he feels.]
And if you only hold me tight we'll be holding on forever
[She embraces him in a hug]
And we'll only be making it right 'cause we'll never be wrong
[He puts a finger to her lips to quiet her.]
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
[Jessie and Jonny, out under the stars.]
I really need you tonight, forever's gonna start tonight,
Forever's gonna start tonight
[He seals the promise with a kiss.]
Once upon a time I was falling in love but now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart
[Jessie holds her hands over her chest, she can feel her heart breaking.]
Once upon a time there was light in my life but now there's only love in the
dark
[The lights are clicked off, leaving her alone in an empty void of black]
Nothing I can say, a total eclipse of the heart
Turn around, bright eyes
[Jessie looks at Jonny intently]
Turn around, bright eyes
[Jonny whirl around, annoyance written on his face]
Turn around
Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy
[Jessie turns away in tears]
You always wanted to be
[As Jonny tries to explain to her why it has to be this way.]
Turn around
But every now and then I know you'll always be
[The two are locked in a passionate imbrace.]
The only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Jessie laughs, her green eyes sparkling]
Turn around
Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe
[A shot of the stary sky, then of the two lovers.]
As magical and wondrous as you
Turn around
Every now and then I know there's nothing any better,
[Jonny plants a kiss on her forhead]
There's nothing that I just wouldn't do
Turn around, bright eyes
[Jessie pulls her beloved close to her.]
Every now and the I fall apart
[Tears stream down Jess's face]
Turn around, bright eyes
[He nudges her chin up, so that he can look at her.]
Every now and the I fall apart
And I need you now tonight...
[Jessie seals her promise with a kiss]
Once upon a time I was...
A total eclipse of the heart, a total eclipse of the heart
[He pulls her hands away from her heart]
Turn around, bright eyes,
[Jessie looks into his eyes, and knows that it will last forever.]
Turn around, bright eyes, turn around
[Repeat shots of the two of them at their wedding.]
~*~

bless

I think what I really like about it is his optimism. He knew he would pull.

I'm afraid he did. Neithewr of them had beards

Did he have a mate called Dave XWP?

sadly, yes.

clovis; that is funny!

hehehe

i remeber dancing with a boy called Chas!

for some reason b-b's comment reminds me of a radio programme on contraception. One Family pplanner officer gave an example of a boy who said he'd tried condoms, but didn't like them. They kept falling off. She asked him when he put it on, and he said, "when I'm getting ready to go out, just after I've had a bath"

I remember seeing who could drink the most from litre bottles of mixed shorts held vertically above your tipped back head and then finding out at school the next morning who your new girlfriend was.

Ugh! slow dancing to Lady in Red with 15 year old boys with stiffies! UGH! (horrible traumatic memories..!)

As a school prefect we used to get invited to the local all girls High School formal. Boys walking round with stiffies for weeks beforehand.

sounds terrible, tg

I seem to have some terrible memories of that bloody Communards song. God school discos were absolutely terrible. I was at an all girls school. They used to bus us over to the nearest boys' school. god. it was awful.

boys from Tuam?

Why can't I get just one fuck?
Why can't I get just one fuck?
Must be somethin' to do with luck,
But somethin' won't let me make
love to you

I am trying to be understated today

Wankers? Total understatement.

our Ents crew used to wear T shirts which said; Shag me - I'm in Ents.'

Ents officers are wankers

We had an outdoor disco at the end of our Third Year (UEA, Norwich) in 1990 - the expletivewit entertainments officer wanted to ban New Order's World Cup song because it was too nationalistic for a crowd to shout 'Ing-er-land' along with the song!

and the one about the fish. which was very funny. Turnip Fish

My best ever night in Queens was when the Republic qualified for USA '94 after the Draw at Windsor. We watched the match in the Staff Bar (along with San Marino vs England - how we laughed). There was a visiting Spanish guy there and they qualified by holding a 1-0 lead against Denmark for an hour with 10 men (A draw there would have put Ireland out). We had this lad up Flamenco dancing on a table while 25 of us all screamed "Viva Espana". There were quite a few not too happy looking punters around the bar. Huge session in Mandela Hall, leading on to a 4-day session. Madness!

My brother knows, Karl Marx,
He met him eating mushrooms in the peoples park,
He said 'What do you think about my manifesto?'
'I like a manifesto, put it to the test-o.'

Took it straight down to meet the anarchist's party.
I met a groovy guy, he was arty farty,
He said 'I know a little latin man a cus man a kai'
I said 'I don't know what it means' he said 'neither do I'

Eat natural foods, bathe twice daily,
Fill your nostrils up with gravy.
Don't drink tea and don't drink coffee.
Cover your chin in yorkshire toffee.

Dancing in the disco, bumper to bumber,
Wait a minute, where's me jumper, ( x4 )

Dancing at the disco, bumper to bumber,
Wait a minute, where's me jumper ? ( x5 )
Oh no.
Dancing at the disco, go, go, go.
Dancing at the disco, oh no, oh no, oh no.
Dancing at the disco, go, go, go.
Dancing at the disco, oh no, oh no.
It's alright to say things can only get better,
You haven't lost your brand new sweater.
I know I had it on when I had my tea,
And I'm sure I had it on in the lavatory.
Oh no.
Dancing in the disco, go, go, go.
Dancing in the disco, oh no, oh no.
Dancing in the disco, bumper to bumper,
Wait a minute, where's me jumper ? ( x5 )
It's alright to say things can only get better,
You haven't lost your brand new sweater.
Pure new wool, and perfect stitches,
Not the type of jumper that makes you itches
Oh no.
Dancing in the disco, go, go, go.
Dancing in the disco, oh no, oh no.
And my mother, will be so, so angry.
And my brother, will be so, so angry.
And my girlfriend, will be so, so angry.
And my dog, will be so, so angry.
Cos I was dancing at the disco, bumper to bumper.
Wait a minute, where's me jumper ( x5 )
Oh no !

Where's My Jumper went down well

Not to mention the Dead Kennedys

memories, eh?

eeee them were the days davey lad!

Classic stuff bb. When I was in Queens, Rage against the Machine's "Bullet in the Head" was one of the standards. Shite band, but a good laugh with X pints of cheap lager in you.

I playred Purple Rain as a slow dance. you ever tried smooching whlist wearing headphones?

Snakebite and Black - the devil's own

Oh Davey - going all weak at the knees now thinking of Queens Uni and Nelson Mandela Hall dicksos.

All washed down with copious quantities of Snakebite and black.

Absolutely. Along with "Suspect Device" and "Alternative Ulster"

Violent Femmes "Blister in the Sun"
B-52s "Rock Lobster"
REM "Orange Crush"
etc,etc.

I went to an all boys school, so we didn'ta have school discos.

The main memories of discos at the Union bar as a student consist of loads of punk, Bronski Beat and - especially - Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

Seek it out XWP and you will understand. It was a Rite of Passage for every Uni kid north and south of the frontier.

that sound snasty bb.

Stephen; can't recall

Onto Uni and Horslips' Dearg Doom ripped the roof off every time.

AC/DC's "Whole laotta Rosie" was a staple at ours.

What's the worst chat-up line you've ever used or (XWP) had used to you?

The worst I ever used was to a girl I'd chucked a few weeks earlier but fancied again: 'Keep the fires burning'. The shame of it, the absolute shame.

John Lennon - Merry Christmas War is Over. School Christmas disco, smashed out of my skull after unloading my stash from the 3rd cubicle in downstairs boys toilets.Halcyon days indeed.

I think it had different coloured graphic shapes - poss. incl. a pink triangle.

or it had a red start on the sleeve or summat

Red?

I seem to remember having that Bronski Beat album on tape...

STB - I agree

Communards were bollox!

Small Town Boy; what a fantastic track

Dance The Night Away and Roll With It filled the floor at my sister's wedding last year.

YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAARRRRRRREEEEEEEE my worrrrrrrrrrrrrllllllllllllld!

that comunrds stuff is great

David Cassidy anyone?

AG, that sounds more like my Primary school days - halcyon times.

So have I Shannahan - Manchester Apollo, 1987

Ours were all Abba and stuff from Grease. I was one of those demanding some punk. the staple slowie was David Soul: Don't Give Up On Us Baby

Seen 'em live...

don't leav eme this way hey hey hey

I have every single word to that sodding song branded into my neurons. aaaarrrggghhh

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh; baby, my heart is full of love a desire etc............

shannahan - I know I know - makes you shudder doesn't it. I was in a nightclub on saturday, that seemed to be playing school/uni disco music all night - when the Communards came on I almost ran out of there screaming

Hurry up, or I'llbe after the ladies meself. Now, where did put my parka?

Oh god, Simple Minds, U2, Duran Duran... do we really have to go there bobbs?

please don't make me

not for the slow dance surely.

my school discos were about 5 years before yours boons - our constants were Alive and Kicking and The Reflex

Only school disco I remember (not counting Sixth Form Parties) we were all dancing to Madness and other ska/mod revival stuff. Friends of mine had the two-tone suits and pork pie hats... strangely enough it was a truly excellent experience... mind you, I was about eleven.

You must have been underpriveleged. We got '[insert current hip phrase] Roadshow' every year.

['I'm blue, la da de da de da, la da de da de da...']

bobbs - c'mon. they were the one constant.

having said that, we were banned from having school discos after our first year one got a bit out of hand.

Oh sod, Mr Wilt the headmaster has just started dancing with that new French teacher.
What a prat.

our school discos were DJ'd by our deputy year head, Mr Axe (cool name).

he did part time disc spinning, under the guise of theee Jim Axe Roadshow.

dullest teacher i ever had.

boons - LIR? INIL? - unspeakable!!!

Have you seen my light show? Look! Lots of multi-coloured lights on the screens at the front of the booth! Now, here's an exciting new song for you...

[FX : 'Right about now, the funk soul brother...']

I'm standing in the corner picking my nose - probably head off down the video arcade in a few minutes with £10 I knicked from my dads wallet and play Xevious for 5 hours - I hate dancing anyway

i'm going to play the waiting game.

wait until you lot are all throwing your cider up, then move in cos i'm the only one standing.

i would also request Lady in Red or I'm Not in Love at this point.

All standing around the walls waiting for the action to kick off. Some of us hoping for that first snog, some already after a bit more. Loads of bottles of coke and lemonade on the table, but most have smuggled in something a bit stronger.

Abba playing away but still no-one wants to be first to dance.

TG and Sammy walk in. Boys' heads all turn.

Who is gonna make the first move?